Very depressed after losing weight (weight loss, pounds, running, lose)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I always thought losing weight and getting into better shape would help me to feel good about myself. I never imagined it would have the opposite effect. I'm in much better shape now, but I'm more depressed than I've been in a while. Back on an antidepressant after taking a lengthy break from meds, and this med doesn't seem to be helping any. Hard to find antidepressants that don't cause weight gain.
In the last year, I have lost 30 pounds through diet and exercise. I have a normal BMI, and have the body shape I had in high school (I'm 38 now). This should be cause to celebrate, yet I feel so ugly and unattractive. My wife tells me that I'm looking good and doing a great job with my fitness, but shows no sign of being sexually attracted to me. That hurts more than you could imagine. I honestly think I need to lose another 10 pounds. Maybe then she'll actually find me attractive.
I don't feel comfortable in my own body, despite outward appearances. To give a real 'for instance', I went to a women's 5K on Friday to support my wife who ran in it. As some of the runners looked at me, I could almost read this expression on their faces that they thought I was ugly and disgusting, even unfit for not running in the race.
I'm curious as to whether anyone has gone through a similar journey as me. Even with all the "support" I've received, I still feel very alone.
My wife tells me that I'm looking good and doing a great job with my fitness, but shows no sign of being sexually attracted to me.
I'm not an expert, but I have to say that if your spouse shows no sign of being sexually attracted to you, that's enough to make most people depressed right there. And if you lost the weight to hopefully get her to notice you again, in that way, and you've seen no improvement, then yeah, I can understand why you'd be depressed.
10 lbs. isn't going to make you any more attractive to her. Sounds like you need to drop 120 more and then get yourself a new wife. Amazing how much better a new relationship can make you feel.
Did you have a dysfuntional relationship with food????? It sounds like there is more going on than meets the eye??? Maybe you are dealing with a loss when it comes to your former relationship with food........and this is effecting you both physically and psychologically. Possibly the change in eating had an effect on the brains function (what it was used to) and it is producing various problems in your life????
if you lose weight to achieve "X" - whatever that x is - an improved relationship, or a better job, or whatever, and it doesnt come, its easy to get depressed. Hopes dashed. Thats why its so important to have realistic expectations. By losing weight you have improved your health, almost certainly. Everything else needs to be addressed on its own.
as an aside - I found that I checking my progress on the scale was a regular mood boost while I was losing. Now that ive hit goal, I have to find other things to do that. The loss of that reinforcement from steady loss is one reason people rebound.
Perhaps you can plan a surprise gettaway for both of you alone. Maybe you can recharge the fire from when you first met and originally got the attraction going for both of you. Or at least have a conversation about how you feel, how she feels...how you can make things work going forward. Sometimes thinking of kids, work, etc gets in the way of "who you really are." I say that in quotes b/c this is not the case in every person. Looks are not everything, so perhaps you both can start doing something together to get more things in common.
Have you and the wife sat down and you asked her what she thinks might improve sex for the both of you? That is a first step imho and it should give you an idea what's going on.
Next or better yet now, you need to find some things to do special for yourself so you'll feel better and really feel the progress you have made. Do you have a support group or friends for some moral support? I'm worried if you don't get to feeling better, the weight might not stay off. Please be careful with that.
I think getting in shape is a great first step in changes to improve your life but I think you may need to look further and see what other things you need to work on next to allow you to feel better inside now too.
My wife and I have talked about the intimacy issues. It all shows some signs for progress, but not as quickly as I would like to see.
I had often wondered if I'm having a hard time emotionally because my body chemistry is different. In more ways than one, I had grown accustomed to living an unhealthy lifestyle. Also, I no longer self-medicate with food so I'm forced to cope with problems in other ways.
I had often wondered if I'm having a hard time emotionally because my body chemistry is different. In more ways than one, I had grown accustomed to living an unhealthy lifestyle. Also, I no longer self-medicate with food so I'm forced to cope with problems in other ways.
Yup, losing 'emotional eating' is losing a coping resource, even if its not the most healthy coping resource.
Hint - I've found, on WW, it IS possible to "eat emotionally" and stay on plan. You just have to convince yourself that eating 20 pistachio nuts and a plum does for you what eating a giant bag of cheetos used to for you.
Sounds like your problems are more from a self-esteem and self-respect area than from anything to do with food or weight loss. This comment especially: As some of the runners looked at me, I could almost read this expression on their faces that they thought I was ugly and disgusting, even unfit for not running in the race.
Might be time to talk with a counselor.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
