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You know, just because your daughter complains about her problems when you talk to her, doesn't mean she's asking for you to solve her problems for her.
You know, just because your daughter complains about her problems when you talk to her, doesn't mean she's asking for you to solve her problems for her.
Hahaha...I have to keep reminding myself of this since it's always been my weak spot as a parent.
Her mistake was agreeing to live with them in the first place - these things happen though
Buy & install a lock for her own room - take anything of value that belongs to her and have it stored in her room (very effective if she owns any of the entertainment options that everyone uses, dishes, etc)
Next, stop cleaning up after them - but clean up common space .... she doesn't have to live like a pig, just because they like to ..... simply take all their trash and grime and deposit it back into their individual living space .... she has a right to have a clean common area - if they want to live in trash, let them - just do it in your own individual space
if they object, just laugh it off to how silly they are being
make the most out of a bad situation until she can leave, but she shouldn't be a door mat for these clowns .... bunker down and make some mutual hell and then move on - they'll either come around or despise her, either way is workable
I am a parent of college age kids. If this were my daughter, I would move her out now and eat the rent. I would tell my daughter she needs to pick better roommates next time and remember just how stupid the current situation is. The remaining roommates can fend for themselves and learn to live like semi-grownups.
For the OP - why are you using your daughter's name (assuming it is her real name) on the internet? I would never do that. You are exposing private matters as is, no need to make it known who is the daughter in question.
I understand college life can be crazy at times, but drunken college kids do stupid things, and sometimes those stupid things turn into huge mistakes.
im wondering if tidiness is a part of the lease agreement could the others girls failure to clean be a breach of contract? if so, could they be evicted? That would put your daughter in the position to decide who her new roommates will be. or you could just let her move back home if its close enough.
I would NOT continue to live with people who refused to secure the apartment, were okay with strangers trespassing due to unlocked doors, yet harrassed me over a dirty glass, sorry.
Bad roommates are a part of college life for most. I had one or two, and even though I was never in any potential danger due to their actions, I really wish I had just moved out, in retrospect. At the time, I was very anti being "chased" out of my own place, but looking back, my stubbornness and refusal on principle to be the one to leave only hurt me in the long run. Of course, I also lived in campus housing at the time, and had no rental obligations, and switching dorm rooms was a fairly easy feat, by comparison...I generally feel that living off campus is often a bad choice for college students, for many reasons, this being one of them...especially if you're living with strangers. Girls, in particular, can be really good at the "ganging up" thing, if there's a dispute and lines drawn. I am aware that not all colleges, especially urban ones, have sufficient on-campus housing for students, however, so I know that sometimes, there is no choice.
Thanks for the suggestions.
The girls seemed nice until she had to live with them 24/7. My daughter had never had a problem with room mates thinking that locking the outside doors was "silly & time consuming" so it was never discussed before they moved in together. She certainly discussed it before she signed her lease with next year's room mate (someone who she knows and gets along with very well). She also decided to try just two girls living together rather than four for next year. Right now her bedroom is securely locked & she's staying with a friend, sleeping on her couch, until she gets everything totally decided for summer. BTW, I didn't use her real name & I was very careful not to name the University or even the state. I'll post what happens.
oh my gosh- I wish my parents cared this much about the sorority house I lived in. simple answer-move out. Off campus housing is a dime a dozen.
Not sure what the OP is imagining, but in college most girls, and guys arent vacuuming, worried about doing the dishes and mowing the lawn-its college! ....if the roommates are inconsiderate, its time to move on.
I actually moved back on campus bcs at least they kept the halls clean in the dorm, and the sorority house did have poor security- just a sign of the times these days. One girl actually was raped as it was a large 3 story victorian, poor locks, etc. Slum lords dont follow the law, its not like an apartment building.
I hope the lock on room is really secure. My oldest son has been in a roommate situation that has been less than good this past year as well. One roommate would do things like just throw away dishes and glassware, all of which belonged to my son, rather than washing it. He even took some beautiful beer steins my son had purchased while studying abroad out of my sons room (lock was broken, waiting on maintenance), used them and then threw them away. In January my son left for a semester to do an internship across the country. He brought most of his stuff home, but left a few things he could not fit in his car, in boxes in his closet. While he was gone, he got a phone call from the 3rd roommate, reporting to him that the he come in the apartment to find the bad roommate had figured out how to get the lock open and was going through the boxes in my sons closet. He claimed he was looking for something of his, he thought my son had borrowed, which he had not. When asked how he got the lock open, he said the maintenance guy showed him how to open it.
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