Best ways to help my sister to lose weight (veggies, health issue, weight loss)
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I guess I just have to ready myself because she’ll be visiting soon actually and obviously I can’t do the usual, junk food dinner, dessert, candy, watch tv
Last edited by TeenSpirit; 02-03-2018 at 10:53 PM..
It’s only gotten worse, put on more weight, I tried talking to her but she’s deaf to it. Says she doesn’t want to come visit if I’m going to “ judge her” which I don’t
It’s only gotten worse, put on more weight, I tried talking to her but she’s deaf to it. Says she doesn’t want to come visit if I’m going to “ judge her” which I don’t
Well, these are my thoughts. I put on weight when I was young (9) due to stress eating. No one intervened then and stress/emotional eating became a habit. I've been overweight all my life. I've generally fluctuated in about a 10 pound range, but a couple times I've been higher and for short periods of time I've been lower.
I never needed anyone to point out my weight. Unless your sister is living under a rock, she doesn't either. She's likely to have an issue with emotional eating. When you're younger it's not like you can have a drink or afford to have massages for stress relief. But, food is readily available and temporarily allows you to forget your problems. The teen years are hard enough; she probably feels like she's constantly being judged. When you start receiving that judgement from your parents and siblings, it hurts. You feel like no one thinks you are good enough just as you are, not even your own family. It's a lonely feeling.
Practically speaking, if she's not ready to lose weight for herself, then I think you need to leave it alone. It's better for her health in the long run that she doesn't do a million yo-yo diets. If and when she's ready she will probably be more successful if she hasn't already put her body through all those ups and downs.
If/when she comes to for advice, then give it. In the meantime, tell your parents to stop buying crap. Don't eat crap around her. If your parents adopted a healthy lifestyle, even better.
At this point, I don’t think not saying anything is a good option, let’s say I don’t say anything, she gets bigger and bigger, eventually one morning she’ll wake up 300 pounds and getting it off will be more difficult, I mean, she’s already seriously overweight as it is, why let it get worse?
Obviously I’ll love her no matter what, but I’ll have to watch her struggle with her weight and worry about her more and more
At this point, I don’t think not saying anything is a good option, let’s say I don’t say anything, she gets bigger and bigger, eventually one morning she’ll wake up 300 pounds and getting it off will be more difficult, I mean, she’s already seriously overweight as it is, why let it get worse?
Obviously I’ll love her no matter what, but I’ll have to watch her struggle with her weight and worry about her more and more
Why is your sister's weight so important to you?
I have two sisters and they have never talked to me about my weight. If they seemed to have an issue with it then I'd probably just cut them out of my life. I don't need people who are supposed to care about me harping on it. Especially because they have never been overweight and done really understand it anyway.
I don't see why you are so hellbent on discussing your sister's weight. She's already basically told you she doesn't want to discuss it with you.
If you are embarrassed by her size then do her a favor and just don't talk to her anymore about anything. No one needs that kind of "support."
I agree with nikitakolata. She already knows she's overweight and she's told you she doesn't care at this point. Stop nagging her or she will just avoid you.
You said she ate due to stress (emotional eating). But here you are stressing her more. Where does she turn when she's stressed? To food. So nagging will likely only make her more overweight.
One thing that could help at this point is set a good example. Don't tell her you're doing it for her. Just do it. Ask your parents to do the same. If your sister questions you or her parents about the change, the answer should be that "I decided we should all eat better." Or "I just read an article that we should be eating 7 servings of fruit and vegtables per day and I realized that we're way below that so I bought vegetables." Or "I saw that the American Heart Assn says more than 9 tsp sugar per day is bad for your heart. We're getting older and I want to make sure your dad and I stay healthy so I'm not buying as many sweets." Make it about the family's health, and leave your sister's weight out of it. She doesn't need to be picked on by family, I'm sure she gets enough snide comments at school.
If she brings up being stressed again, you could try to guide her to a more effective way of dealing with it. She probably has a school counselor that she can talk to about whatever it is that is upsetting her. Exercise helps a lot, but at this point she'd probably get defensive if you suggested that. You'd have to couch it in a way that doesn't even hint at her weight. Maybe tell her when one of your friends gets gets upset he punches a bag while imagining the person or problem that he's upset with for half hour and he says it always makes him feel much better. You can buy punching bags at amazon for less than $100 so she wouldn't even have to go to a gym. She could put it in your old room at home.
I grew up overweight since 3rd grade, and was an emotional eater. I'm speaking to you as a person who has been through this. I got criticized for my weight and those jabs did not make me go on a diet. They just upset me and made me realize how mean people are.
I agree with nikitakolata. She already knows she's overweight and she's told you she doesn't care at this point. Stop nagging her or she will just avoid you.
You said she ate due to stress (emotional eating). But here you are stressing her more. Where does she turn when she's stressed? To food. So nagging will likely only make her more overweight.
One thing that could help at this point is set a good example. Don't tell her you're doing it for her. Just do it. Ask your parents to do the same. If your sister questions you or her parents about the change, the answer should be that "I decided we should all eat better." Or "I just read an article that we should be eating 7 servings of fruit and vegtables per day and I realized that we're way below that so I bought vegetables." Or "I saw that the American Heart Assn says more than 9 tsp sugar per day is bad for your heart. We're getting older and I want to make sure your dad and I stay healthy so I'm not buying as many sweets." Make it about the family's health, and leave your sister's weight out of it. She doesn't need to be picked on by family, I'm sure she gets enough snide comments at school.
If she brings up being stressed again, you could try to guide her to a more effective way of dealing with it. She probably has a school counselor that she can talk to about whatever it is that is upsetting her. Exercise helps a lot, but at this point she'd probably get defensive if you suggested that. You'd have to couch it in a way that doesn't even hint at her weight. Maybe tell her when one of your friends gets gets upset he punches a bag while imagining the person or problem that he's upset with for half hour and he says it always makes him feel much better. You can buy punching bags at amazon for less than $100 so she wouldn't even have to go to a gym. She could put it in your old room at home.
I grew up overweight since 3rd grade, and was an emotional eater. I'm speaking to you as a person who has been through this. I got criticized for my weight and those jabs did not make me go on a diet. They just upset me and made me realize how mean people are.
Exactly! I also put on weight in 3rd grade after we had a total loss house fire. The stress was enormous and no one was paying attention to how it impacted the kids. That's when I started using food to cope.
I don't know what the OP's deal is, but nagging an overweight person who already feels like crap doesn't help. It makes them want to eat more to cope with the pain/rejection. What might help is teaching her new ways of coping with stress, such as meditation and mindfulness. But, that has to be done carefully or it will still seem like a jab at her weight.
She’s my younger sister. She’s 15 and easily over 200 pounds. There’s not a lot I can do because I’m a college freshman and don’t live at home, but it seems like every time I see her she’s gotten bigger. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or ruin her visit. My parents for some reason, do nothing.
What can I do or say?
First thing you need to do is slap the sh*t out of your parents for enabling her and allowing her to get to such a dangerous weight at only 15 years old. When I was in high school, the BIGGEST dudes on the basketball and football team weighed in at 200 lbs (they were 6' 5" and 6' 6" tall).
Secondly, the WORST thing you can do is pretend not to notice or not say anything because of your feer of "hurting her feelings". Maybe a bit of tough love is what she needs. Just flat out tell her she's getting way too fat and needs to do something different. Also, raise hell with your parents because Im sure that 15 year old isnt feeding herself, she's eating whatever is in the house.
Oh, I see the OP is now a "Not a Member". Guess he was just another "former member" who returned with a new account and got banned again. People will never learn.
Getting her to walk, hike and or bike might be a struggle as she hates exercise
Bike with a purpose - bike to dinner or the movies. Take transit instead of driving. Try a yoga class together.
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