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I have my annual pap smear/checkup the same month as my birthday - it's an easy way for me to remember to do it.
The year I turned 40 I had had a lot of health issues (related to female problems). I had gained a lot of weight and been pretty miserable the whole year. I went in and I weighed a little over 200 pounds, and felt fat, unattractive, puffy, pimply, and totally depressed. Is this how my life was going to be?
That year I had a hysterectomy and unlike many other women, and because the hysterectomy corrected a pretty serious disorder, I began LOSING weight rather than gaining it. I also started feeling better and began power walking for exercise.
About that same time, I found out my husband was having an affair - well, multiple affairs - well, multiple one night stands with strangers. Considering how sick I'd been and how terrible I'd looked and felt for several years, this was a double sort of blow. It made me even more determined to prove that he should have stuck around to help me finish the healing process.
Over the course of a year, I lost 40 pounds. I regained my health completely. I got divorced. Lo and behold, I found that there was no shortage of men wanting to date healthy middle aged women! At age 43, I married the love of my life! He is a man of much better character than my ex husband...and he's also a lot better looking! Nice side benefit. OH - and he makes a lot more money, so that's nice too.
Ten years later and I've kept nearly all that weight off and remained very healthy and active (I've gained about ten pounds over the past year because I tore my achilles tendon but that will come off as soon as I can start exercising again). And I'm still very happily married to my charming, funny, good natured, and HONEST husband.
By the way, in spite of my ten pound weight gain and my ankle surgery, and all the hassle of a blow to my health, not being able to run around like we usually do or do as many fun things due to my crutches, cast, ortho boot, etc - he's never said ONE disparaging remark...and I've never once worried about him cheating on me. He has been my rock! He's my hero!
Don't let anyone tell you you can't lose weight and keep it off. Just start moving more and cut back on your caloric intake. Those two things alone can start whittling away at your weight.
When the scaled went past the red line of 650 pounds I had no doubt the issues were beyond control.
So I rolled my big fat self out of the Doctors office and changed my entire lifestyle that day.
Fifteen years and 500 pounds later without surgery, pills, programs, fads or complete restriction I feel great, look great and don't worry too much about that last 20 pounds I really should lose.....
"a-ha" moment? I've had several...but not an "Oh my god I didn't know I was that fat, I saw myself in a mirror, or a photo of myself, or I broke a chair" kind of moment.
My 'a-ha"s have been MENTAL:
-- reading a 2001 book called "The 9 Truths About Weight Loss" -- the a-ha of the first realization or acceptance that this could be a struggle I have all my life
-- going to OA -- the "a-ha" of accepting that I have food issues...I LIKE FOOD, and I eat too much of it... for whatever reason...be they emotional reasons, food addiction, or food just TASTES GOOD, and for whatever reason I will eat past full.
-- accepting that I don't really WANT to have to do the extra work to eat well, limit how much I eat. I rather be able to eat what I want when I want, and not be overweight. But that's not reality.....so.....
That said, now I wonder if saying that I have food issues is accepting the reality of a truth -- or re-enforcing a negative that doesn't need to be re-enforced.
I TRY just repeating positive food affirmations (like):
-- I don't overeat, I only eat until full, I only eat when I'm hungry. heck even "I DON'T LIKE FOOD," -- anything I can to try to MENTALLY get me to not want to overeat.
But it's a constant mental struggle. I'm obsessed with my weight, losing weight, how much I eat, what I eat, etc.
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