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Bring him home, make him work and take 1-2 classes (general ed) at a time while he figures himself out and matures a little more.
My son was a classic underachiever in HS and early on in college and also can't write anything that can be read. It's so bad that one teacher wanted to diagnose him with something but right then a laptop program started in our school district and he never had to handwrite anything again. Not saying that's a good thing but he is working around his problem and isn't going to be "disabled". He had no choice but to work and go to community college, I didn't give him one and he didn't deserve or even want to do anything else. He got away with not picking a major (his AA was in Liberal Studies with Transfer requirements) but his gpa improved each semester. He will be starting at a university in the fall (still living at home and commuting) and went from an intended Business Major to CompSci so there is going to be a lot of math in his future. He says he'd rather major in something like History or Sociology but thinks he CompSci will pay off in the long run. Actually, he'd rather not go to college anymore at all but isn't interested in working retail forever. He's 23 and as long as he'd taking control of his life and making good decisions we get along just fine with this arrangement. I don't do anything for him now but talk about stuff, it's all on him.
This is great! That's why I did NOT push the issue of my son being labeled as "disabled". We live in the proud State of Texas that values individual responsibility and self-sufficiency.
Please inform me of how your son got to the point he did not have to handwrite as his predominate mode of written communication.
What type of training helped make your son more independent?
What tools or courses did he use?
Does he use his laptop in class to take notes? Thank you.
Our 21 year old son is bright, intelligent and well-mannered and a serious techie wanting to originally major in Computer Science.
From May 2010 to December 2012 he lived at home going to a local Community College. During this time his overall GPA was 2.8
His Godmother and many other family members and most importantly my son begged for him to stay on campus citing independence and doing better grade wise.
Once on Campus for the first time for Spring 2013 he had all the luxuries. Free rent, free food, walk to classes, freedom and significant time to do course work well. He ended his part time job and was only going to school full time.
However, he did not tell us until the day before Spring 2013 grades came out that he had stopped going to class mid semester. His grades are all F's for Spring 2013. Even the P.E. class for yoga is a F. He does have a handwriting disability so he simply could not take notes in History and Government. Still he did not even try in my opinion because he stopped going to class. He says he suffered with anxiety this semester and just slept away the days in his apartment. (Well why didn't he at least go to yoga?)
Background: My son has been raised by his mom (me) and grandmom. I have suffered the majority of his childhood with severe physical illnesses. His grandmom is quiet and offers little in the way of raising. His dad is in another city with a new family and has neglected his son since he was 12. The private high school my son went to robbed his future and our money by giving him grades (3.33GPA) even though he did not perform academically. (We found proof of this Senior year.) This lends to why he cares less about grades. Still he can do because the Psychologist says all the Diagnostic Tests show he has above average intelligence. His Math SAT is 640. The Psychologist says he suffers with NO mental or psychological illnesses and she is highly regarded. She simply says he has some anxiety.
Due to poor high school preparation, lack of discipline and plain laziness he is paying the price in College. He is now in a remedial study skills class and is on academic probation. He may lose all his Financial Aid because his current GPA is 1.89, below the required 2.0
He has not completed the basic State Core Curriculum yet he has been in Community College for 2 1/2 academic years.
Thank you for reading this story of our life. What would you do if this were your son?
If he has a disability something needs to be done about that. Are there any services that the college offers that he might qualify for? Is he a first generation college student? Some schools have programs for first generation students that offer help. It really is a shame what happened at his school and while it is hard to undo, these are some solutions that might help with the situation.
If he has a disability something needs to be done about that. Are there any services that the college offers that he might qualify for? Is he a first generation college student? Some schools have programs for first generation students that offer help. It really is a shame what happened at his school and while it is hard to undo, these are some solutions that might help with the situation.
He needs to enlist in the military, and I am not even kidding. A good drill sergeant will know exactly how to handle him. He needs a lot less coddling and a lot more real life experience.
This is great! That's why I did NOT push the issue of my son being labeled as "disabled". We live in the proud State of Texas that values individual responsibility and self-sufficiency.
Please inform me of how your son got to the point he did not have to handwrite as his predominate mode of written communication.
What type of training helped make your son more independent?
What tools or courses did he use?
Does he use his laptop in class to take notes? Thank you.
Are you talking about dysgraphia (basically, an inability to do anything in writing)? When I was a public school teacher I knew a few kids with that. It's really interesting how awful their work was when hand writing, and then how normal when typing. As an accommodation we used to give them a little word processor/laptop thing. It solved everything. Taking notes on a laptop in college is completely acceptable even if you don't have a disability. If any teacher has a problem with it, a quick visit to the office of disability services on campus should ensure that he has no trouble with it.
Tell him to drop out of college and go to work full time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelcake4
Excellent advice. I agree that he should drop out and go to work full time. He can go into a low level tech job and work his way up, learn a lot along the way.
Ah...like where? Unemployment for high school and college aged kids is somewhere in the 20% range, even kids that are go getters, and an established track record are finding damn near impossible to find even the lost paying gigs....
Anyway...
This is a freaking tough one. Generally speaking having been on my own since I was 17 I'm generally of the tough love school of thought. But on the other hand, that's a dicy proposition and can wind up going south real fast...
The military is not a cure all like it used to be. You screw-up there and your son might end up paying for it for the rest of his life. He needs structure and self-discipline (that was profound) how to achieve it... I don't think this is the place to find the answers. You and he both need professional help and guidance. You can't diagnose problems when you only hear one side of the story, no matter how truthful that story may appear.
Are you talking about dysgraphia (basically, an inability to do anything in writing)? When I was a public school teacher I knew a few kids with that. It's really interesting how awful their work was when hand writing, and then how normal when typing. As an accommodation we used to give them a little word processor/laptop thing. It solved everything. Taking notes on a laptop in college is completely acceptable even if you don't have a disability. If any teacher has a problem with it, a quick visit to the office of disability services on campus should ensure that he has no trouble with it.
I agree, but if there is no diagnosed disability already on record, he might face a problem.
I don't have a handwriting disability; however, I do have pretty awful handwriting when I cannot take my time. When I must quickly hand-write notes during a lecture, they get pretty illegible and immediately after class I need to re-write them, or better yet, type them up, before I forget what they say and can't read my own writing.
This wasn't an issue for me at the community college I attended, where everyone brought a laptop and taking notes that way was the norm. I type about 90WMP so I could, if I wanted to, come close to transcribing the professor's words verbatim. It was a great thing. I type much more efficiently than writing by hand.
Then I transferred to the University where I am now and the entire attitude about laptop use was different. I was shocked to learn that many, actually MOST of the professors at this school do NOT allow laptops at all, and have it written in their syllabus, due to students who screw around during class watching YouTube videos or Facebooking (or, in one case a professor shared a story about, viewing PORN. He caught a student watching PORN in class. He found out when students sitting near that guy complained!) so again, some bad apples have screwed it up for the rest of us.
So at my current school, there are many professors who DO require proof of a disability in order to allow a computer for note taking. My scribbly notes are the result and my hand is always cramped.
I don't see the point in not taking advantage of disability services if it is an option. I am from Tex-ass too. I get the "buck up and do it yourself, no weakness, bootstraps, suck it up" attitude but there has to be a limit. We don't tell someone who needs a wheelchair to buck up and deal with crutches instead. If there is a genuine problem there, I believe there is no shame in utilizing services that are available to level the playing field for the student.
As I mentioned, see if there are any services that he qualifies for. If he has a disability I would imagine there is something that might work. Also, if he is a first generation college student he may qualify for certain programs that provide more one on one instruction. No harm in looking into any of this.
I agree, but if there is no diagnosed disability already on record, he might face a problem.
I don't have a handwriting disability; however, I do have pretty awful handwriting when I cannot take my time. When I must quickly hand-write notes during a lecture, they get pretty illegible and immediately after class I need to re-write them, or better yet, type them up, before I forget what they say and can't read my own writing.
This wasn't an issue for me at the community college I attended, where everyone brought a laptop and taking notes that way was the norm. I type about 90WMP so I could, if I wanted to, come close to transcribing the professor's words verbatim. It was a great thing. I type much more efficiently than writing by hand.
Then I transferred to the University where I am now and the entire attitude about laptop use was different. I was shocked to learn that many, actually MOST of the professors at this school do NOT allow laptops at all, and have it written in their syllabus, due to students who screw around during class watching YouTube videos or Facebooking (or, in one case a professor shared a story about, viewing PORN. He caught a student watching PORN in class. He found out when students sitting near that guy complained!) so again, some bad apples have screwed it up for the rest of us.
So at my current school, there are many professors who DO require proof of a disability in order to allow a computer for note taking. My scribbly notes are the result and my hand is always cramped.
I don't see the point in not taking advantage of disability services if it is an option. I am from Tex-ass too. I get the "buck up and do it yourself, no weakness, bootstraps, suck it up" attitude but there has to be a limit. We don't tell someone who needs a wheelchair to buck up and deal with crutches instead. If there is a genuine problem there, I believe there is no shame in utilizing services that are available to level the playing field for the student.
This is surely worth while doing: Getting the school to give the accomodation at least for the typing.
A laptop is small how do you do 90 wpm on a laptop? What teaching tool or class or software did you use?
I wonder if an ipad with keyboard is a possibility? A little smaller. Is 90 wpm possible to learn on an ipad?
Also, he's taking the History, Government and English Lit courses online to avoid lecture notes. These are the classes he has to repeat.
Are you talking about dysgraphia (basically, an inability to do anything in writing)? When I was a public school teacher I knew a few kids with that. It's really interesting how awful their work was when hand writing, and then how normal when typing. As an accommodation we used to give them a little word processor/laptop thing. It solved everything. Taking notes on a laptop in college is completely acceptable even if you don't have a disability. If any teacher has a problem with it, a quick visit to the office of disability services on campus should ensure that he has no trouble with it.
What was this little word processor/laptop thing. Would an ipad with keyboard be the equivalent today. Can one type 90 wpm on a an ipad? Or 90 wpm on a laptop? I wonder if an ipad with keyboard is a possibility? A little smaller. Also, he's taking the History, Government and English Lit courses online to avoid lecture notes. These are the classes he has to repeat.
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Some Solutions
Best Tool to do typing in class.
