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I get this, but how many dads or moms go through a fake wedding ceremony with their kid because their four year old said, "I want to marry you, Daddy/Mommy?"
There's something "ew" about this to me, I can't help it and explanations don't make it better. I mean, he couldn't say, "Well, I can't marry you but I can be your best friend forever and that's even better," and then have something around that?
This is how I feel as well. Now, I am not ascribing any sinister motives whatsoever to the nurse, and I'm willing to bet that he genuinely loves this little girl (in a completely appropriate way) and merely wanted to do something to make her happy. I just think that the "best friend forever" route would have been a much better way to go about it. They could have had some kind of "BFF commitment ceremony" (like maybe exchanging lollipops or stuffed animals or something) and that would have been that.
This is how I feel as well. Now, I am not ascribing any sinister motives whatsoever to the nurse, and I'm willing to bet that he genuinely loves this little girl (in a completely appropriate way) and merely wanted to do something to make her happy. I just think that the "best friend forever" route would have been a much better way to go about it. They could have had some kind of "BFF commitment ceremony" (like maybe exchanging lollipops or stuffed animals or something) and that would have been that.
LOL! What 4 yo is going to understand there is a difference? How would you suggest explaining a "commitment ceremony" to a 4 yo? Seriously, I am so baffled by why this is so bothersome. I guess I just lack whatever it is that makes this inappropriate in any way.
LOL! What 4 yo is going to understand there is a difference? How would you suggest explaining a "commitment ceremony" to a 4 yo? Seriously, I am so baffled by why this is so bothersome. I guess I just lack whatever it is that makes this inappropriate in any way.
The 4 year old wouldn't have known the difference. But the adult nurse would. And in this one small way, he could have helped to guide this little girl, whom he obviously cares about, in the ways of the world and about how some things are appropriate in some situations with certain people, but not in others.
The little girl did nothing wrong. But IMO, the nurse, and the girl's parents, should have handled it in a different way.
The 4 year old wouldn't have known the difference. But the adult nurse would. And in this one small way, he could have helped to guide this little girl, whom he obviously cares about, in the ways of the world and about how some things are appropriate in some situations with certain people, but not in others.
The little girl did nothing wrong. But IMO, the nurse, and the girl's parents, should have handled it in a different way.
But the ways of her world are different than the norm. She will have no expectations. When my own sister was 5, she was in the hospital & became attached to a male nurse, who she referred to as her "boyfriend." When she was 6, she "married" a friend-of-the-family, who was 5 years her senior, at a school carnival. Neither relationship had any expectations, from either party. Seriously, she decided she was a cat around the same time and ate on the floor. My own daughter and her cousin (a girl) went through a "wedding" phase, where they would take turns being a bride. Sometimes the other was a groom, sometimes a stuffed animal stood in. Kids pretend all the time. Kids that age do not know, nor are they capable of understanding, what the realities of weddings/marriages are. They are very black/white about things. To this child, being married mostly means you get to be with your favorite person. And when a child is ill, it's not a time to have a big talk about the appropriateness of a relationship, when the child will NOT understand a word of it, nor will he/she benefit from a life-lesson at that point. If all adults concerned were comfortable with the situation, and it is a completely innocent game of pretend, why should it matter? Should they have denied this and told her the tooth fairy & Santa aren't real, too? Told her that Disney movies are all unrealistic and that none of her stuffed animals can really talk? She'll learn all that as she grows.
You do know that children that age often want to "marry" a parent, caregiver, best friend, pet, stuffed animal, etc., right? Marriage is a totally different concept for a very young child, and reflects an attachment that is nothing like the adult concept of marriage. If the nurse was happy to participate, and it made the child happy during treatment, what's the problem?
Boy are you correct. Will never forget when I was small wanting to marry my dad. My mother immediately squashed that idea by letting me know she was already married to him. I thought when reading this story it got a bit much but thats how things are handled now adays. Look how many sick children get to becomd Batman and other heros and an entire town supports them. Its something a child will remember their entire life. So be it and bless them.
The 4 year old wouldn't have known the difference. But the adult nurse would. And in this one small way, he could have helped to guide this little girl, whom he obviously cares about, in the ways of the world and about how some things are appropriate in some situations with certain people, but not in others.
The little girl did nothing wrong. But IMO, the nurse, and the girl's parents, should have handled it in a different way.
Out of curiosity, how many 4 year olds have you personally dealt with for extended periods of time?
Because in two days, she'll have moved on to something else. I think people are putting this into actual "marriage" connotations, like he's some sort of sick pedophile & the parents are pandering their child. She is sick & had a heart's desire, which tomorrow might be to ride a unicorn. It's so totally harmless. And MANY kids play "wedding" and get married. Why do you think their are dress up wedding dresses sold? Why do Barbie & Ken have wedding garb? It's an INNOCENT fantasy. Totally innocent. There is absolutely no sexual connotation to it. Yeesh. I'm kind of creeped out about how many people are creeped out. Why do your minds go to a dark place so automatically?
And my son once gave me a gumball machine ring & said, "Now we're married like you & Daddy, and we can be together forever." I accepted it. He's much older now & understands that we aren't married, and has no desire to go there. I asked him about it, and he has no recollection of ever, ever wanting to be married to me. He moved on. It's a game, playing pretend. It likely made her feel better, and that may help her get better.
I literally can't help how I feel about this. As I said, no explanation will take away the fact that I immediately went "ew," which was not a thought-out response, it was visceral.
It's super cute and not creepy at all that your son gave you a gumball and said you and he were married (because he was a little kid), but did you, as the adult, then go ahead and create a whole ceremony around it and invite his and your friends? Gosh, I hope not.
I absolutely don't feel creeped out at all. I honestly don't know how, given that context and the child's age, people can find it creepy. The nurse wanted to bring a modicum of sunshine to a pretty sad situation, good for him. Childhood cancer is a terrible terrible thing. But eh...
Bless that little girl's heart. I hope she recovers and has a good, full life.
I literally can't help how I feel about this. As I said, no explanation will take away the fact that I immediately went "ew," which was not a thought-out response, it was visceral.
It's super cute and not creepy at all that your son gave you a gumball and said you and he were married (because he was a little kid), but did you, as the adult, then go ahead and create a whole ceremony around it and invite his and your friends? Gosh, I hope not.
You totally failed to understand the part that the girl in this particular story is a freakin cancer patient. And if you don't understand the importance of giving in to a 4 year old cancer patients reasonable request for a little mock wedding because it's something that would give her a reason to smile, I feel bad for you as a human being.
I'm more confused on how some of you people with so little reasoning are able to acquire jobs and make enough money to afford a computer and internet connection
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