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Old 07-08-2010, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,599,905 times
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I know, and knew going into the adoption process, that Willie's behavior has gotten him surrendered at least twice, and having had him for close to a year, it doesn't surprise me. The insurmountable separation anxiety, the extremely high need for vigorous exercise, the desperate hatred of the crate, the capability of unbelievable destructiveness, the beagle nose for food and tenacity of getting at it even when it's ostensibly "safe," etc. There have absolutely been times when we've asked ourselves, "Are we the right home for him?" But every time, I think of others surrendering him back to the refuge, and my answer is, "Yes, probably. As much as anybody else, if not moreso." I have given serious thought to the likely reality that, honestly, he'd probably be happier in a home where people work from home or there is one stay-at-home person present. But given the dearth of people in that situation in our area, he'd probably just be sitting unadopted that much longer. And even a homemaker or people who work from their houses are going to have times where they're not home, and the separation anxiety would rear its ugly head anyway.
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Old 07-08-2010, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Dunwoody,GA
2,240 posts, read 5,861,348 times
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Makes sense. We just found that all the measures we had to take in order to manage the behavior (e.g., rarely walking her outside, having to enclose her in a small area between the kitchen and the den) were to the dog's detriment and counter to what she really needed, which was wide open space. Obviously, all Labs need to run, but we're not fully fenced in and she'd take off and be gone in a snap. All in all, it just wasn't fair to the dog, I think. We loved her, no doubt about it; such a sweet dog. If she was cantankerous on top of all the other behavior, it would have been a much easier choice.
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Old 07-08-2010, 01:15 PM
 
Location: On the west side of the Tetons
1,353 posts, read 2,431,378 times
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I haven't surrendered a dog, but my boy was an owner surrender. The woman he lived with loved him dearly. However, due to some medical issues, she couldn't provide him with the mental stimulation and physical activity that he needs. As a result, he was very unhappy and was misbehaving and getting into trouble. I'm so grateful that she loved him enough that she was willing to let him go in order for him to be happy and healthy, even though it broke her heart. It sounds like you did the same for your dog.

We still keep in touch and I send her pictures so she can see how happy he is with his new life. She sends him a Christmas card every year and calls me his angel, which makes me cry every time.
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Old 07-08-2010, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,044,161 times
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Unless someone has walked in your shoes, they're not allowed to judge.

I'll tell you my story of Artie.

Artie *looked* exactly like the dog I wanted. I, however, ALSO wanted the friendly dog that all the neighborhood kids could play with. Well, the latter part was NOT meant to be. Yeah, he's cute as all get-out, but he's a devil.

There were two dogs that I had to choose from, both on Craigslist. One was a Beagle/Basset. The other was Artie, a Lab mix (with either Corgi or Beagle). Really, he's mixed with monster, except with a certain select few.

Anyway, we went for a meet and greet with Artie first. The girl (Melissa) who was giving him up was doing so because her engagement was broken, she travels a lot for work, and without her fiance around, she couldn't keep relying on friends to "babysit" every time she had to leave town, which was often. She had no problem adopting out her first dog, but Artie was a whole other story. He couldn't go to a home with kids. He came with a lifetime membership to Bark Busters training. "He was a handful." Her words. But I fell in love.

My husband and I talked about it for a couple of days. He's not a dog person at all. I am. The situation with Artie could go one of a few ways, given his aggressive tendencies, which were due to him being abused as a puppy: (1) He could be adopted by someone who would have no patience for his quirks and abuse him; (2) He could be adopted by someone who would have no patience for his quirks and pass him onto the next adopter, and so on and so on and so on; (3) He could be adopted by someone who would have no patience for his quirks and send him off to a shelter where he'd be euthanized; or (4) He could be adopted by me. I knew I had all the patience in the world for him. I work from home -- we'd be together 24/7 and I would have the patience.

When Melissa dropped him off, she cried like a baby, feeling like she was deserting him but happy because she saw that I had a wealth of love to give to her dog.

He's still a monster, but he's a total lovebug with me.

He's had a few incidents, but he's gotten much better. Melissa babysits for him when we go on vacation, and she says that he's much calmer now.

My point is this: Not every home is perfect for every dog. If your dog has become too much for you, he's too much for you. Having a dog should be fun, not stressful. Hopefully, you can find a rescue who will place him in a home that's perfect for him. And maybe you can find another dog for whom your home is perfect.

Don't beat yourself up. You've TRIED, which is more than many do.

I wish you well. Only good things from here on out.

ETA: It occurred to me afterwards that you might have thought I was implying that if someone is patient, then anything can be worked out. I was NOT saying that. I was just explaining my thought process when adopting Artie. I think that patience can only go so far. And I stand by what I said: not every home is perfect for every dog, and not every dog is perfect for every home.

Last edited by DawnMTL; 07-08-2010 at 02:58 PM..
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Old 07-08-2010, 02:01 PM
 
Location: sittin happy in the sun :-)
3,645 posts, read 7,154,792 times
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CMMom, I really feel for you reading your post, you clearly tried and loved your dog.

I work with a rescue for large breeds and the heartless people that just dump their dogs never ceases to amaze me, at least you CARED and were responsible. Sometimes things don't work out, but please don't feel guilty. It obviously wasn't meant to be and she will hopefully find the right home suitable for her needs.

I hope it doesn't put you off considering another rescue dog in the future though, they are the most amazing and rewarding of dogs to have
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Old 07-08-2010, 03:02 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
2,807 posts, read 7,588,192 times
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I'm so sorry you had to make this hard decision...2 years is a long time to be trying, and you can't beat yourself up about it...you put a LOT more time into the dog than most people would have, which shows how much you really care. I also understand your frustration, I have been working with an 8 yr. old chi. who has been more challenging than I ever thought possible...I knew this taking her in, and did so anyway because she would have been put down, but it has been a long road. Some of the issues she has may never be fixed. If I were in a different situation, I would probably be looking for a new home for her, but she and the pack are now quite attached to each other, and to rip her away from all of us would be too heartbreaking all around.

Hang in there, and know you did your best!
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:42 AM
 
1,831 posts, read 4,436,681 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by latetotheparty View Post
i have had to do this a couple of times over the last year or so.....

first one was buddy-the-giant-lab .... 98 lbs of solid, untrained, and undisciplined muscle ..... at 3-1/2 years old, he had had NO training from any of his previous homes..... he belonged to a friend i let move into my house, trying to help him get back on his feet after a rough patch in his life..... no good deed goes unpunished.... fast forward 14 months and i had to kick the loser guy out of my house.... i had had more than enough of his lazy, sorry azz..... he abandoned buddy with me..... buddy had grown very attached to and protective of bailey and me.... he actually burst threw the screen of my living room window when he saw me talking to a neighbor and their dog in my driveway one day ..... he was male-dog aggressive and just too much dog for me..... so i found him a GREAT lab rescue group in tulsa that had room for him.... was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do..... i made sure he was completely vetted and up to date on his vaccs (another thing his person neglected to take care of) ..... and turned over 6 months of heartguard and frontline plus, as well as a GIANT bag of his kibble and about 20 of his favorite bones..... the woman in charge of the rescue fell madly in love with him ..... and he lived with her on her 6-7 acre place until he was adopted into his forever home about a month later..... the only way i was able to live with myself was by repeatedly telling myself that he is now with "lab people" .... something i know i am not... by all accounts, he is doing GREAT with his family and has finally received the training and discipline he so needed..... its been a little over a year and i still check on him periodically......

the next one was techically a foster, but the rescue was REALLY hoping i would adopt him..... i had charlie for about 3 months and i could not do a thing with him..... he had had 2 or 3 course of obedience training at petco and excelled at that..... but he was half border collie (suspect there was a lot o' lab in there too....) and again, WAY too much dog for me and for bailey..... he nipped CONSTANTLY.... i was bruised from my butt to my knees and i can not imagine what bailey looked like under her fur.... i tried and tried everything that anyone suggested, outside of physical repercussions, but nothing worked ..... i had to go out of town for a few days and while i was gone, he was boarded with one of the other fosters in the rescue and ADOPTED..... unfortunately, that adoption failed and he was back in foster with them for a month or so before he finally found his PERFECT forever home..... bailey and i were heading into petco one sunday afternoon and i saw the rescue lady talking to the potential adopters.... i walked over and introduced myself and told them that i had fostered him for a few months and also told them EVERYTHING i knew about this dog.... the good (lots of that) and the not-so-good, (the nipping and some other bc behaviors) .... i thought the rescue lady was going to bore holes through me while i was talking to them, but i didn't care..... people should know everything possible about a dog before they make the decision to adopt. the couple was not phased with the behaviors i described.... he was a retired military dog trainer.... and now charlie is excelling in the perfect forever home he was meant to be in .....

the last one was a beagle boy that kept wandering over to my house ..... the house he would get loose from did not give a crap about this sweet fella and i SERIOUSLY considered keeping him ..... but by now, i had bailey and dave and the kitties charlie and max..... james-beagle could NOT leave the kitties alone, charlie in particular.... she wound up moving into one the cabinets in the kitchen and would only come out when james-beagle was out of the house or closed away from her..... i was STILL considering keeping him when davey-long-legs and james-beagle got into a tussle over a bone in the backyard .... i had never seen such behavior from either of them and it took me a second to realize that they were NOT playing.... dave is 55 lbs, james is about 25 lbs, so he got the worst of it .... fortunately, just a couple of small bites in one of his ears that i was able to treat myself..... so now, i had to close james in the front bedroom away from bailey and dave while i was at work all day long..... found him a GREAT rescue just outside of topeka.... did the vetting, and kibble and frontline and heartguard thing again .... he has since been adopted into a family with 3 young boys.... and parents experienced with beagles, so they know what little escape artists they can be..... and again, by all accounts is doing great and is very happy....... i could not think of a better situation for him if i had hand-picked it myself.....

all 3 of these fellas are in far far better situations than i would have been able to provide for them.... and that is what lets me sleep at night.....

sorry for the long post......
Thanks for posting this, and thanks to the OP as well. I have tried a training course with the rocket dog, sought and took advice on exercising, and hired a great dog walker/trainer who at this point takes him for five midday walks a week (he also gets a morning and an evening walk). We keep things consistent The rocket dog still has behavioral problems. I have a bruise on my hand from nipping. My children have been nipped. I have replaced the damaged basement floor but not the two armchairs yet. The cat steers clear of him. He's still not adjusting well at all. A beagle rescue offer no help and said they couldn't take a nipping dog. I gave it 8 months -- I don't think I can provide what this beagle needs. I am determined that he is not going to go somewhere where he will be put down.

To the OP -- not hijacking your thread, but just letting you know you are not alone.
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:24 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,352 posts, read 20,036,660 times
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sounds like the rocket dog is not a good fit for your family .... as i recall, he was inherited from a family member who got him from a mill or byb?? THAT could explain a WHOLE lot....

reach out to as many beagle rescues as you can find on petfinder or google search.... doesn't have to be the closest one ..... i transported buddy to tulsa (400 miles each way for me) and james-beagle to topeka (300 miles each way) myself because i couldn't find anything closer that (a) had room and (b) i was comfortable with......

depending on where you are and where he goes, i might can help you with transport.... feel free to send me a dm .....
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:31 AM
 
3,749 posts, read 12,409,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by latetotheparty View Post
sounds like the rocket dog is not a good fit for your family .... as i recall, he was inherited from a family member who got him from a mill or byb?? THAT could explain a WHOLE lot....

reach out to as many beagle rescues as you can find on petfinder or google search.... doesn't have to be the closest one ..... i transported buddy to tulsa (400 miles each way for me) and james-beagle to topeka (300 miles each way) myself because i couldn't find anything closer that (a) had room and (b) i was comfortable with......

depending on where you are and where he goes, i might can help you with transport.... feel free to send me a dm .....
Ditto here regarding the transport. I'm in Houston & driving to Utah (via New Mexico & Northern Arizona) next week. If a transport is needed that includes all or part of that route - just let me know. We always have room for one more kennel in the back!
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:02 PM
 
1,831 posts, read 4,436,681 times
Reputation: 1262
Quote:
Originally Posted by latetotheparty View Post
sounds like the rocket dog is not a good fit for your family .... as i recall, he was inherited from a family member who got him from a mill or byb?? THAT could explain a WHOLE lot....

reach out to as many beagle rescues as you can find on petfinder or google search.... doesn't have to be the closest one ..... i transported buddy to tulsa (400 miles each way for me) and james-beagle to topeka (300 miles each way) myself because i couldn't find anything closer that (a) had room and (b) i was comfortable with......

depending on where you are and where he goes, i might can help you with transport.... feel free to send me a dm .....
Thank you and Va-Cat very much. I'm starting up the inquiries again, using Petfinder. I will send you an dm with an update.
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