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Right I think the thing that’s interesting is that hind sight of course she should have stayed home! I’m sure the Boston cop i posted about in another thread and his girlfriend who ran him over with her car wishes she stayed home too.
From my observation of the video, and backed up by the police report. BTW is everybody seeing the images I'm posting? They are kind of popping in and out for me. I don't know what the problems is.
You looked into more than I did. I can''t even recall the video I last watched lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
Granted, when you become a parent your life is not entirely your own, but you should still have one outside of parental duties. Parents, especially mothers, pretty much have given up their life, idenity, when they have children. You give up (sometimes) your career, your sleep, your selfcare, your free time, your friends, hobbies, education, money, etc. (I know not every parent gives up all of these things, but you get what I'm saying). IMO, to be a good parent one must also be a balanced person and this means some me time, some scrap of identity of who you were before becoming someone little persons entire world. If we get lost being nothing more than someones mommy or daddy how are we to teach our children to discover who they are and become well adjusted, strong, confident individuals.
None of us know what type of parent she or her husband were or are. We know nothing. We also know nothing about their marriage. For all we know, this may be the worst that's ever happened to him, or maybe he'd rather have the money of the go fund me? How do any of us know she didn't have social services in her life? Also, just because she's married, does not mean that the kids she has are biologically related to her husband. If you look at their ages, there could be 3 biological fathers with the youngest being her husbands. If that's the case, depending on who would get custody of the other 4, we may hear about lawsuits from whoever gets custody of those kids.
Those of you saying, she was being responsible, do you really believe that? We're in a pandemic with COVID. It's especially bad in California, she has at least one kid at home, a 1 year old, who did not qualify for the vaccine. Is it really being responsible going out like that to possibly bring COVID back to her house, husband and kids?
When I was her age, I had 2 kids, I didn't go bar hopping, that was my early 20's after being legal to drink. Almost 30 my youngest was 2. I was just starting my nights and weekend job at Caldors. If we drank, we did so at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB
No...many will NOT wonder why this woman was on a party bus. YOU continue to wonder...but you're not everyone.
There is nothing here to implicate that she DIDN'T think before she drank. She (indeed, her family) assumed that she WAS safe, out having a fun time with her friends. It was a FREAK ACCIDENT and/or negligence on the part of the bus company that got her killed. Not her drinking. Not her dancing. Not her partying. Not the hour of the day.
You know I agree with you a lot. You and a few others have the opinion that she was being responsible riding on a party bus. Others can have a different opinion. Neither opinion is right or wrong. She went out, maybe she was responsible riding that bus, maybe she was sloppy, falling down drunk. We don't know that. All we know is what I've copied over that her husband and family has provided.
She was the life of the party, which I don't consider a positive trait, but that's my opinion. She had 5 kids. We don't know what kind of mother she was. Maybe she was feeling ok, maybe she was drunker than heck. It was her dancing, tripping, falling on the door, yes it could be a freak accident that ultimately ended her life. As I said, when it's your time, it's your time.
No one's opinion is right and no ones is wrong. We're all going to have them.
I'm not sure how I feel yet except I don't consider going bar hopping with a party bus as being responsible when you have 5 kids at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
It is easy to lose balance on a bus. You don't have to be three sheets to the wind. She lost her balance and fell against the emergency door, which opened. It should never have opened in that circumstance.
So is it also wrong for a couple to go away on an anniversary cruise or vacation and drink during the vacation while grandparents watch the kids? Just curious, because I don't see the difference but somehow I don't think people would be judging as much as they are in this circumstance.
She was being more responsible than just going out somewhere to celebrate her big birthday with her friends (also a legit activity even for *gasp* parents). They used a party bus to make sure no one would have to drive.
Right, easy to lose your balance on a bus, even easier if you're drunk. Party buses are a bad idea, for this very reason.
Isn't an emergency door supposed to open when you open it? She most likely fell into the door handle, which did what it was supposed to, opened the door. Are emergency exit doors supposed to be locked to stop people drinking from falling into them (accidentally or however)?
If a parent is going to go out drinking, no matter in bars, on a party bus, boat, cruise, whatever happens if they lose their life or get hurt, then yes, they made a bad choice.
You looked into more than I did. I can''t even recall the video I last watched lol
None of us know what type of parent she or her husband were or are. We know nothing. We also know nothing about their marriage. For all we know, this may be the worst that's ever happened to him, or maybe he'd rather have the money of the go fund me? How do any of us know she didn't have social services in her life? Also, just because she's married, does not mean that the kids she has are biologically related to her husband. If you look at their ages, there could be 3 biological fathers with the youngest being her husbands. If that's the case, depending on who would get custody of the other 4, we may hear about lawsuits from whoever gets custody of those kids.
Those of you saying, she was being responsible, do you really believe that? We're in a pandemic with COVID. It's especially bad in California, she has at least one kid at home, a 1 year old, who did not qualify for the vaccine. Is it really being responsible going out like that to possibly bring COVID back to her house, husband and kids?
i actually thought of the Covid situation but didn't even go there. Many people, particularly people with children are not doing things like having parties because of Covid.
None of us know what type of parent she or her husband were or are. We know nothing. We also know nothing about their marriage. For all we know, this may be the worst that's ever happened to him, or maybe he'd rather have the money of the go fund me? How do any of us know she didn't have social services in her life? Also, just because she's married, does not mean that the kids she has are biologically related to her husband. If you look at their ages, there could be 3 biological fathers with the youngest being her husbands. If that's the case, depending on who would get custody of the other 4, we may hear about lawsuits from whoever gets custody of those kids.
Those of you saying, she was being responsible, do you really believe that? We're in a pandemic with COVID. It's especially bad in California, she has at least one kid at home, a 1 year old, who did not qualify for the vaccine. Is it really being responsible going out like that to possibly bring COVID back to her house, husband and kids?
When I was her age, I had 2 kids, I didn't go bar hopping, that was my early 20's after being legal to drink. Almost 30 my youngest was 2. I was just starting my nights and weekend job at Caldors. If we drank, we did so at home.
I'm confident that if they had any issues with child services or it would have come out. When a person is thrust into public view they are also subject to public scrutiny. From all appearances, photos, testimonials and interview with her husband it appears they we good parents and had a good marriage.
Why does it matter if all the kids are biologically related to both of them. I read 5 kids collectively so I would assume the are a blended family. Are you suggesting that people put less or nothing into parenting children that dont carry their DNA.
Here you are telling me we know nothing and imagining there are 3 baby daddies who will fight for custody and sue.
Some of use arent living as hermits due to Covid. We still go to work, shop, and go out. Our kids go to school.
what you did as a young mother is irrelevant. She was not bar hopping, she was celebrating her 30th birthday. Yes, on a party bus which was a gift from her husband. A party bus which IMO is responsible because there is no need to be in a position to drive if you are drinking and you arent drinking in front of your children.
I'm confident that if they had any issues with child services or it would have come out. When a person is thrust into public view they are also subject to public scrutiny. From all appearances, photos, testimonials and interview with her husband it appears they we good parents and had a good marriage.
Why does it matter if all the kids are biologically related to both of them. I read 5 kids collectively so I would assume the are a blended family. Are you suggesting that people put less or nothing into parenting children that dont carry their DNA.
Here you are telling me we know nothing and imagining there are 3 baby daddies who will fight for custody and sue.
Some of use arent living as hermits due to Covid. We still go to work, shop, and go out. Our kids go to school.
what you did as a young mother is irrelevant. She was not bar hopping, she was celebrating her 30th birthday. Yes, on a party bus which was a gift from her husband. A party bus which IMO is responsible because there is no need to be in a position to drive if you are drinking and you arent drinking in front of your children.
I'm not sure why you keep trying to convince everyone that what she did was perfectly fine? No one is saying she was an awful mother and deserved this but I and others here seem to think it's up for debate on whether a mother of 5 should be out drinking at 3am. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. Again, if she had not died none of this would even be discussed...but if someone started a thread about, do you think it's a wise decision for a woman with 5 small children to go out on a party bus drinking while driving down the highway dancing I would say again say no.
I'm not sure why you keep trying to convince everyone that what she did was perfectly fine? No one is saying she was an awful mother and deserved this but I and others here seem to think it's up for debate on whether a mother of 5 should be out drinking at 3am. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. Again, if she had not died none of this would even be discussed...but if someone started a thread about, do you think it's a wise decision for a woman with 5 small children to go out on a party bus drinking while driving down the highway dancing I would say again say no.
And if she had died at 3pm driving home from the grocery store with a cake and ice-cream and a couple bottles of wine for her birthday to be celebrated at home with her kids, no one would question her death, or drinking and most likely the number of kids.
My post you responded to was not to convince anyone of anything. The poster I responded to brought into
question if they were good parents, if they had a good marriage, and even the children's parentage. I was stating what I know to be facts and/or what I would consider from the information given for drawing conclusions about the family.
I really dont care if you or others think it is morally wrong for a mother to go out, to be out late or to drink or have 5 kids. I dont personally see anything wrong with what she did. There was a freak accident. Freak accidents and just plain accidents, involving alcohol, or not, regardless of time of day happen all the time and take lives.
Right I think the thing that’s interesting is that hind sight of course she should have stayed home! I’m sure the Boston cop i posted about in another thread and his girlfriend who ran him over with her car wishes she stayed home too.
Statistically the odds of dying on the way to the grocery store dwarf the odds of dying on a party bus, anyway. But no one would be judging her for a car accident even though the choice to drive to the store is a risky one comparatively.
I'm not sure why you keep trying to convince everyone that what she did was perfectly fine? No one is saying she was an awful mother and deserved this but I and others here seem to think it's up for debate on whether a mother of 5 should be out drinking at 3am. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. Again, if she had not died none of this would even be discussed...but if someone started a thread about, do you think it's a wise decision for a woman with 5 small children to go out on a party bus drinking while driving down the highway dancing I would say again say no.
I'd still like to know if you think it would be okay for a couple to leave the kids with grandparents and go to Sandals or something to celebrate a 10th anniversary, and drink while they are on that vacation. If so, what is the difference between that and this?
Statistically the odds of dying on the way to the grocery store dwarf the odds of dying on a party bus, anyway. But no one would be judging her for a car accident even though the choice to drive to the store is a risky one comparatively.
Exactly. I know three mothers who died in car accidents leaving behind small children. One was some 20 years ago, a friend of mine, at 40 she had recently had a child, she died driving home due to snowy road conditions, leaving behind an infant. One was my cousin, driving home at night from work. A deer jumped out in front of her car and she hit a guard rail. She left behind two little girls. One was this past year. A girl my son briefly dated years ago, I knew the family. She was driving home from the store and had a car accident. She left behind two little boys.
Maybe mothers should not work or leave the house.
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