Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Best of luck to him. I have a few friends married to neurosurgeons (in and out of training). It's a tough specialty.
Thanks. He really hammered the Step-1 test that bumped his confidence and he already somewhat cocky. His advisor, a doc. in his 50s, is also encouraging him to reach for NS, derm, ENT surgery etc. His other strong interest is concussions/head injuries but the normal progression into that area as you know is a neurology residency and then one of a very few head injury fellowships. He's worried about being stuck in general neurology which is does not particularly like. Next is allergies which poses similar issues.
Another factor is his bride to be is at BCOM, she wants to be an ortho-surgeon or an ENT surgeon. I just don't know how they will be able to make their marriage work if they both work silly surgeon hours in ultra-demanding specialties.
IIRC your hubby is knee deep in a residency..........good luck to him and you.
Wow! As an 8th grader I also spent my summer watching TV (Dukes of Hazzard), playing video games (space invaders) and playing soccer with my friends and didn't become a physician. You must have done something different.
Maybe a 7th/8th grader needs a summer vacation? Plenty of time remains to keep one's nose to the grindstone (15-18 years of college thru residency, plus 30 years of career).
Socialization and early physical fitness kind of need to occur at the points in life when the child is receptive to those. Although technology, knowledge, etc., have advanced dramatically, psychological and physical development still progress at the pace they did 30,000 years ago; those templates were set way back when. Loose unstructured time spent with one's peers as well as those older and younger is extremely important to personality development, but seems to get short shrift these days.
Maybe a 7th/8th grader needs a summer vacation? Plenty of time remains to keep one's nose to the grindstone (15-18 years of college thru residency, plus 30 years of career).
Socialization and early physical fitness kind of need to occur at the points in life when the child is receptive to those. Although technology, knowledge, etc., have advanced dramatically, psychological and physical development still progress at the pace they did 30,000 years ago; those templates were set way back when. Loose unstructured time spent with one's peers as well as those older and younger is extremely important to personality development, but seems to get short shrift these days.
The programs above are a few days long. They don't last all summer.
Maybe a 7th/8th grader needs a summer vacation? Plenty of time remains to keep one's nose to the grindstone (15-18 years of college thru residency, plus 30 years of career).
Socialization and early physical fitness kind of need to occur at the points in life when the child is receptive to those. Although technology, knowledge, etc., have advanced dramatically, psychological and physical development still progress at the pace they did 30,000 years ago; those templates were set way back when. Loose unstructured time spent with one's peers as well as those older and younger is extremely important to personality development, but seems to get short shrift these days.
This is definitely true, but a little time here and there to explore things doesn't hurt. I did some program or another that basically shadowed what it's like to be an architect for a few days. I found out that architects mostly design boring things like hospital waiting rooms and schools. So I figured out I didn't actually have any interest in being an architect. That I moved on to wanting to be a lawyer just shows how bad my decision making was (luckily, I gave that one up before applying to law school).
Thanks. He really hammered the Step-1 test that bumped his confidence and he already somewhat cocky. His advisor, a doc. in his 50s, is also encouraging him to reach for NS, derm, ENT surgery etc. His other strong interest is concussions/head injuries but the normal progression into that area as you know is a neurology residency and then one of a very few head injury fellowships. He's worried about being stuck in general neurology which is does not particularly like. Next is allergies which poses similar issues.
Another factor is his bride to be is at BCOM, she wants to be an ortho-surgeon or an ENT surgeon. I just don't know how they will be able to make their marriage work if they both work silly surgeon hours in ultra-demanding specialties.
IIRC your hubby is knee deep in a residency..........good luck to him and you.
I'm sure they've talked a lot about it, but they need to discuss life with kids if they want them. I just lost my OBGyn due to her crazy schedule, and her ER doc husband's crazy schedule and their desire to have another child in addition to the 3 year old who cries now whenever she sees one of them in scrubs. She's thought scaling back her practice would work but babies are still unpredictable arrivals in many cases.
Thanks. He really hammered the Step-1 test that bumped his confidence and he already somewhat cocky. His advisor, a doc. in his 50s, is also encouraging him to reach for NS, derm, ENT surgery etc. His other strong interest is concussions/head injuries but the normal progression into that area as you know is a neurology residency and then one of a very few head injury fellowships. He's worried about being stuck in general neurology which is does not particularly like. Next is allergies which poses similar issues.
Another factor is his bride to be is at BCOM, she wants to be an ortho-surgeon or an ENT surgeon. I just don't know how they will be able to make their marriage work if they both work silly surgeon hours in ultra-demanding specialties.
IIRC your hubby is knee deep in a residency..........good luck to him and you.
Oy...yes that is going to be a challenge. I'm not even sure couples matching is going to be possible given how competitive all of the specialties mentioned are to match in solo--even with the best credentials. They are very much looking at the possibility of spending the first 5-7 years of marriage apart if they are dead set on those paths. I'm not sure how kids could ever really fit into that picture either. Of the couples I know in the surgical field, one ALWAYS had to pull back or give up their career for the other--my in laws included. Kids definitely push the issue more, but even without them...
Yes, my husband is in radiology. After intern year, it isn't bad at all! FWIW, while he loves it and it was his #1 choice, lifestyle was a big driver of his choice. He experienced the two doctor household firsthand and all the ups and downs that come with it.
Oy...yes that is going to be a challenge. I'm not even sure couples matching is going to be possible given how competitive all of the specialties mentioned are to match in solo--even with the best credentials. They are very much looking at the possibility of spending the first 5-7 years of marriage apart if they are dead set on those paths. I'm not sure how kids could ever really fit into that picture either. Of the couples I know in the surgical field, one ALWAYS had to pull back or give up their career for the other--my in laws included. Kids definitely push the issue more, but even without them...
Yes, my husband is in radiology. After intern year, it isn't bad at all! FWIW, while he loves it and it was his #1 choice, lifestyle was a big driver of his choice. He experienced the two doctor household firsthand and all the ups and downs that come with it.
But a bit off topic!
I know people who made it work w/ 3 years being apart due to differing specialties (Pittsburgh and Houston then Pittsburgh and Denver). They managed to have 2 children during that time as well. It wasn't easy, and they had a lot of help from grandparents who were way too nice to say no (and wealthy enough to afford very frequent plane tickets from Austin where the grandparents live to where the grandchild was living at the time).
I know people who made it work w/ 3 years being apart due to differing specialties (Pittsburgh and Houston then Pittsburgh and Denver). They managed to have 2 children during that time as well. It wasn't easy, and they had a lot of help from grandparents who were way too nice to say no (and wealthy enough to afford very frequent plane tickets from Austin where the grandparents live to where the grandchild was living at the time).
My in laws did this for two years, but it wasn't easy on their marriage or the kids they had at the time. Those scars never fully healed.
But we aren't talking 2-3 years. Neurosurgery is 7 years and ENT & Ortho are 5, before fellowships. They are looking at 5 to 7 years apart minimum if they do not match in the same city. It is very very difficult to match in ENT, Ortho, and Neurosurgery as a well qualified applicant going through the match on their own. If they couple's match, the chances of them not matching together or someone not matching at all is significant enough to worry about.
Even if they do match in the same city, they are looking at minimum 80 hour weeks (that's the limit, but it is common knowledge that you work closer to 100 in surgical residencies) on different schedules for years at a time. Quality time together is going to be very limited. Some surgical programs like to boast of their "divorce rate" being over 90%. :/
I guess what I'm trying to say is the odds are stacked against them. To be blunt, there is almost no chance of one or both of them making it out unscathed in some way or another.
Actually--there was a med student a few years in Houston (cant remember if it was Baylor or UT Houston) that was married to another med student. They both wanted to do surgery. They had a child in Year 4 and I believe the female ended up choosing not to pursue residency at all--the reality of what having a child meant hit her, I guess. She was the sister of a friend of ours here.
In reality though, as much as anyone wants to tell them that, they aren't going to listen. They are young, ambitious, smart, and in love. They believe "their love will go the distance" when the reality is more along the lines of "they will have to go the distance for their love to survive." Unfortunately, those lessons are normally learned too late! EDS, I do truly hope they are the exception. (But I want to scream at them DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF AND EACH OTHER!!!)
My in laws did this for two years, but it wasn't easy on their marriage or the kids they had at the time. Those scars never fully healed.
But we aren't talking 2-3 years. Neurosurgery is 7 years and ENT & Ortho are 5, before fellowships. They are looking at 5 to 7 years apart minimum if they do not match in the same city. It is very very difficult to match in ENT, Ortho, and Neurosurgery as a well qualified applicant going through the match on their own. If they couple's match, the chances of them not matching together or someone not matching at all is significant enough to worry about.
Even if they do match in the same city, they are looking at minimum 80 hour weeks (that's the limit, but it is common knowledge that you work closer to 100 in surgical residencies) on different schedules for years at a time. Quality time together is going to be very limited. Some surgical programs like to boast of their "divorce rate" being over 90%. :/
I guess what I'm trying to say is the odds are stacked against them. To be blunt, there is almost no chance of one or both of them making it out unscathed in some way or another.
Actually--there was a med student a few years in Houston (cant remember if it was Baylor or UT Houston) that was married to another med student. They both wanted to do surgery. They had a child in Year 4 and I believe the female ended up choosing not to pursue residency at all--the reality of what having a child meant hit her, I guess. She was the sister of a friend of ours here.
In reality though, as much as anyone wants to tell them that, they aren't going to listen. They are young, ambitious, smart, and in love. They believe "their love will go the distance" when the reality is more along the lines of "they will have to go the distance for their love to survive." Unfortunately, those lessons are normally learned too late! EDS, I do truly hope they are the exception. (But I want to scream at them DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF AND EACH OTHER!!!)
We have some married friends in central Texas, he's a head and neck surgeon and she's an ER/trauma surgeon who met in med. school, now have kids and have made it work. So my son's point is, "if they can do it.......". But you are right if they both go into super tough/long residencies their long term chances are slim IMO.
I think they are coming around to the notion that he should go for neurosurgery, ENT or similar with an eye towards one of the UT affiliated residencies (UTSW, UTHSC-Houston and UTHSC-San Antonio) according to my son's advisor and her advisor at BCOM if he gets into any of these programs she will receive some level of extra-consideration the next year. Another thing that will help is her resume and academic credentials are spectacular.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She's thought scaling back her practice would work but babies are still unpredictable arrivals in many cases.
