gay man in desperate need of advice (Denver, Fort Collins: apartment, rent)

[nyc1641]

Hi and thank you to whoever is reading this.

I am a middle-aged gay man, unattached and lonely. I live in Durham at the moment, but not happy here, so anyone's advice or suggestion would be outmost appreciated.

Nothing is going on in Durham for me. I used to live in New York, where you can walk out in the middle of Tuesday night and find something to do, people to talk to. Even though, people are friendly here, most are young and have families, which makes me feel "over-the-hill" which I am not.

I must get out, but am afraid to make a mistake and move to a city that is more of the same. So, here I am asking anyone who would care to suggest or comment. I will appreciate any input.

What I am looking for in a city:

1.gay friendly
2. things to do
3. liveable
4. friendly.
5. decent economy
6. culture tolerance-I'm born in Europe
7 happy people:-)
8. intellectually oriented crowd


Please do respond.. would love your feedback. even if what I am looking does not exist

Thank you,

S

[lurtsman]

While I think Denver meets those qualifications, I fear we have very different levels of demand for "things to do". I would have thought Durham would have plenty and to me NYC would be unbearable, therefore my idea that Denver has things to do but isn't unbearably busy may mean that it doesn't have near enough to do from your perspective.

[SkyDog77]

Check this recent thread: //www.city-data.com/forum/denve...r-atlanta.html

As far as things to do, Denver is far better than Durham in the city, but NYC or Chicago it is not. A lot of social interaction here is based around activity. Are you in to hiking, biking, etc?

The city is young and vibrant. We have a strong gay community. You should visit and see if the city feels alive enough for you.

[ALStafford]

nyc, how do you define "things to do"? What sort of things do you like doing? I moved to the Denver area from Raleigh NC about 18 months ago, and to respond to your questions, I can offer this:

1. Denver is a very live-and-let-live place. I would consider it gay friendly, without question. I find people care more about the content of one's character than focusing on stereotypes, whether those be sexual orientation, race, gender, etc.
2. If you can define what kinds of things to do you'd like to do, we can definitely help you, but need more input from you to be specific.
3. Liveable--again, what you mean by this will drive this answer. It is expensive, without question. In NC, I rented a 3-br, 1800 sq. ft. house on a 1/4 acre for $1600/mo. I'm currently in a 2-BR, 1100 sq ft apartment (in a nice, safe walking community) for the same price. Be prepared for this. But that's perhaps not what you mean by livable...if you mean weather, or access to public transportation, or enough grocery stores, or whatever, let us know.
4. Friendly is a definite yes! I lived in NC for 10 years, I moved there from Nebraska. In those 10 years, I was never able to make friends like I have here in Denver in 18 months.
5. Yes, we have a strong economy. That also tends to make things expensive.
6. Refer back to point 1.
7. Yes, people seem happy. Except people that set themselves up for long commutes. Then they are not happy. Keep this in mind if you look more at Denver. Find a job, then find a place to live close to there. Keep commutes short if you can.
8. I'm not sure what this means, but there are multiple institutions of higher learning all along the front range, and in the Denver area. So there is a large number of well educated people.

I strongly recommend coming to Denver to visit. If possible, plan to stay several days. Rent a car and drive all over the metro area (always keep in mind if you're facing mountains, you're facing west...helps you keep from getting too lost). There are all kinds of little neighborhoods with their own feel, their own vibe/shops/restaurants/things to do, so check out several and see if any offer what you're looking for.

[Miss Hepburn]

You will LOVE Denver!
I've been to several gay bars there...lotso fun!!
Capital District.
Live and let live there.

Fried pickles at Cheeky Monk are the best...sorry off topic...well,
all their food there is fabulous!

[nyc1641]

Thank you so much for such quick responses!

"Things to do"-book reading groups, meditations, dancing, libraries, volleyball for beginners-intermediate, friends to go to see movies with". Starbucks open after 11 pm

I am not looking for New York's sense of "things to do". But when I try to find something to do at 11 pm on saturday night, I am out of luck in Durham.

Thank you again.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by nyc1641

Thank you so much for such quick responses!

"Things to do"-book reading groups, meditations, dancing, libraries, volleyball for beginners-intermediate, friends to go to see movies with". Starbucks open after 11 pm

I am not looking for New York's sense of "things to do". But when I try to find something to do at 11 pm on saturday night, I am out of luck in Durham.

Thank you again.

Yes, I know Durham/Chapel Hills bec of doing research*, going there...moving from NYC
many years ago trying to decide, myself...I am outside of Denver now.

Can you fly there for a weekend? You WILL move there!
Ha, from Durham? I'll say.
It is a very exciting town and MANY areas hidden away with
shops, cafes, Art galleries...all over the place tucked away....not just the Downtown fun area.
Then you have the plus of Boulder, 30 min away!
And Fort Collins on a Summer Festival night...watch out!
Lots of Yoga, Buddhists, biking, seminars, New age talks, and the Museums!
It's an educated area.

* Get it...Research Triangle? Haha

[davebarnes]

You should visit.
South Broadway, LoDo, LoHi, Capitol Hill at night. After 2200.

[Mike from back east]

Originally Posted by nyc1641

....I am a middle-aged gay man, unattached and lonely. I live in Durham .....

I think we've found the problem.

Denver is the place to check out.

[Dreaming of Hawaii]

OP, just wondering why you moved to Durham? I assume for a job. What kind if work would you be looking for in Denver?

I haven't been to Durham in a very long time, but I could certainly understand the let-down after living in NYC!