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I can understand why a partner might leave the other if they gain a significant amount of weight. I'm not saying I would, but if my husband put on 20lbs I'd be concerned. A lot of people let themselves go once they get married and then wonder why the other person isn't happy anymore (if that happens)
I'd be cranky as hell if I did that. I just can't walk around hungry all the time. I know, this is when someone comes prancing up and says you learn to not get hungry, but that doesn't apply to me. I think that OMAD thing might work for some, but it doesn't for everyone. When I get hungry, my blood sugar plummets, and I feel angry and mean.
I can understand why a partner might leave the other if they gain a significant amount of weight. I'm not saying I would, but if my husband put on 20lbs I'd be concerned. A lot of people let themselves go once they get married and then wonder why the other person isn't happy anymore (if that happens)
"Letting yourself go" seems like a very old-fashioned concept here, though. Theoretically, in a marriage, you've make a vow for better or for worse, but that doesn't mean that there are no repercussions or consequences to your actions. But that if your spouse gained some weight, you'd want to know that they were physically and mentally healthy, and that you'd try to help them out. Whether that's preparing and eating healthier food as a family or rearranging schedules so that workouts or doctor appointments are more possible, etc. Hopefully you'd do that before you'd just walk out the door because you're not as horny for them as you used to be.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 12-30-2020 at 01:03 PM..
OP, may I ask if you think there is some low grade depression going on here, especially with the drinking. It seems like you're concerned about the alcohol use. With the life disruption of covid, you're certainly not alone. I don't know that drinking ever helps with either mood or maintaining your weight.
OP, I always gain weight when I diet. I agree with the posters who say to just keep it simple. Maybe think of it as being good to yourself and only eating healthy food with occasional or small amounts of treats. I don't eat beef or pork. But they're perfectly fine in smaller portions if you like them. A way of eating you could continue with for the rest of your life might do the trick. For me it works to walk in nature every day, never drink my calories *tea, water, coffee* and only eat when hungry. But stressing over weight and turning to dieting leads to weight gain for me.
And I never deprive myself if I have a craving. If I want pizza, I'm gonna eat pizza. Ice cream, too. But I try not to have cookies or ice cream in the house too, too often as I have a weakness for both.
Good luck and when you find a healthier way of eating that works for you, you'll be fine.
I'd be cranky as hell if I did that. I just can't walk around hungry all the time. I know, this is when someone comes prancing up and says you learn to not get hungry, but that doesn't apply t
o me. I think that OMAD thing might work for some, but it doesn't for everyone. When I get hungry, my blood sugar plummets, and I feel angry and mean.
Intermittent fasting actually evens out those spikes in insulin - prompted by frequent eating - that make you "angry and mean" (and keep you overweight, if that's the case). Many report decreased appetite and improved mood along with weight loss even when the amount and type of food eaten remains unchanged. It trains the body to handle both food and its own fat stores more efficiently.
OP: I second the posters who are recommending intermittent fasting... with one caveat. Most of the evidence supporting IF is based on the effects in men. Not women, especially those of child-bearing years, when our bodies are hard-wired to maintain the fat stores necessary to sustain pregnancy, milk production, and beyond. That’s not to say that women can’t or shouldn’t fast, but that it can have negative effects on hormone levels if fasting windows are too long, and we don’t often reap the health benefits that men do with longer fasts, like fat loss, mental clarity, and increased performance while working out during a fast.
You can start off with a shorter fasting window, like 12 hours, then gradually step up to 14 hours, or even 16 hours. For myself (I’m just a few years older than you), I aim for 14 hour fasts, but sometimes 16 hours if I’m not hungry (like if my last meal was an indulgent holiday dinner or something). It sounds like a long time, but I honestly fell into it by accident when I realized I could save time in the morning by eating breakfast when I got to work, rather than beforehand and then needing a morning snack later. A typical 14 hour daily fast looks like this for me:
Breakfast 9:00
Lunch 12:30
Snack 4:30 (and only because I have an hour-long commute home, plus another 30-45 minutes after that until dinner is on the table)
Dinner 6:30 - 7:00
And that’s it until the next day. I’m not a big snacker, but if for some reason I am still hungry after dinner, like if I worked out at night, I’ll eat a tablespoon of peanut butter or almond butter right before the start of my fast, and that never fails to hit the spot.
It's actually how people USED to eat; meals were at home, together, around a table, and took a long time to prepare. There was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Period. If you wanted a snack mid-afternoon, it would be an apple or handful of nuts. You remember... When everyone was thin? They didn't eat fast food and junk food all day and all night long. It's really just a return to this tradition, with the exception of skipping breakfast for the longer fasts.
Throughout human history, there is no one specific eating pattern; some grazed, some at one large meal per day, and the three-meals-per day plan is largely a product of “modern civilization” and of the Industrial Revolution, when meals needed to coincide with the workday. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with smaller, more frequent meals (during pregnancy and breastfeeding in particular, a lot of women function better that way)... but where people get into trouble with “6 small meals” is when they aren’t scaling down those meals into snack-size amounts... and eating six times per day instead of three gives them twice as many opportunities to over-do it each day.
Throughout human history, there is no one specific eating pattern; some grazed, some at one large meal per day, and the three-meals-per day plan is largely a product of “modern civilization” and of the Industrial Revolution, when meals needed to coincide with the workday. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with smaller, more frequent meals (during pregnancy and breastfeeding in particular, a lot of women function better that way)... but where people get into trouble with “6 small meals” is when they aren’t scaling down those meals into snack-size amounts... and eating six times per day instead of three gives them twice as many opportunities to over-do it each day.
I wasn't referring to "throughout history"; I was referring to recent history, before we lived in our cars and frequented drive-thrus and jiffy shops at all hours of the day and night.
Consuming more calories isn't the only problem with "six small meals," as I've already explained (but will again). Every time you eat, your pancreas secretes insulin. Every time your pancreas secretes insulin, your body stores fat AND makes you hungry. Every time you get hungry, you eat (these days). Eventually you become insulin-resistant...and fat.
Additionally, your body never has the opportunity to BURN your body fat for fuel since you're constantly supplying it with a more readily available source (food).
This is why three whole foods meals a day with no snacking in between is the bare minimum one should do to lose weight; going longer between meals is even better.
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