Going Away to College vs. Commuting for College Age Students. (schools, best)
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This is how I feel as well My 18 year old is currently debating if he wants to live on campus or commute. I don't want him to be distracted w/ the drinking, partying, etc. that is notorious on college campuses. My primary concern is that he really gets a lot out of the education, or it's all pointless.
I know of kids who went hundreds of miles away to college, lived in the dorms, partied like there was no tomorrow & now are back home,
working for minimum wage.
I think that the point of a college education is not only to get an education but to also figure out who you are and what you want out of life and how to make that work. That's what happens when you have to make your own choices without a parent looking over your shoulder.
My kids have each gone to colleges out of state, messed up, fixed their messes and are indeed productive adults. I trusted that we raised them with good values to make those right decisions. So far, so good.
I must be from a different planet. Imagine even having the choice to go away... (And what defines College age? age 14 to 99+ AFAIK)
I was caring for a disabled parent, a farm, and working 3 jobs during my entire college programs (3 engineering degrees). Many of my friends were in similar situations. Some went a few hours away to school and came home Friday-Monday to care for parents and farms. Several would go away and work in AK or international and get enough bucks to support their parents and siblings, then later college for themselves. I put my Sis through college BEFORE I went myself.
BTW... I Commuted (only 1hr daily so I could be to work on time (2pm - 2AM-F + most weekends)). Good thing was that I had NO time to spend money, so I bought my first house at age 19. (Currently on house #24 and degree #5)
Sounds like you lived in a very different part of the country than where I did. There were no jobs without a college degree - certainly none that would allow one to buy at house at 19 (and this was a low COL area). I couldn't even find work while in high school because of the rapidly softening market - so I made doing well academically and getting merit aid and grants my job. I got more money in scholarships than my town's average household income in order to go 1000 miles away (to a place with public transportation) and double majored, double minored, learned one foreign language to fluency, and worked 2 jobs (one which involved a 3 mile commute on foot). All while, as I later found out, I had cancer that was sapping away my energy.
I sometimes wonder when people say things about not being able to go away to college. I could have gotten a full ride had I not gone to such a prestigious school - all because I did what I was supposed to do in high school. Even my brother got a fairly big scholarship, and he had a sub 3.5 GPA.
Commuting would have been much more expensive- involving buying a car, driving over an hour to the nearest college (which was not that well-regarded) and facing less scholarship money due to it's smaller endowment. Instead, I had most of my tuition covered and just had to pay for living expenses, books, meals, and a round trip flight once a year.
I went away for undergrad. I was able to have independence and be able to meet classmates from all over the country. Those are two great things about going away. I had an overall great experience and I am glad that I did go away! However, I do believe that one should be mentally and emotionally prepared for going away!
I stayed home and commuted for grad school, because: 1) I still had the job, and needed the money, and 2) staying home was the most affordable. I went to a grad school where I was able to meet people all over the world! In addition, I got a great graduate education. For these reasons, I never regretted it!
I think that the point of a college education is not only to get an education but to also figure out who you are and what you want out of life and how to make that work. That's what happens when you have to make your own choices without a parent looking over your shoulder.
My kids have each gone to colleges out of state, messed up, fixed their messes and are indeed productive adults. I trusted that we raised them with good values to make those right decisions. So far, so good.
I think that the point of a college education is not only to get an education but to also figure out who you are and what you want out of life and how to make that work. That's what happens when you have to make your own choices without a parent looking over your shoulder.
My kids have each gone to colleges out of state, messed up, fixed their messes and are indeed productive adults. I trusted that we raised them with good values to make those right decisions. So far, so good.
I agree with this.
I also applaud the expectations that the outcome may not be perfect, but that the experience, even the experience of messing up, can be educational.
I also trust that I have raised good kids with good values. If they make mistakes while away from home, that's not an indictment of them or of going away to college. It's part of growing up.
Young adults need a transitional place, and going away to college does more than just educate academically. It's an invaluable life experience.
I went away for undergrad. I was able to have independence and be able to meet classmates from all over the country. Those are two great things about going away. I had an overall great experience and I am glad that I did go away! However, I do believe that one should be mentally and emotionally prepared for going away!
I stayed home and commuted for grad school, because: 1) I still had the job, and needed the money, and 2) staying home was the most affordable. I went to a grad school where I was able to meet people all over the world! In addition, I got a great graduate education. For these reasons, I never regretted it!
Grad school is another thing. I think many people do what you did.
I agree that children need to be prepared for going away to college. I've done this since they were old enough to understand the concept. I also encouraged any opportunity to leave home, and to experience other cultures and people. From volunteer opportunities, to summer camp, I sent them to places where they were likely to realize that the world did not revolve around our home and our town.
Even so, my eldest was influenced by some friends that he met here in Pennsylvania, who were planning to commute.
While we felt flattered to some degree that he was happy at home, we took him to visit campuses that are out of state and diverse.
Pretty much. I considered moving away twice, but both times chickened out when I saw how much the complete package cost. I am very glad I made those decisions. I still managed to have a social life and study abroad. I think the only thing I missed out on was racking up a lot of debt.
I agree completely. I graduated with zero college debt by commuting.
I agree with burgler. I've had classmates in their mid 20's living back with their parents because they had too much fun away from home.
Every student is different.
I know many who moved back home after college due to the above. For anyone who says college kids need a social life by living away from home, mid 20-somethings need a social life even more by living away from home.
I know many who moved back home after college due to the above. For anyone who says college kids need a social life by living away from home, mid 20-somethings need a social life even more by living away from home.
I know kids who stayed at home and never graduated also. In the end it depends on the kid and how the parents have prepared them.
Last edited by Gatornation; 05-08-2012 at 07:55 PM..
I know kids who stayed at home and never graduated also. In the end it depends on the kid and what how the parents have prepared them.
I know of SO MANY MORE who stayed at home and dropped out.
Community Colleges right out of college are notorious for this.
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My 18 year old is currently debating if he wants to live on campus or commute. I don't want him to be distracted w/ the drinking, partying, etc. that is notorious on college campuses. My primary concern is that he really gets a lot out of the education, or it's all pointless. 
(And what defines College age? age 14 to 99+ AFAIK)
(only 1hr daily so I could be to work on time (2pm - 2AM-F + most weekends)). Good thing was that I had NO time to spend money, so I bought my first house at age 19. (Currently on house #24 and degree #5)
