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Salads I don't eat as side dishes. I eat them as meals. I used to eat them as side dishes, but then I discovered how delicious they are when you add protein to them (such as a half can of tuna, or hummus, or grilled chicken breast).
There's no law that says you can't grill two chicken breasts, slice one up on your salad, and serve the other to your husband. You say you want to simplify your meal preparation, yet you're fretting about such small details, and in the process making more work for yourself. If you're so inflexible, you're just going to have to make two meals every night.
Last edited by Ohiogirl81; 06-26-2010 at 09:11 PM..
Reason: a nudge from the Punctuation Police
Not helpful, and wine, once opened, has a shelf life even in the fridge. Once it goes past that time, it turns to vinegar. Sherry especially has a very short shelf life of less than a couple of weeks. A bottle of cooking sherry will hold for several months. Considering that I don't drink wine, that'd mean I would need to go through several bottles of regular sherry in the same amount of time I would use up a single bottle of cooking sherry. And also considering that I only use a capful once a week, or even less frequent, the amount of sodium is negiligible.
Not sure if this should be posted in "relationships" or here in 'Diet And Weight Loss', since the two are directly intertwined. Nevertheless, I'll give it a shot here as a quick glance at the post subject lines might draw more advice here.
Point blank:
What DO (or can) I do to get the lady motivated?
There's no nice way to say this. She's blown up like a balloon. In the last year to eighteen months, she's probably packed on anywhere from 20 to 40 pounds (she refuses to tell me her actual weight. But when I look at her now versus pictures of her even two or three years ago, she's gained. A lot).
She knows it, she sees it. She doesn't like me taking pictures of her. She gets depressed and at times angry and resentful about it. Yet she refuses to do anything about it. Her "solution" is to just keep buying bigger and bigger clothes. But then she gets upset about that too. And to try and get her to don a bathing suit and lay poolside? Not happening.
I've tried doing numerous things to try and help including diet suggestions (which I try and stick to myself). I got her a gym club membership. Almost a year ago. She went maybe five times and now is down to perhaps once a month. If that. I bought her a Wii fit console and program. I had to dust it off and change out the batteries. I suggested that she join me for a brisk walk a few evenings a week, especially now that it's summertime. She gave up on that after exactly one try; she got cranky and fussy saying that 'she couldn't keep up with my longer legs'. I've been trying to buy bikes to go riding, but she's been dodging that purchase for six months with one reason or another: "We are short this month and our electric bill is up", "what about that landscaping?" "What about the barbecue grill"?
Ad nauseum, ad infinitum.
Bottom line: she's become a couch potato. She never goes to the gym or uses her Wii. But she sure as hell never misses an episode of "Bones", "Dancing With The Stars", and "Biggest Loser". I pointed out the irony of the last choice and she just had daggers for me.
So I'm out of ideas. What do I do? Her mother is a wreck physically, no doubt as a result of decades of self neglect. With the cacaphony of issues plaguing her, you'd think that my woman would be scared stupid and doing everything in her power to avoid becoming her mother. Yet she's plowing full steam ahead to do just that.
Now it's affecting me and getting my morale down. Not just her appearance, which is a relatively superficial item in the grand scheme of things. But her attitude really stinks and now our sex life is at a standstill because I look at her (as her husband no less) and right now, I just can't. That's how bad it's gotten. We are both 36 years of age.
What could be some of the underlying reasons for this?
Depression comes to my mind as the first likely culprit, being that we bought a new house in a new town a year ago and we moved into an area where she started with no friends and separated from hers as well as the only geographic area she's ever known. Add to that a new job, and I can see how that much new is bound to be some bricks on her back. I don't begrudge her for that, but we agreed to it before signing the docs and she knew where she was going (having brought her up several times to get acquainted with the area) and what she was doing. So at some point, that excuse will no longer be valid. Especially since she's rebuffed every single one of my suggestions to go out for drives, social gatherings, church, bars, everything.
What do I do?
You cannot fix people. They must fix themselves. You have no control over her actions. Only yours. I think that you need to maintain good communications and not act critical or accusatory. She can only work on this when she is ready to. Love her in the mean time.
Maybe some counseling will help her. Suggest it. Go with her. Be supportive. Maybe in a little while she will work through her emotions and be the girl you married again. I hope so.
I agree that your constant badgering of her is just as likely her reason for resisting weight loss as any other reason.
My SO at first was constantly on my case to get in the gym and get fit. I let it ride until it got to the point that I just could not take it any more and told him he made me feel like **** about myself because he was constantly reminding me how I was not what he wanted me to be. It is so counter productive.
Once he realized it and left me alone, things were much better. I did it on my terms and it is progressing comfortably. You really can't make anyone do anything.
Make her feel loved, and, hopefully, she will learn to love herself as well.
Not helpful, and wine, once opened, has a shelf life even in the fridge. Once it goes past that time, it turns to vinegar. Sherry especially has a very short shelf life of less than a couple of weeks. A bottle of cooking sherry will hold for several months. Considering that I don't drink wine, that'd mean I would need to go through several bottles of regular sherry in the same amount of time I would use up a single bottle of cooking sherry. And also considering that I only use a capful once a week, or even less frequent, the amount of sodium is negiligible.
I'm not surprised that you are no longer the sommelier then. According to your own link, which is just a summary of other links, ONE source says sherries will keep almost indefinitely because they are oxidized in the cask. All the other sources state very clearly that ALL wines have shelf life, and begin to go flat the moment you uncork them and will continue going flat until they're flat, and every time you pull the cork out you are speeding up the process.
I'm not surprised that you are no longer the sommelier then. According to your own link, which is just a summary of other links, ONE source says sherries will keep almost indefinitely because they are oxidized in the cask. All the other sources state very clearly that ALL wines have shelf life, and begin to go flat the moment you uncork them and will continue going flat until they're flat, and every time you pull the cork out you are speeding up the process.
I was never a sommelier, and I knew that.
The first part of the link referred to sherries in particular, I suppose you are taking things out of context just to be cranky?
Read this; KEEPING LEFTOVER SHERRY
A full bottle of Sherry, a fortified wine with an alcohol content typically ranging from 16 to 20 percent, is really too much of a portion for an individual or even a couple to handle in a sitting. So it's no surprise that the most frequently asked question about Sherry is, "How long can I keep it once I've opened the bottle?"
I wish there was a simple answer, but the correct response is, "It depends." Exposure to air causes quick deterioration in wine, but Sherry - like its cousin Madeira - is naturally oxidized, so additional exposure to oxygen isn't as harmful to most Sherries as it is to table wines. Alcoholic fortification also helps preserve it.
This comes right off the wine lovers site.
BTW, thanks for the personal attack.
Your posts seem to indicate that you dont accept advice well, or perhaps you just dont like people, IDK.
I agree with Lao on this one. Honestly the OP should probably drop her ASAP. If she can't be bothered to care about herself now, at 36, imagine what she is going to be like at 40.
I agree with Lao on this one. Honestly the OP should probably drop her ASAP. If she can't be bothered to care about herself now, at 36, imagine what she is going to be like at 40.
So you just drop someone cause they are depressed and gained weight?! How bout if you (the op) make it about her HEALTH and not her appearance. Facts are facts and being too fat is not healthy. Get into an exercise program with her. Hire a personal trainer.
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How cold!
