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IF parents really wanted to change something there is a very very simple way to do it.
Keep your child home. But parents refuse to take a stand. Parents hold all the cards but are too afraid to play them. And instead send their kids day after day into an environment that they KNOW is not safe.
It's sick.
Totally agree on this. Tons of world citizens are just simple sheep and are easily riled up over foolishness. When it comes to exercising their rights and power for the simplest of principles? Uh, that won't work.
An aside: One thing that always bothered me about public school is that as a parent, you have no access to your child. You can't go into the school. You can't go into the classroom without a background/fingerprint check. And then only when it's been preapproved and with permission.
If you really think about, the school is withholding your child from you. You need consent from the SCHOOL to get to your child. You as a parent have to ask permission to remove your child. You have to bring a note in to ask permission to take your child from class.
Who is really in control of your child in this scenario? You as a parent or the school?
Just had yet another conversation with a parent who was discussing how awful the public schools are. She finally enrolled her kids on private school, because she could not get any other parents to try to change it. Parents complained had issues were upset etc. but NO ONE would do ANYTHING. Not a thing. She finally gave up. And this was in a wealthy school district.
The story she heard yesterday was of an incident between two kids, and one of the kids was given therapy at the school because of the incident. The parent was not allowed to know what happened or who the other kid was, AND subsequently found out that her child was given therapy from the school psychologist WITHOUT HER CONSENT OR KNOWLEDGE.
Did she do anything about it? Nope.
Parents just don't care enough. It's a crying shame.
You already said you don't have kids in school. I don't know if you just don't have kids, or just don't have them in school. Anyway.
Yes, when you hand your child over to a school (or a camp etc) you hand over a certain amount of your rights for that period of time. Because a child always has to have someone that is responsible for them at that moment in time. And when they are at school, it is the adults in charge. Like if your kid needs an ambulance, you give them that right to call the ambulance? Same idea. There is no other way for it to be.
A minor point, as far as the notes, they need documentation that they didn't just lose your kid, that you took them out. Not really a big deal and for the protection of the kids
I guess my main point is that schools are the way they are because they are institutions. They can't be anything else. The great thing is that here in the US we have freedom to homeschool if we choose. A lot of countries don't
You already said you don't have kids in school. I don't know if you just don't have kids, or just don't have them in school. Anyway.
Yes, when you hand your child over to a school (or a camp etc) you hand over a certain amount of your rights for that period of time. Because a child always has to have someone that is responsible for them at that moment in time. And when they are at school, it is the adults in charge. Like if your kid needs an ambulance, you give them that right to call the ambulance? Same idea. There is no other way for it to be.
A minor point, as far as the notes, they need documentation that they didn't just lose your kid, that you took them out. Not really a big deal and for the protection of the kids
I guess my main point is that schools are the way they are because they are institutions. They can't be anything else. The great thing is that here in the US we have freedom to homeschool if we choose. A lot of countries don't
You pretty much hand over all your rights as a parent when you give your child to a school. But most parents don't understand that. In that timeframe when the school has your child, your rights as a parent are suspended. The school can teach whatever it wants, discipline however it wants, socialize however it wants, what you as a parent would do is irrelevant.
Unless parents actually took a stand and made demands as a GROUP. Then, they could change the school. policies.
Camp is different. It is voluntary. It costs money. Without giving the parents what they want, the camp would have no customers. It is the difference in being selective (choosing a camp) and accepting what is (antibullying/zero tolerance) because it's too much effort to change.
We homeschool. No way would I send my kid to a public school. 30 years ago? Maybe. Today? NWIH. I hear horror stories all the time from public school friends. Yet they KEEP sending the kids. They all say they would homeschool "if they could." Choices.
You pretty much hand over all your rights as a parent when you give your child to a school. But most parents don't understand that. In that timeframe when the school has your child, your rights as a parent are suspended. The school can teach whatever it wants, discipline however it wants, socialize however it wants, what you as a parent would do is irrelevant.
Unless parents actually took a stand and made demands as a GROUP. Then, they could change the school. policies.
Camp is different. It is voluntary. It costs money. Without giving the parents what they want, the camp would have no customers. It is the difference in being selective (choosing a camp) and accepting what is (antibullying/zero tolerance) because it's too much effort to change.
We homeschool. No way would I send my kid to a public school. 30 years ago? Maybe. Today? NWIH. I hear horror stories all the time from public school friends. Yet they KEEP sending the kids. They all say they would homeschool "if they could." Choices.
Choices? Sounds like you have been blessed more than the vast majority with "choices", seeing as how you can afford to home school. The overwhelming majority of the families out there survive because both spouses work 40+ hour/week jobs. Hard to home school if you're homeless.
I say that, as one of the lucky ones myself, whereby my wife is afforded the ability to stay at home with our kids, and can be there for them while I am out earning a living for all 4 of us to live on. We are very lucky in many regards, and that is certainly one of them.
A parent does not "hand over" their rights when they take their kids to school. A parent's rights are the basic core of the US legal system, and the many laws we all must live by. A parent is "sharing" their rights with the school, done so with the utmost trust that the fiduciary and social responsibilities of our society, which are governed by those same laws, is upheld by the school. If not, then consequences should be put upon the school in the same manner as they would the parent who allowed a fight to occur on their property, whereby the parent allows their own child to beat the snot out of someone else's child.
End of the day reality for the overwhelming majority of our society, is that school is needed for more than just the child who attends it. And our legal system MUST protect ALL of our children, and PUNISH those who violate those laws. A parent taking their child to school, is not a violation of any law, or a violation of good parenting. Just the opposite in fact.
You pretty much hand over all your rights as a parent when you give your child to a school. But most parents don't understand that. In that timeframe when the school has your child, your rights as a parent are suspended. The school can teach whatever it wants, discipline however it wants, socialize however it wants, what you as a parent would do is irrelevant.
Unless parents actually took a stand and made demands as a GROUP. Then, they could change the school. policies.
Camp is different. It is voluntary. It costs money. Without giving the parents what they want, the camp would have no customers. It is the difference in being selective (choosing a camp) and accepting what is (antibullying/zero tolerance) because it's too much effort to change.
We homeschool. No way would I send my kid to a public school. 30 years ago? Maybe. Today? NWIH. I hear horror stories all the time from public school friends. Yet they KEEP sending the kids. They all say they would homeschool "if they could." Choices.
I agree, you do hand over many rights as a parent when you give your child to a school. Complaining about a school being a school is like complaining that water is wet.
Again, I live in NJ, and most policy is made at the state level, not the local level (curriculum, bullying, etc)
So, do you think that when a child is bullied at school, let's say repeatedly, it is the parents' fault for sending them back in there?
Choices? Sounds like you have been blessed more than the vast majority with "choices", seeing as how you can afford to home school. The overwhelming majority of the families out there survive because both spouses work 40+ hour/week jobs. Hard to home school if you're homeless.
I say that, as one of the lucky ones myself, whereby my wife is afforded the ability to stay at home with our kids, and can be there for them while I am out earning a living for all 4 of us to live on. We are very lucky in many regards, and that is certainly one of them.
A parent does not "hand over" their rights when they take their kids to school. A parent's rights are the basic core of the US legal system, and the many laws we all must live by. A parent is "sharing" their rights with the school, done so with the utmost trust that the fiduciary and social responsibilities of our society, which are governed by those same laws, is upheld by the school. If not, then consequences should be put upon the school in the same manner as they would the parent who allowed a fight to occur on their property, whereby the parent allows their own child to beat the snot out of someone else's child.
End of the day reality for the overwhelming majority of our society, is that school is needed for more than just the child who attends it. And our legal system MUST protect ALL of our children, and PUNISH those who violate those laws. A parent taking their child to school, is not a violation of any law, or a violation of good parenting. Just the opposite in fact.
You do not need to be "rich" to homeschool. I know some homeschool families that have a home business. I know some where 1 parent works. I know some where BOTH parents work, split schedules. It CAN and IS being done everyday, by high-, middle- and low-income families. It is a CHOICE.
But people don't want to hear that. They want to think there is always only 1 solution to every situation.
And my elementary school age nephew was shoved so aggressively into a wall a public school that he had a concussion. The school did NOTHING. Not. One. Thing. They wouldn't even tell if the attacker was disciplined. The attacker didn't even apologize, although the kids mother was mortified.
I'm sure if you as an adult were shoved into a wall so hard you had a concussion, nothing would happen to the attacker. I mean, the law is the law, right? they wouldn't tell you what happened or even who the person was, if any punishment was given. /facepalm/
And by law, you can defend yourself. Self defense is permissible. Not in school, though. Children are NOT allowed to defend yourself. Interesting dichotomy. Removes all liability for supervising kids. I mean if the adults/teachers can't be bothered to find out which kid started it, just punish everyone. Don't even have to watch them anymore. Laws don't work that way for adults who can defend themselves.
Interesting that you equate public schooling with a legal responsibility of a parent on behalf of a child. Kinda of a shocking way to interpret "education" . As a legal issue, contract between child, parent and "society." Shudder.
So, do you think that when a child is bullied at school, let's say repeatedly, it is the parents' fault for sending them back in there?
Sometimes. I know someone who was threatened by a bully at school (said he would kill him) so his mom pulled him out of school. She was a single mom who had to work, so she couldn't really homeschool him very well. She just pulled him out of school to save his life. I'd hate to be in that situation.
I also know of a child bullied at school because she is very small for her age. Luckily, her parents were able to afford to put her in a private school.
You pretty much hand over all your rights as a parent when you give your child to a school. But most parents don't understand that. In that timeframe when the school has your child, your rights as a parent are suspended. The school can teach whatever it wants, discipline however it wants, socialize however it wants, what you as a parent would do is irrelevant.
Unless parents actually took a stand and made demands as a GROUP. Then, they could change the school. policies.
Camp is different. It is voluntary. It costs money. Without giving the parents what they want, the camp would have no customers. It is the difference in being selective (choosing a camp) and accepting what is (antibullying/zero tolerance) because it's too much effort to change.
We homeschool. No way would I send my kid to a public school. 30 years ago? Maybe. Today? NWIH. I hear horror stories all the time from public school friends. Yet they KEEP sending the kids. They all say they would homeschool "if they could." Choices.
I don't know what it is with you, but it's not as black and white and you're making it seem.
Some people just HAVE to send their kids to whatever school is readily available. Some parents don't have the money to afford a lawyer (like you wrote about earlier) for change. Hell, some parents barely have money in general and the cheapo public school in their neighborhood is their only realistic option.
When it comes to hitting back, as someone who recently graduated school and actually went to several, it's true. You literally, as a person being bullied, can't hit back. You risk being suspended or expelled for simple self defense and god forbid your bully is the school super athlete, now you're screwed and their babied. If that's the only high school in the district, you have (maybe) the alternative school as your only option. If there is no ALC there, now what? You're ****ed is what.
You are lucky. YOU can homeschool your children, but that's not a realistic option for some and it's wouldn't kill you to be a little caring and try to see it from both sides.
And I'll be honest, I sympathize with the schools too. Now, they have to not only deal with bullying on school property, which makes sense to me, but they are also somehow responsible for bullying that takes place on social media? How the heck are they supposed to police that? Parents won't even police their own kids' internet activity but the school is responsible for it?
The other thing is that boys tend to be more physical and open with the bullying (not all, but in general) But girls can be sneaky as heck. They know how to do things discreetly so adults don't catch them. Even from a young age
Sometimes when I read these types of stories (not this one in particular but more the suicide stories), I do catch myself saying, oh why didn't the parents get the kid out of there? But it's so easy to think, one more day, let's try to make this work, etc. And there aren't a lot of educational options for most families in America.
It's all very complicated and I don't know what the answer is. I don't think there is one sometimes.
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