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Are you judging her because she died or because she was out drinking at 3am? It seems to me the judgement is that being a mother she should not have been out drinking to celebrate.
Couples out celebrating often drink, they sometimes get drunk, they are sometimes out at 3 am. I guess that is ok as long as you dont have an accident and die.
I do.
The *fun* stops after having two kids in my book.
If you choose to have more and more, then it all becomes about the motherhood, and it includes taking care of yourself, because having a lot of kids becomes your priority, and you are there to take care of THEM.
It's not about yourself and your "fun" any longer.
"Fun" in this case is having 5 of them, the joy of having big family. Some women find happiness in it.
So they need to stick to that happiness and to do what it takes to take care of children.
And this includes sacrificing being drunk at 3 a.m on some "party bus."
It's possible some may criticize this behavior because they never are thrown a party nor invited to one, much less a party bus., so they need to try to heal old hurts. The green eyed monster. If convinced those who have a party, obviously having a good time, are punished in some way, it may convince someone that being bored always at home, or very few friends, is the way to live.
Yes, we're all safer if we never leave the house. Not mentally safer though. Isolation is not a good thing. Neither is the green eyed monster.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MechAndy
I think that her and her group were acting responsible for hiring a professional driver.
So what if it was a party bus.
I can’t even imagine what raising 5 kids would be like especially at a young age but I sure it is challenging.
I might even want to have a boys night out dealing with all that if it were me.
What are we supposed to be perfect 24/7?
This is just rotten luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
You don't know if she was drunk at all. You don't have to be drunk to lose balance even just standing up on a bus. No one ever answered my question on whether the people judging her would judge the same if she and her husband went away to celebrate an anniversary and drank on the trip. Because I don't see much difference.
My niece has 4 kids and they will be drinking during the Superbowl. They drink when they go to the casino, too.
Celebrating a 30th birthday is a milestone birthday and I don't think it's unusual to party for it, even for those with kids. people are acting like parents are supposed to sit around knitting or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
And you wont get an answer because you know the answer.
And if it had been her husband that went out partying with the boys for his 30th and died in a freak accident you wouldn't hear anything about why did he have 5 kids and why was he drunk at 3 am.
Wow, the judgy people with their noses stuck up in the air must think they are perfect! They think once you have a kid you have to stop living your life? I'm gonna go with... I bet their kids feel smothered by the parents that don't have their own life and live through them instead... or they maybe feel like said parent regret having to give up their life because of them? Darn I'm lucky to have had parents who enjoyed their own time, going out, etc. while raising me. Happy parents? Happy well adjusted kids who realize "parents" are actually "people" too.
That’s fine if people want to judge me. My nose certainly isn’t in the air.
I think many parents are happy to get some alone time or some time with friends of their own. Not everything that is fun has to involve late nights and alcohol.
I do.
The *fun* stops after having two kids in my book.
If you choose to have more and more, then it all becomes about the motherhood, and it includes taking care of yourself, because having a lot of kids becomes your priority, and you are there to take care of THEM.
It's not about yourself and your "fun" any longer.
"Fun" in this case is having 5 of them, the joy of having big family. Some women find happiness in it.
So they need to stick to that happiness and to do what it takes to take care of children.
And this includes sacrificing being drunk at 3 a.m on some "party bus."
That is a sad life. If you are a parent I feel sorry for you that you no longer allowed yourself to have fun. Ever.
It makes me wonder how your kids, or the children of those who feel as you, turn out and see the world. I remember growing up seeing my parents have fun, laughing, doing things they enjoyed, being a person as well as a parent. They even had occasional drinks on New Years and special occasions.
Wow, the judgy people with their noses stuck up in the air must think they are perfect! They think once you have a kid you have to stop living your life? I'm gonna go with... I bet their kids feel smothered by the parents that don't have their own life and live through them instead... or they maybe feel like said parent regret having to give up their life because of them? Darn I'm lucky to have had parents who enjoyed their own time, going out, etc. while raising me. Happy parents? Happy well adjusted kids who realize "parents" are actually "people" too.
Thats what I'm wondering.
Obviously, when one becomes a parent there are sacrifices and you dont have the freedom to do all the things you did before becoming a parent, but IMO part of parenting is raising your kids to be well adjusted, happy, to embrace life, experience things, find themselves and find joy in life. If you stop living your life, how are your kids going to know how to live life.
This is not saying its ok to stay out every night or get drunk all the time or committ crimes. Of course we should set good examples for our children and put their wellbeing first. That does not mean fun has to end or you cant have an occasional night out without them.
That is a sad life. If you are a parent I feel sorry for you that you no longer allowed yourself to have fun. Ever.
It makes me wonder how your kids, or the children of those who feel as you, turn out and see the world. I remember growing up seeing my parents have fun, laughing, doing things they enjoyed, being a person as well as a parent. They even had occasional drinks on New Years and special occasions.
OMG...if someone's 'fun' is getting drunk every weekend then they should not have children. Period.
What does your parents laughing have anything to do with it? were they drunk? Lol
That’s fine if people want to judge me. My nose certainly isn’t in the air.
I think many parents are happy to get some alone time or some time with friends of their own. Not everything that is fun has to involve late nights and alcohol.
Basically you think that because she went out on a bus and had a good time, that may or may not have included getting drunk, she asked for what happened. I mean you seem fine with it if she stays home and gets drunk, or if she goes out but doesn't get drunk, but the combination of both while being a mom (sacrosanct in your world I guess) is the epitome of bad parenting. I can think of a many, many things that IMO are much worse for parents to do, including demonstrating some of the shallow and extremely judgmental attitudes presented here.
OMG...if someone's 'fun' is getting drunk every weekend then they should not have children. Period.
What does your parents laughing have anything to do with it? were they drunk? Lol
Not sure why you think its all about getting drunk. We dont know if the women that died was drunk. I have not seen her blood alcohol level stated anywhere. She was celebrating her big 30, I imagine she was having some drinks. She wasnt getting drunk every weekend.
Laughter most often accompanies having fun. You dont need to be drunk to have fun. My parents had fun and laughed without alcohol. On those special occasions when they did have a few drinks they were laughing and having fun as well.
The poster says the fun stops. Not getting drunk. The *fun* stops after having two kids in my book.
Perhaps the poster meant getting drunk should stop after two kids (not sure why not one kid) but that is not what was said. And again, this woman was not getting drunk as a habit. No one is supporting a parent getting drunk every weekend and not taking care of their kids.
I think some of us are questioning why someone with 5 kids would still be doing things like that...that's all.
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