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He's an engineering major and was in class. A student near him had a cold or allergies or something that was producing a great deal of, er, um, mucus. After about 45 minutes of listening to the student noisily make disgusting slurpy noises during the lecture, my son turned to the guy and said something along the lines of, "Dude, would you excuse yourself and go to the restroom and blow your nose?" The guy refused and continued his obnoxious behavior.
My son needed to speak with the professor after class and when he left, the other kid was waiting form him and tried to pick a fight with my son. To my knowledge, my son has never been involved in a full blown fist to cuff, and shies away from violence. The kid shoved him, my son said something to the affect of, "What is wrong with you? Are you aware you aware you just assaulted me?" The other kid yelled at my son that he had disrespected him and shoved him again demanding that my son show him respect - yeah, the irony is not lost on me. My son ended up shoving him back and that, of course, accelerated the situation and other students jumped in to defend my son.
When he tells me this, I flip out in my mamma bear way. I told him he needs to report it to the campus police and he told me he had phoned his professor with whom he has a very good relationship and told him what happend. I want that kid's head on spike, but my son doesn't want to get kid expelled over what he calls a mistake. I tell him this is not a mistake, but a pattern of behavior, most certainly. He's doing it because he has gotten away with it before.
The professor said he would handle it via the dean.
I have about eight years of post secondary education and have never seen anything remotely like this. I am astounded that this is even happened.
There is no such thing as a "young adult". A person is either an adult or not.
Your son was the victim of a crime. Report it to the police. Why do people look at things different because they happen at a school or college? There is no difference. The laws of the State in which you live apply and it doesn't matter where in State the incident took place.
If your son suffers retaliation, whistleblower protections apply and anyone involved in the retaliation can reap serious consequences.
Your son is away at college. He will take care of it himself. Don't worry too much about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
Agreed. Your son is an ADULT in college living away from you. Let him handle it.
I agree, although it is hard. For the most part, he is easy going. I, on the other hand, am not and have no problem starting up with anyone. He stated emphatically that he did not want me to interfere, but he wanted to give me a heads up as to what had happened.
I'm just curious if anyone has ever seen this happen at the university level before and what has happened to the aggressor.
Unfortunately altercations can happen, tell your son to learn to fight and stand up for himself. I'm not even sure why he would give you a heads up, I think he still might some growing to do.
Unfortunately altercations can happen, tell your son to learn to fight and stand up for himself. I'm not even sure why he would give you a heads up, I think he still might some growing to do.
He's not been around violence much and was a bit freaked out. He would defend himself if he had to - he's not small - but prefers not.
Learning to defend yourself when there are no other options is all fine and good, but responding physically at the first sign of aggression is inappropriate. I would expect that from someone low class with poor impulse control.
Nobody picks a fight with you because you told them to go to the bathroom and blow your nose. I'm sure there was a lot more said.
Why did he have to go tell the professor? That was silly. Fights happened all the time when I was in college (though not in class) and I went to a top school. You call them adults. They're not. They're pot smoking kids.
Either way, if you act like a dbag to dbags, fights happen.
I would have just ignored it. People show up sick to class all the time.
No - fights do not happen all the time ... fight happen with dbags, aholes, drunks, etc .... absolutely no place for it in a classroom or school property. Not to mention it's a big liability issue for the school to have assaults take place on their property - they aren't fond of fighting in anything that would implicate them.
I surely wasn't paying tens of thousands of dollars in tuition to deal with idiots like that
Swinging on the kid would do nothing but get you in trouble ... that's an idiotic solution, but people put their pride before their purpose frequently
Your son was in no real danger at that point so no need to escalate ..... if it were me, I would have removed myself from the situation - kept record of what went on and then after the next class when emotions wouldn't be charged simply ask if they have a minute and work out any issues ..... if they then choose to escalate it and harrass then I would go through the proper channels to have their behavior corrected or have them removed from my learning space
No need or excuses for such things
With that said, there are frequent annoyances in class that you just need to deal with ...... you should be expected to concentrate through some sniffles
well i bet if you dug a little deeper into cold boy's background you will most likely find out A. dad or mom is a bully B. He was raised in a violent environment . I pay people like that no attention and you should advise your son to do the same and just ignore people like that .Can your son choose another time for this class and avoid this ignoramus ? I think avoidance and ignore are the best choices but eventually this bully will be caught doing something much worse in this world we have to be so carefull when deal with the ignorance that this boy showed and I will say boy because he acted like he is five yrs old . good luck to you and I hope your son can avoid this jerk forever from now on .
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