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I am so worried. First off, my child has just started in the public schools. I was looking forward to being involved with his teacher and the class. I was told this week by the school that I would only be allowed to do office work and the specific teacher does not allow any volunteers to work with the children. In addition, the teacher is very inexperienced and I am already getting some bad vibes coming home. She is the only one in the classroom with those kids, how am I assured she isn't sort of psycho? We are just to believe that a college degree, a few months teaching with someone else and passing a background check = positive role model, appropriate with children, a person I trust with my child 40 hours a week? We were sent home a flier this week regarding an afterschool science program and when I asked her about it she replied, "oh, it's kind of a waste of time and money, but our school gets a kick back?" My son was really excited about it and then she says that?
I would really love for someone to calm my nerves on this one. My (much older) child went through Plano schools in the 90's and we were always involved in the classroom with her and with the teachers throughout grammar school.
Last edited by Worried'n'FRISCO; 08-31-2007 at 09:26 PM..
I am taking it that this is either your first child to enter school, or your only child. Perhaps it is just your own anxiety of letting your "baby" go. School is that first big step of growing up. Your child is fine, you however in all honestly may want to seek some counseling. Let your child grow, learn, and have some independence. If you shelter him/her forever the kid will grow up to be a socially inept.
This is NEITHER my only child or first child. You can gather that tidbit by actually reading my first post. I am hoping my child is fine. "I am taking it" you are one of those people that blindly trust institutions. Whoa. Big mistake in my book.
I'm not sure you will get the answer you want from me. I'm a mother of a kindergarten student and an educator. I get the feel you want to be in the classroom a lot. Honestly that is really not in the best interest for your child much less others in the room. Kids at this age often have difficulty splitting from moms and dads, especially if they have not had much experience being away from them. Learning/procedural activities need to be uninterupted. Parents often come into the room and then the children can not stay focused on what is occurring around them. Believe it or not the atmosphere changes and kids get out of sync. Nothing against parents, it is just natural for this to occur. If you give it a few moments I think you will see what I'm trying to say. Teachers need to establish trust with the students and create learning environments, if Mom is there then they go to mom for questions and so forth before going to the teacher. I know you mean well but honestly I don't think the school is trying to keep you uninvolved they just want your child and other children to have optimal learning time.
May I suggest you go to your district student service building and ask them for some info. on parenting styles. Our district does an excellent presentation on these styles. I can't recall the exact name for this training at this moment, but it involves info. on "helicopter" parents etc. It is eye opening and it helped me to understand myself as a parent and educator.
You can still do things around the school that will allow you to stay involved and believe it or not you will be able to see just as much in these roles as you would in the class.
As for helping the students... it is a matter of privacy and confidentiality. Also, in most cases you must have a criminal background check in order to work with children in the public school system.
As for the teacher even if she is new... you've only been in school for a week. Give this teacher a chance. She isn't the one that makes the rules regarding parents working in the room. That is usually a principal decision or district decision. Many of the new teachers coming out of school these days are very well trained in comparison to when I came out of college.
I guarantee you, your child's teacher is not pscho. A district of Frisco's quality would not let this happen. Yes, you hear stories in the news but honestly there are far more good ,solid,healthy citizens in the teaching profession, than those that have made the news.
Please just take a deep breath and enjoy your child this year. Kindergarten is special and if you let your own fears get in the way of your child's school year, you will have lost out on a whole year of positive experiences your child could of had. Your child will feed off your fears and I know you wouldn't want that for your child. You sound like a parent that wants the best for your child. I bet if you just slowed down you could have this and maybe even more. Join PTA ... there are lots of positive ways to get involved in the school.
This is NEITHER my only child or first child. You can gather that tidbit by actually reading my first post. I am hoping my child is fine. "I am taking it" you are one of those people that blindly trust institutions. Whoa. Big mistake in my book.
look its not like they hired some idiot off the street to teach your kid. there is a 99.999% chance that everything is fine. Teachers undergo a battery of tests, exams, and certification before they even step foot in a classroom with children.
Is there any valid reason for your concern? Or is it just because you get a bad vibe? If your child seem to be acting unusual, try and talk to them ans see whats going on. Maybe they are nervous or scared its a big step to take. Perhaps there maybe another student that your child does not get a long with.
Anyways I wasn't trying to be mean, you just seemed to be worrying about nothing. If you really feel something is wrong then talk to the school administrators, or FISD authorities. Being a concerned, involved parent is good, being a "helicopter parent" is bad.
You can still do things around the school that will allow you to stay involved and believe it or not you will be able to see just as much in these roles as you would in the class.
I could not agree with you more which is why I am SO up there from Tuesday forward. I won't find out as fast what I am after, but I will find out what I need to in time.
As for helping the students... it is a matter of privacy and confidentiality. Also, in most cases you must have a criminal background check in order to work with children in the public school system.
I have already done the criminal background check.
Join PTA ... there are lots of positive ways to get involved in the school.[/quote]
Already done that, too.
BTW, even in Frisco, there are mistakes when it comes to hiring. I also think our school is the least of concern from the ADMIN building.
Worried'n Frisco,
I'm not trying to be argumentative. However, I have to say being at the school every day from Tuesday on, isn't the answer. In all due respect, I think you are trying to find something wrong where there isn't anything. I honestly don't think you will find happiness at this school as long as you are out to get someone and that seems the case here.
As for the criminal background check... you may have it, but that doesn't exactly give you the right to live in a classroom and potentially ruin a teacher's career because of your own insecurities. Sorry, but I just read so much resentment in your posts. No one is perfect... not even a parent.
I work in a top of the line district and school. We have A+ teachers and teachers that need some seasoning. I hope to God we never give up on those teachers. One of my first year teachers a few years back was very quite and not very dynamic around parents. I wish you could see her now after 3 years. She has grown into a top notch teacher that parents have grown to love and respect. If we had given up on her back then we would of lost out on her ability to enrich those around her, both students and parents.
WorriedNFrisco--Would you want this teacher to make a snap judgement about your child's ability based on one week of school in a new class and new environment--would you want the teacher going to the principal and diagnostician requesting testing for learning disabilities or deciding that your child has ADHD because he or she is excited and boisterous and has difficulty paying attention because he/she is enthralled OR perhaps your child is shy and confused and feels overwhelmed--is a day-dreamer because of having a rich imagination which some kids do--would you want the teacher to decide he is a "problem" because he has to be refocused and refocused to the activity at hand
lots of things to learn the first weeks of school---you would not want the teacher to rush to judgement--so why are you---and you are not EVEN IN the classroom---no two teachers teach the same way even when they follow the same curricula--so relax and watch and learn if your child is happy, interested, and learning...
definitely agree that if you volunteer in the work room you will see/hear enough to have pulse on school---but much os what passes through there is GOSSIP not intelligence--so don't give too much credence to what you hear from people you may not know at all--and being able to pass the criminal background check does not entitle you to be on a level playing field with teachers necessarily--it just means you are not a recognized threat to others---
parents do not need to be in classroom--I don't know of any school in our district that allows PARENT VOLUNTEERS to be in classroom on a daily basis as some sort of unpaid aide...it is not good policy or good teaching or good parenting--kids need space where they develop outside their parents' sphere/influence...it is called spreading their wings and they have to do it to learn to leave the nest sometime in the future...
if you feel so strongly about what she said that denegrated the science after-school program, you need to have a discussion with the teacher and the principal about her attitude---BUT STOP AND THINK--as a parent and former teacher I think what she says sounds like something very likely true--and she was maybe being a little to casual and naive in revealing it to you--you would not want her to have that same lax, unprofessional attitude and discuss another child's behavior or family problems in her "I-am-speaking-to-you-as-an-equal" voice---YOU aren't her EQUAL and SHE is not YOURS--she is a teacher and your child's teacher in particular and you are a parent and each position has specific standards that are better kept than broken...whatever her PERSONAL opinion of that after-school program is, she needs to be very careful about revealing it in such a casual way...being professional to people who are older than they are (and I assume that you are older by a bit than this teacher) is something younger teachers have real difficulty in doing--they are intimidated often by the age difference and they know they are new teachers--they do feel self-conscious about that newness...
there were after-school programs that came to my children's schools where the district (or teachers involved) did receive compensation--my son went on a 6th grade trip to NYC and Washington, DC where the teachers' trip costs were probably covered by how many kids they chaparoned...there were music programs that we paid for that came during school as special events...kids could have survived without seeing or doing any of them...but they liked them and certainly liked getting out of class...some of them the PTA paid for or subsidized as an enrichment activity ...each district/school varies in what is acceptable/allowed
the kids might have enjoyed whatever it was but that does not necessarily mean that missing it compromised their learning...It sounded to me more like the program was something where the cost might be higher than the educational value--so what if your son was excited--most kids would be excited to see volcanos explode or anything flashy--many kids like the idea of doing "experiments"... I don't know the specifics...if you can afford it and he wants to do it (and the teacher is not teaching it)--then do it, simple as that...
I would worry more about her IN-CLASS enthusiasm and how comfortable your child is with that attitude--if you say things that color your child's perception you are going to taint how he feels about the teacher--setting up a hostile environment--that can only go downhill...
DON"T SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT THAT TEACHER WHILE YOUR CHILD IS AWAKE--Be careful what and how much you question your child about the class's activities and attitudes----that can reveal your hostility even to a young child... something you say on the phone, to your husband, to yourself, even, can reveal that you don't like that teacher and believe me that puts your child in a tenuous situation---
if your child has been liking the teacher then he feels caught in the middle--he wants to please two important people in his life but now he is having HIS judgement questioned (my mom does not like her--I was wrong to like her), and he could even show that negativity in class by being rude, disruptive, or confrontational....who would that help...
don't foul your nest--unless you plan on moving to new school zone, if you start out so early in the year criticizing this teacher for some pretty unfounded impressions of her ability---YOU are the one that will come off as lacking credibility and being a drama queen---it will be a hostile environment from then on out...
I am not saying that you should never voice concerns to the teacher or the administration---but you have to be careful about how and when you make your concerns known--doing it this early in the year over something so tenuous will work to your disadvantage---and what do you want to achieve--do you want a new teacher or for the teacher to display a different temprament -- would you want this teacher or any teacher to tell you that YOUR child needs to display a different temprement to succeed?
did you have a teacher in mind for your child and then not get that teacher?
Many children and parents are disappointed to discover who the teacher is when class assignments are posted -- sometimes a grade level has one particular teacher that everyone wants--does not mean the other teachers are dog meat-- some children are exactly the same way--they don't always shine unless you know them...
I would think and bite my tongue before I started down what could become a very slippery slope--your intentions are to HELP your child--don't do something that will inadvertently hurt him instead...
Last edited by loves2read; 09-01-2007 at 06:20 AM..
Well, my son has had two psycho teachers - kinder and 2nd grade.
With the kinder teacher it was just as you described, WorriednFrisco. I knew within a couple of days there was a problem or might be a problem because it's really shocking to the system to realize your child may be in a bad place that is advertised as a good place. I started making a list of my concerns because one second I would think, "This woman is a psycho" and the next second I would think, "No, give it time. The lady is nice." By the two week mark I knew it wasn't my imagination. It took me 6 more weeks to get the balls to withdraw him from that school as my list of concerns grew. And of course it turns out I wasn't the only concerned parent, but I just wanted out of there. I was mad. This was actually a private Christian school. The teacher was later transferred into work in the office.
The 2nd grade teacher was in public school. Again, from the get-go there were little things here and there that happened, but really, most of it involved other kids and not so much my kid, so I blew it off because no one is perfect and the lady was nice. Then parents started withdrawing their kids from school, demanding transfers out of her class. I grew concerned and tapped into the stay at home mom network (I worked) and learned all kinds of really ugly bad things were going on in that classroom, but was being kept on the down low. The teacher was put on temporary leave, The Dallas Morning News ran an article and she was fired. Only after The Dallas Morning News ran an article, mind you, was she fired. Not because the district felt like it was in the best interests of the kids to dismiss the teacher who was obviously having psychological problems.
So, my friend, I hear you. One of the interesting things to come out of these experiences for me was more than half of parents and teachers DO NOT want to believe anything bad can happen in any classroom. They just don't think it's possible and so no matter what you say, they poo-poo you and say you are overreacting. The school administration's number one goal is to protect the reputation of the school, the district, their own jobs and their teachers. That's it. They will sweep things under the rug, make deals with parents in exchange for their silence, down play things, refuse to answer questions, blow parents off, lie.
Whoa now... some of you need to a grip on life. Calling people "psycho" just because you don't get your way is way over the top. "Psycho" is such a harsh word. Accusing people of sweeping things under the rug and blowing parents off is ridiculous. I've worked for many admin people in my 20+ years experience as an educator. Some of which were better than others. All though had a passion for what they did and all placed children at the top of their ladder of priorities. Some of you will never realize or understand what it is like to run a school with 500 + kids. Take a moment and think about how many parents principals have to deal with and how many different situations arise. Principals can never please everyone. It is not fair to expect them to do so. My own principal has been at work every night until 10:00 or after trying to make sure the school is operating to it's fullest potential. A principal quite honestly doesn't get paid enough for what they do. Imagine dealing with 500 kids, 500 parents(at least), 40 teachers, 20 other staff members, and community. Then there is the TAKS test, Special Educ. laws, 504 laws, budget, etc.
Some of you must live and breathe for your children . How sad! Your children deserve better. They need your positive guidance. They need you guys to support but not hover over them. They need you to work with and not against your schools. You might find that most administrators and teachers will relate to you better when you don't come in the door with "I'm going to get you attitudes." This is just human nature. People put up their defenses when they are talked to in demeaning and attacking ways. It doesn't matter who they are.
I just ask that you guys think about what you are saying and step back and look at yourself in the mirror. Do you really want your child to live in a world of hate or distrust? I don't think you do. But, in all honestly from what I've read, I have to wonder if there is ever a moment of peace for your children. I hope so.
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