[East of the River]

I've only ever driven thru Ledyard so not much experience there but I have a coworker who has lived there for 20 years and loves it. I used to work in Waterford loved the town and Niantic. If I move I would love to move down into that area, I'm in central CT now because of work and family.

[EasternCTBias]

I would look at Ledyard. Groton and Waterford could be options as well. Groton might have some less desireable areas but has some very nice areas and has a big Navy population. Ledyard is a bedroom community with decent schools, most people work at the big employers, including Navy & Coast Guard. Waterford is a nice town, probably the best high school of the three (just spent a boatload on their highschool) but a little farther. IMO, no need to go as far as Stonington or East/Old Lyme for what you need.

Between the Navy and Coast Guard, Ledyard and Groton have a very large number of service affiliated families. Also due to the Navy/Coast Guard, Electric Boat's connection to Virginia, and the Casinos you will meet people from across the country, so you should be accepted quickly. You won't be the only "southerner" in the region and people generally have a positive opinion of the south. You will also find people from across the income spectrum, but largely people aren't judgmental based on how much money people make (as compared to other places I've lived).

If you are looking for a higher-cost area, then I agree Mystic (which is a village split between Groton and Stonington), Stonington, or East Lyme might be worth looking at but will add to your husband's commute (assuming he is on/near the sub base). Mystic is also the biggest tourist area in the state, so if you choose to live there be prepared to be mobbed in the summer. IMO you can easily enjoy these areas while living in one of the other mentioned communities.

EDIT: I forgot to add. Once you move, check out Westerly Packing Co in Westerly RI. Great Italian grocer/distributor. The Italian restaurants in Providence are some of the best outside of Italy. Also, just about every CT town has its own pizza place - Tony D's in New London, Buon Appetitio in North Stonington, and Valentino's in Ledyard are all delicious! (I'm making myself hungry!)