The life of being married to someone who is not fat (stomach, buy)
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My 2 year old is constantly poking my belly and acting like its a bouncy ball, it kinda makes me sad.
That's directly related to your husband being an *******, and your kid is picking up on it. Is this really how you want your kids to be raised? Thinking that it's okay to make fun of people who are different than you?
Find your spine, girl, and dump that POS to the curb. He is dragging you down, and you don't even hear yourself? Talking yourself down? **** him. There are men out there who love their women at any size. He's not one of them.
He met me 7 years ago, and married for almost 5 years. When we first started dating, I already had plans to lose weight and I guess he was counting on that because he is the adventurous type. He likes to hike, travel, and anything that is nature related, but given my size sometimes its hard to keep up with him. He did tell me once that he adores my personality thats why he married me in the first place, but given my size there's been a lot of hand on things that we havent been able to do together or even as a family because I cant even climb up a flight of stairs without feeling short of breath...he has a point. For the sake of my kids, I dont want to be like this. My 2 year old is constantly poking my belly and acting like its a bouncy ball, it kinda makes me sad.
Ability to hike, hang out in nature etc is not related to your size. That is related to training and practice. If you like and want to do those things, start doing them. Practice more, do them more often and you'll get better as your conditioning improves.
It sounds like he isn't going to be happy no matter what you look like, he will find something to complain about. This extra baggage is bringing you down. You need to go to counseling now if you want to save your marriage.
If i lost 200 lbs, I will probably be long gone before then lol. I am currently 225, so if I lost that much I'd weigh less than my 2 year old.
To the other poster before you:
I was around 198 when I met him. My highest weight was 234, So I gained over 30 lbs in 7 years. I have no idea how I am 225 but still not shoppign in plus size because when I tell people (who havent seen me) that I wear size xl they build an image of someone who is 190 - 200 lbs.
I am working on it, but I honestly dont know if he really is offering support by looking out for me or if he's embarrassed by my arms. I hate making assumptions if I dont have definite proof because it may be wrong. I am not a mind reader, only he will know if he is embarrassed by me or not. So far, he keeps insisting that he is not embarrassed otherwise he wouldnt have married me, but he cant imagine me going on like this forever...its just unhealthy to be so fat (typical of how most thin people view fat people).
I think she meant 200 pounds = your husband.
You're stats don't paint you as heavy as you make yourself out to be unless you're 5ft tall or something. I also had arms that were not proportionate to my body and made me look heavier than I was, and didn't go down no matter how much I exercised so I had liposuction done on them, and now they look quite good (not saying you should do that, just letting you know you're not alone).
Personally I wouldn't stick around with a husband like that, he seems to just put you down. He shouldn't care what other people think of you as long as he thinks you're beautiful F* the rest of world.
I've never been good at judging sizes and weight you say
Quote:
I'm 220, size 20W and am 5'7" and I get shortness of breath. She's Asian so she might be shorter.
the OP says she's 225 and a size 16, XL.
I guess we'll never know how the OP feels about her weight INDEPENDENT of how her husband feels. Which came first was SHE feeling bad about her self....and he picked up on that. OR...was HIS attitude what fueled her self esteem issue.
OP which is it?
I've been a militant fat person at times. I own that I'm heavy. Yeah I have a fat belly -- what of it? But I also don't have anyone undermining my self-esteem either.....
Exactly. Her husband is doing a number on her, for sure.
A person with high self esteem to begin with would not end up with someone who undermines it. I would think the OP didn't have a high self esteem to start with, and her husband is just making it worse.
A person with high self esteem to begin with would not end up with someone who undermines it. I would think the OP didn't have a high self esteem to start with, and her husband is just making it worse.
Well, being overweight does that to you. But having a partner that disses you can really bang you up.
Ability to hike, hang out in nature etc is not related to your size. That is related to training and practice. If you like and want to do those things, start doing them. Practice more, do them more often and you'll get better as your conditioning improves.
It sounds like he isn't going to be happy no matter what you look like, he will find something to complain about. This extra baggage is bringing you down. You need to go to counseling now if you want to save your marriage.
This is true...it has more to do with how much exercise you get and the kind of shape you're in than your weight. I'm 260lbs right now, 5'4" and a size 20. We went to a museum two weeks ago which was an old aircraft carrier. There was no air conditioning in most of it, it was about 95 degrees, and you had to climb tons of stairs to access it, stairs which were more like steep ladders with very narrow treads. (my husband's idea of a vacation ) I have a bunch of hardware in one of my legs. I still managed to keep up with everyone...actually, my 10 year old got tired before I did. My legs were a little sore the next day, but nothing worse than the day after a new exercise.
I can ride my bike 30 miles without getting tired too.
If you want to be more able to do physical things, exercise. Join a gym, start with an exercise bike or walking on a treadmill, then start using the elliptical after that or work up to running on the treadmill. Then add some weight training. Or if you can't go to a gym, buy a used bike on Craigslist and ride it around your neighborhood a couple times a day (get a child seat or trailer for your little one if you don't have anyone to watch him while you ride) and buy a 10lb kettlebell and do 3 sets of 10 kettlebell swings a day.
You won't necessarily lose weight when you exercise. You'll find some parts of your body get firmer or smaller, but usually losing weight requires a change in eating habits.
About your upper arms, you can get little shrugs or thin short-sleeved shirts to cover that part of you, not because your husband talks about them but because they seem to bother you. My arms do not look very nice, partly because of the extra skin I've got from my weight loss. When I'm riding my bike or working in the yard, I don't care at all about my arms hanging out, but when I want to look more put-together, I usually wear a little shrug. Those shirts that leave your shoulders exposed but still have sleeves also look great on bigger arms.
Becoming more physically fit might give you more confidence in dealing with your husband.
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) I have a bunch of hardware in one of my legs. I still managed to keep up with everyone...actually, my 10 year old got tired before I did. My legs were a little sore the next day, but nothing worse than the day after a new exercise.
