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But I would imagine that a 3 year old trapped alone in a hot car like that would be making some noise. I'm always shocked that no one ever seems to hear them.
I have a solution to this problem. It's called a paddle leash. It's a bungee cord with two velcro loops (one large, one small) on either end. I use it to attach my kayaking paddle to my boat so it doesn't float away if I capsize, but it can also be used to attach your wrist to the child car seat behind you. Or, if you don't want to spend ten bucks at a sporting goods store for one of these, use a string. Tie one end to the car seat and the other end to your wrist, your car keys, or your phone.
You'll never forget it again.
Someone should market this idea and make a million dollars (and also save lives).
I can kind of understand getting out of the car and going in but there is no picture on the desk or anything else to remind dad for hours and hours?
If you've ever read that great WashPo article on the psychology of hot car deaths, a lot of times this happens when there's a break in routine. So the dad isn't usually the one who brings the kid in the morning, and his mind goes on autopilot thinking of what he needs to do once he gets inside. So his brain believes all day that the kid is where they're supposed to be.
If you've ever read that great WashPo article on the psychology of hot car deaths, a lot of times this happens when there's a break in routine. So the dad isn't usually the one who brings the kid in the morning, and his mind goes on autopilot thinking of what he needs to do once he gets inside. So his brain believes all day that the kid is where they're supposed to be.
If anybody is interested, this is the piece fleetiebelle is referring to above. It's a very well written and heartbreaking account of how and why something like this happens and what the repercussions are. If I'm not mistaken, I think this article won a Pulitzer Prize. It's a pretty long, but worthwhile, read.
And one change I made when my first child was born, was to start putting my purse on the the floorboard of the backseat directly behind me. That way, I always had to reach all the way around and make an effort to get to it, and it brought my head and eyes to the backseat.
If anybody is interested, this is the piece fleetiebelle is referring to above. It's a very well written and heartbreaking account of how and why something like this happens and what the repercussions are. If I'm not mistaken, I think this article won a Pulitzer Prize. It's a pretty long, but worthwhile, read.
And one change I made when my first child was born, was to start putting my purse on the the floorboard of the backseat directly behind me. That way, I always had to reach all the way around and make an effort to get to it, and it brought my head and eyes to the backseat.
I used to place my toothbrush directly on my birth control pills so I wouldn't forget to take them.
And every single time, they are wrong. Given the exactly right (or wrong) set of circumstances, you too could have accidentally left a child in the car. Just thank God, or your lucky stars, or whatever you believe in, that that never happened and you didn't experience this particular tragedy.
I cannot agree with this. Some people just have different habits. My work bag is always in the backseat on the floor. It's something I have always done, even before I had kids. There is no way I am going to exit my car without reaching into the backseat, or opening the back door.
I back into parking spaces. I'm going to see my kid(s) during this process.
Do schools/daycares not call/notify parents when the child is late or absent? If my kids are as much as 15 minutes late, I get an automated call and voicemail, as well as an e-mail, indicating that my child is late or absent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot
I myself have a child who, as a preschooler, nearly drowned while I was sitting nearby. Thank God, I saw him in time, and he is fine, but it still haunts me. Probably a lot of people would judge me for that, and say it could never have happened to them.
Not the same. No one is expected to have their eyes on their child 24/7. Children (especially toddlers) can be sneaky. It's not hard for a kid to climb out onto a pool deck, slip and fall into the water. And all it takes is a few seconds for things to turn tragic. Forgetting about a child in a car for HOURS is not the same at all as losing sight of a child, at home, for a few seconds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
If you've ever read that great WashPo article on the psychology of hot car deaths, a lot of times this happens when there's a break in routine. So the dad isn't usually the one who brings the kid in the morning, and his mind goes on autopilot thinking of what he needs to do once he gets inside. So his brain believes all day that the kid is where they're supposed to be.
Now this is something I can understand, for people who operate on "autopilot" and follow strict routines. Although wouldn't a break in said routine (dropping kid off at daycare/school when you normally don't) completely cancel this autopilot mode?
Last edited by Arcenal813; 07-19-2022 at 01:31 PM..
If you've ever read that great WashPo article on the psychology of hot car deaths, a lot of times this happens when there's a break in routine. So the dad isn't usually the one who brings the kid in the morning, and his mind goes on autopilot thinking of what he needs to do once he gets inside. So his brain believes all day that the kid is where they're supposed to be.
I've read that article and I think it makes some excellent points.
But a break in routine, at least for me, involves me thinking much more about the steps that I need to take. I'm not on autopilot doing the same old, same old.
That's why it's so odd to me that you could pick up your child, pack their lunch, buckle them in their car seat and not be thinking - well I'll need to factor in extra time to stop by the daycare and I'll need to take this specific route to get there, etc.
If you need a visual reminder, why not just put the child's diaper bag next to you on your passenger side front seat?
It's not like you are running shirts through the drive thru at the dry cleaner - there are lots of extra steps that you'll be taking to drop a child off.
It's like the people who take a baby shopping with them and then "forget" to bring them inside the house. What??? Yet, that happens, too.
And every single time, they are wrong. Given the exactly right (or wrong) set of circumstances, you too could have accidentally left a child in the car. Just thank God, or your lucky stars, or whatever you believe in, that that never happened and you didn't experience this particular tragedy.
I myself have a child who, as a preschooler, nearly drowned while I was sitting nearby. Thank God, I saw him in time, and he is fine, but it still haunts me. Probably a lot of people would judge me for that, and say it could never have happened to them.
My mom and dad had 5 kids, and we're all stair step in age. They never left one of us in a hot car. HOWEVER:
1. We were all traveling to grandparents in another state. We stopped at a hotel. One of my sisters is being a whiny toddler while my mom and dad are trying to get us all ready to leave the next morning. My mom sets my sister on one of the beds and tells her "DON'T YOU MOVE AND DON'T MAKE ANOTHER SOUND!" So my sister sat on that bed quiet as a mouse, and my parents finished packing everything and everybody up, and was getting ready to leave the parking lot when a maid came out and politely told my parents that she thought we left someone behind. My mom turns around and does a quick headcount, and says "no...we're OK" And then she does a headcount again, and remembers about my sister.
My mom was mortified.
Another time, my mom was washing windows, and watching all us kids and neighbor kids playing in the back yard. She hears a knock on the front door, goes to answer it, and there's a man holding a baby, at the door. The man rather angrily says "Is this your baby??" My mom looks at the baby, and sure enough, it's my sister. (Not the same one.) My sister had crawled out the door, and out to the street, and was sitting in the middle of the street eating a pine cone.
ANOTHER time, my brother, who was about 18 months old, decided to take himself for a walk. Police were called, the whole neighborhood was out looking for him. Finally, someone about 1/2 a mile away found him, sitting in the grass in their back yard.
And when I was a little kid, like 5 and 6, I used to get up way before everyone else on a Saturday or Sunday, and go take a walk around the neighborhood. In my pajamas. I always felt like I was up before everyone in the world. LOL I didn't tell my mom about that until I was 40 something years old. Again...she was mortified. LOL
I always felt like my mom was perfect, and could do no wrong. I always thought I had the best mother ever. But...stuff happens.
Oh! I remember one more story! One time, my dad (who collected coins) decided to go to the coin shop, and took my 2 sisters with him. He gave them both a couple of dollars, and told them to go next door to the 5 and dime, and buy themselves something, and then wait for him to come get them to go home.
Well, my dad forgot about my sisters and just came home when he was done with his business. My mom was busy getting dinner ready, and just assumed the girls went to their room. Well, soon enough, they realized that my dad had forgotten about the girls...and soon after, my sisters got home, crying and scared because they had walked home in the dark. My dad was mortified that time.
I can kind of understand getting out of the car and going in but there is no picture on the desk or anything else to remind dad for hours and hours?
That's not going to work reliably either. "Decor" (items you don't need to use, move, or handle) you look at all day every day becomes "background noise". Your conscious mind ceases to see it. Its yet another sort of mental autopilot unfortunately.
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