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I'm not sure of the book you're reading, but it sounds like What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen?
I brought up Maddy's story further up the thread and posted what her suicide note read after the family decided to release it a year after her death. One correction though, she was attending the University of Pennsylvania (Ivy League) in Philly and NOT Penn State, which is in State College, PA, many people not familiar with the schools get those two confused.
Not that this couldn't happen to someone at Penn State, but the competitiveness at UPenn and all Ivy League schools is off the chart, and sadly UPenn does experience suicides each year by students. I read Philly.com almost every day and followed her story when it happened back in 2014, long before the book came out. For Maddy, it seemed like she became "obsessed" with that Ivy League school education, where it sort became her death sentence, from the pressure she placed on herself.
Obviously hindsight is 20/20, and we will never know, but what if she went to a state school instead, one with less pressure and competitiveness, she was thinking about attending UNC-Chapel Hill at one point, would she still be alive today?
On a side note, her father, James Holleran, died back in 2020 at the age of 59 after being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and ultimately had to have his colon removed.
Yes, that is the book. Ah yes, UPenn, not Penn State. Right, you do have to wonder if she had gone on to a less competitive school if it could have eased her internal torment. She kept saying to people that she just wanted to enjoy her time at UPenn and explore new things beyond being an athlete. Her coach convinced her to stay on the team a bit longer with a modified schedule to give her a little more time to decide. She seemed tormented at the idea of quitting the team, letting others down, and possibly losing her identity as an athlete. Athleticism was a huge aspect of her family's life. Her mother worked at a tennis club and the siblings grew up incredibly immersed in youth sports.
That is similar in ways to Cheslie Kryst's background. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, her mother has some videos posted online and it is very evident that athletics and high achievement were a very main, central focus of the family. In addition to athletics, Cheslie of course competed very hard, very determined in pageantry, academics, and law (competitions for debate, legal arguing, etc) . That is A LOT of competing and achieving in a young life and definitely there can be a shadow aspect, underbelly dark side to all of that.
Everyone can put whatever spin they want on this (which is more about themselves than the topic person here). The bottom line is depression. End of story.
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Originally Posted by Wile E. Coyote
Everyone can put whatever spin they want on this (which is more about themselves than the topic person here). The bottom line is depression. End of story.
Some ppl have posted about their own struggles with depression, suicidal ideation or ppl they know. That’s a super positive “spin” on it IMO….because current event threads like this^^ get ppl talking about mental illness & suicide AND may save a life. That would be a good “end of the story”.
Some ppl have posted about their own struggles with depression, suicidal ideation or ppl they know. That’s a super positive “spin” on it IMO….because current event threads like this^^ get ppl talking about mental illness & suicide AND may save a life. That would be a good “end of the story”.
This is too true. My depression has always been mostly numbness. I don't feel much of anything when al I want to do is to feel something. It's not sadness. Sadness is fleeting. You can work through sadness. Depression is often debilitating. It's staying in bed all day behind a closed door just wanting to shutthe world out. But then sometimes you have to go out, so you work on your fake smile and go out into the world. You're a great actor because most of the time no one realizes the depths of your despair. You work hard to pull the con on people, but then when you do, you begin to hate yourself and them as well.
I don't believe things can never get worse. Stop telling that to people. When I was going through my medical scare six years ago, people always told me that. "Well, things can only get better from here." Then I would need another amputation. No matter how bad things are, they can always get worse. That's my life advice to folks. Besides, people going through disasters can never see it when you say it and they certainly don't want to hear it.
Suicidal thoughts make perfect sense to the person having them. They will never make sense to those of you who have never never had them. I still battle these thoughts almost daily. I have lost friends and lost contact with family members because my depression has been a dark cloud that hovers over me and those I come into contact with. I used to be able to laugh and smile. Now I just lurk in the shadows and keep to myself.
I fully understand what these folks who have been taking their lives lately are going through. It's not fun
Ah yes, numbness. I've experienced that first hand by my beloved family member. He was numb to everything. That was really hard to experience for me. At first, I thought he no longer loved anyone or anything. As I learned and researched depression, I realized that it wasn't about *me* at all. But it was very hard at first to deal with because you constantly think that it was something that you've done.
And you're so right. Suicidal thoughts make perfect sense. The truth is we are outsiders. We will never understand. I admit that this pandemic has made me dive into dark spaces but thankfully depression has not taken hold. Yet. I am very very grateful for that. It is a battle, and for the depressive person every day is a battle. I've learned to appreciate one day at time, instead of worrying about the next, or weeks from now.
I don't know you, but I am a close person to someone who I love who is clinically depressed. There were times that I felt pushed away because the depression had a tight grip. But I've refused to go away and instead learn from it, learn not to push too hard, learn not to draw away. Learn to be there if and when he needs it. I wish you nothing but the best, each day. One day at a time.
I like a good murder mystery. I not am sure about hard to trace though. The building, I am sure, have cameras. The entrance/lobby probably has security people. I can't find any motives for taking her own life though.
I worry much more about the heartbroken people suicide victims leave behind.. not only are they grieving but blaming themselves for not seeing what was going on beforehand... its actually quite selfish when so much hurt and sadness left behind.. I went through a terrible time many years ago and wanted to leave the world but I had young children to care for and made me think differently.. of course were not all the same and its so sad for any young person to take their lives..
It is sad, its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Although I still think its foolish to just ASSUME, killing themselves, will somehow end their suffering or make things better. (not from a religious standpoint either), that is quite the assumption to make! For all we know, our 'conscious self', COULD remain in our physical bodies! (imagine killing yourself over depression, only to find out 'YOU' are still 'YOU', but now your body is dead, and un usable, you cannot communicate with anyone else, or do anything.
The motivation that helped facilitate her success might have also drove towards suicide. Something doesn't quite fit here but if constantly striving to achieve goals, wins etc can lead to disappointments that would still be a win for most.
The motivation that helped facilitate her success might have also drove towards suicide. Something doesn't quite fit here but if constantly striving to achieve goals, wins etc can lead to disappointments that would still be a win for most.
RIP
Very true,, I just feel for those left behind who must feel some sort of guilt..
The motivation that helped facilitate her success might have also drove towards suicide. Something doesn't quite fit here but if constantly striving to achieve goals, wins etc can lead to disappointments that would still be a win for most.
RIP
She felt a lot of pressure to succeed on a number of fronts, and couldn't deal with it, it sounds like. And in addition to that, she was getting flack from internet trolls. It's too bad she couldn't just ignore the static from the internet.
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Some ppl have posted about their own struggles with depression, suicidal ideation or ppl they know. That’s a super positive “spin” on it IMO….because current event threads like this^^ get ppl talking about mental illness & suicide AND may save a life. That would be a good “end of the story”.
