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I've posted on the Dallas forum a couple of months ago regarding a move I was going to make. I recently lost my job here in Indianapolis and have been unemployed for going on 4 months. Prior to losing my job I had some run-ins with the law (2 DUI's within 6 months to be specific) in 2012-2013. I can't make any excuses for them, I was just a very irresponsible and impulsive 22 year old. When I got charged with my second DUI I had just found out that my long-distance girlfriend and I were expecting. To make a long story short, she moved here in the summer of 2013 so I could be apart of our (now 6 month old) daughters life. As I dealt with my legal and addiction issues, I held a couple of retail jobs, went to school, and finally was able to land a position with a hospital that I had been seeking for almost a year. I was grateful that I was given the opportunity to work there despite having 2 DUI charges with one being a felony. That dream came crashing down 2 months after being hired. I was fired due to attendance issues. Again, I don't want to come off as someone that makes excuses, but my license was suspended at the time and Indianapolis transportation is sporadic and unreliable. I made every effort to be at my job on time, but it wasn't enough. Shortly before our daughter was born and I was hired at the hospital, I moved out of my parents house. I got a separate apartment from my girlfriend to appease my Pastor parents. After losing my job, she had me move in with her and we found someone to sublease my place. While I've been a great help to her around the apartment and with our daughter, financially it's draining her. I interviewed for a position at a hospital in Dallas and got the job offer, but it was rescinded upon discovery of my felony (which was disclosed during the interviewing process). That was last month. A friend of mine recently moved to Dallas from Indy and has a decent paying job. He got me in touch with his boss and we discussed me moving down there. I would be staying with my friend and contributing. I would be doing contract work and the pay would be more than enough to financially assist my girlfriend and our daughter for the time being. My girlfriend and I are suffocating because of bills, and she's encouraged me to go down there at least temporarily until I can find something back up north. My parents are encouraging me to move back home with them. The only thing is, they don't know about my job loss. My pride won't allow me to tell them, and it's no one else's responsibility to take care of a grown man with a child of his own. I'm planning on taking a bus to Dallas next week, but I'm starting to get cold feet. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm trying my best to keep my cool regarding the situation, but it's difficult
I've posted on the Dallas forum a couple of months ago regarding a move I was going to make. I recently lost my job here in Indianapolis and have been unemployed for going on 4 months. Prior to losing my job I had some run-ins with the law (2 DUI's within 6 months to be specific) in 2012-2013. I can't make any excuses for them, I was just a very irresponsible and impulsive 22 year old.
When I got charged with my second DUI I had just found out that my long-distance girlfriend and I were expecting. To make a long story short, she moved here in the summer of 2013 so I could be apart of our (now 6 month old) daughters life. As I dealt with my legal and addiction issues, I held a couple of retail jobs, went to school, and finally was able to land a position with a hospital that I had been seeking for almost a year. I was grateful that I was given the opportunity to work there despite having 2 DUI charges with one being a felony. That dream came crashing down 2 months after being hired. I was fired due to attendance issues. Again, I don't want to come off as someone that makes excuses, but my license was suspended at the time and Indianapolis transportation is sporadic and unreliable. I made every effort to be at my job on time, but it wasn't enough.
So what makes you think that you'll get your act together in Dallas? No employer will keep you around if you're out drinking all night and can't show up to work on time. Especially not a hospital!
Shortly before our daughter was born and I was hired at the hospital, I moved out of my parents house. I got a separate apartment from my girlfriend to appease my Pastor parents. After losing my job, she had me move in with her and we found someone to sublease my place. While I've been a great help to her around the apartment and with our daughter, financially it's draining her.
Baloney! All of this should be a sign that you're not responsible enough to live on your own. You lost your job, lied to your parents, and can't support your family.
I interviewed for a position at a hospital in Dallas and got the job offer, but it was rescinded upon discovery of my felony (which was disclosed during the interviewing process). That was last month. A friend of mine recently moved to Dallas from Indy and has a decent paying job. He got me in touch with his boss and we discussed me moving down there. I would be staying with my friend and contributing. I would be doing contract work and the pay would be more than enough to financially assist my girlfriend and our daughter for the time being. My girlfriend and I are suffocating because of bills, and she's encouraged me to go down there at least temporarily until I can find something back up north.
Exactly, no descent paying position is so desperate to fill jobs that they're going to hire out of state felons. What are you going to do once this contract is up? You need a better plan, and you need to make better long term goals.
My parents are encouraging me to move back home with them. The only thing is, they don't know about my job loss. My pride won't allow me to tell them, and it's no one else's responsibility to take care of a grown man with a child of his own. I'm planning on taking a bus to Dallas next week, but I'm starting to get cold feet. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm trying my best to keep my cool regarding the situation, but it's difficult
Move back home! You have cold feet because you're making irrational decisions. See if your parents can get you job leads through church connections. You'll waste too much money moving here, and regret it.
1. Learn paragraphs and possession; your writing style is nauseating.
2. You've had a good-bit of self-caused drama. As a drinker myself....are you drinking a good bit most days? Two DUIs and a lost job due to no shows or tardiness in a short time period strongly points toward self-inflicted destructive behavior.
3. IMO you need to reassess while looking forward. If you really love your kiddo stop acting a fool and work tirelessly every day to make things better for her. If you can't see that working get out of her life except to send her child support. Kids don't need weak, Quisling and unreliable fathers.
I can't tell you whether to show up here or not but do not expect good things to happen when you appear. A key difference between doers and dreamers is that doers act knowing it's a long slog requiring focus, a plan, pig-headed determination and usually a driving purpose beyond one's self. Dreamers tend to expect good things to happen because they show-up.
Move back home! You have cold feet because you're making irrational decisions. See if your parents can get you job leads through church connections. You'll waste too much money moving here, and regret it.
Who said anything about me losing my job due to my drinking? I had transportation issues. The last time I had a drink was when I got my second DUI, which was over a year ago.
1. Learn paragraphs and possession; your writing style is nauseating.
2. You've had a good-bit of self-caused drama. As a drinker myself....are you drinking a good bit most days? Two DUIs and a lost job due to no shows or tardiness in a short time period strongly points toward self-inflicted destructive behavior.
3. IMO you need to reassess while looking forward. If you really love your kiddo stop acting a fool and work tirelessly every day to make things better for her. If you can't see that working get out of her life except to send her child support. Kids don't need weak, Quisling and unreliable fathers.
I can't tell you whether to show up here or not but do not expect good things to happen when you appear. A key difference between doers and dreamers is that doers act knowing it's a long slog requiring focus, a plan, pig-headed determination and usually a driving purpose beyond one's self. Dreamers tend to expect good things to happen because they show-up.
Sorry about that, I had wrote this post from my phone.
My wounds are mostly self-inflicted, I can admit. I haven't been drinking in over a year. I made a commitment to stop drinking and I've stuck to it. From the time I got my DUI to by daughters arrival, I successfully completed my rehab program, went back to school, and had a full-time job all while on house arrest. I took my commitment seriously and tried to get myself into a good position for when my daughter was born.
I finally got my dream job at the hospital about a month after she was born, but my license was suspended and it was extremely difficult and expensive to find transportation. I did the best that I could. I did not lose my job because I was deliberately not showing up for work or being negligent. It certainly was not because I was out partying the night before. I take my role as a father seriously. Providing for my family is my top priority. My father was active in my life and provided for me so why would I give my daughter any less?
I don't have any illusions or high expectations for when I go to Dallas. I'll literally be crashing on a friends couch and going to work so I can get a check and send some money back home. It's going to be rough, I know that. The past two years have been rough. All I'm trying to do is correct my past mistakes and create a better life for myself and my daughter.
Sorry about that, I had wrote this post from my phone.
My wounds are mostly self-inflicted, I can admit. I haven't been drinking in over a year. I made a commitment to stop drinking and I've stuck to it. From the time I got my DUI to by daughters arrival, I successfully completed my rehab program, went back to school, and had a full-time job all while on house arrest. I took my commitment seriously and tried to get myself into a good position for when my daughter was born.
I finally got my dream job at the hospital about a month after she was born, but my license was suspended and it was extremely difficult and expensive to find transportation. I did the best that I could. I did not lose my job because I was deliberately not showing up for work or being negligent. It certainly was not because I was out partying the night before. I take my role as a father seriously. Providing for my family is my top priority. My father was active in my life and provided for me so why would I give my daughter any less?
I don't have any illusions or high expectations for when I go to Dallas. I'll literally be crashing on a friends couch and going to work so I can get a check and send some money back home. It's going to be rough, I know that. The past two years have been rough. All I'm trying to do is correct my past mistakes and create a better life for myself and my daughter.
Ok, you have a good shot.
Here's my advice. Grab a pen, notebook, lawn chair and sit under a shade tree, phone off, for two hours. Map out 1, 2, 3, 5 and 10 year plans. Focus on what you need to accomplish in order to give your daughter her best chance at a stable home, a good education and a father who is reliable, decent and worth having around in the broad sense.
Primers for your plan:
1. Treat your job as if your baby's life depends upon it.
2. Take a second job or scrounge around for extra hours at your regular gig.
3. Position yourself as the guy who takes on the crappy jobs and gets them done quickly and well and be the person your supervisor leans on in a pinch. Make your boss look great every time. Don't watch the clock. Do little things off the clock.
4. Broadly, the economy here is excellent. However, you control your destiny not this town not the president etc.
5. Your 10 year plan should be lofty.
Here's my advice. Grab a pen, notebook, lawn chair and sit under a shade tree, phone off, for two hours. Map out 1, 2, 3, 5 and 10 year plans. Focus on what you need to accomplish in order to give your daughter her best chance at a stable home, a good education and a father who is reliable, decent and worth having around in the broad sense.
Primers for your plan:
1. Treat your job as if your baby's life depends upon it.
2. Take a second job or scrounge around for extra hours at your regular gig.
3. Position yourself as the guy who takes on the crappy jobs and gets them done quickly and well and be the person your supervisor leans on in a pinch. Make your boss look great every time. Don't watch the clock. Do little things off the clock.
4. Broadly, the economy here is excellent. However, you control your destiny not this town not the president etc.
5. Your 10 year plan should be lofty.
Primers for your plan:
1. Treat your job as if your baby's life depends upon it.
2. Take a second job or scrounge around for extra hours at your regular gig.
3. Position yourself as the guy who takes on the crappy jobs and gets them done quickly and well and be the person your supervisor leans on in a pinch. Make your boss look great every time. Don't watch the clock. Do little things off the clock.
4. Broadly, the economy here is excellent. However, you control your destiny not this town not the president etc.
5. Your 10 year plan should be lofty.
Good luck.
I would only add to point #3, from experience on both sides of the manager's desk - figure out what the "problems" are (there are always problems), offer up real solutions, then volunteer to implement them.
Too many clock punchers who are quick to criticize / complain but never lift a finger to fix things. This is a sure way to stand out from the crowd and eventually move to better places. Plus, it expands your experience, adding to your value to the employer.
I would only add to point #3, from experience on both sides of the manager's desk - figure out what the "problems" are (there are always problems), offer up real solutions, then volunteer to implement them.
Too many clock punchers who are quick to criticize / complain but never lift a finger to fix things. This is a sure way to stand out from the crowd and eventually move to better places. Plus, it expands your experience, adding to your value to the employer.
Good call.
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