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How do you get adult children to understand this? The lab is 14. My son is 18. This dog has been in his life since he was 4 years old. My son is fine with putting a dog to sleep that is suffering. He doesn't understand the "preemptive strike" concept.
I'm a little surprised my husband is okay with putting the labrador to sleep in January if it becomes necessary. My son doesn't really understand the concept of choosing a date and giving the dog a happy day doing his most favorite dog activities.
The dog is very old. He's been hanging on for a couple of years. Now that his hip dysplasia is so bad, we're concerned he's going to break a bone because he falls multiple times a day. We really don't want to wait until he has broken a leg or hip before we have him put to sleep.
Any ideas on how to make this easier on our adult children? Should I just do it without telling them? That's how my mom always handled it. But I would think they would regret not getting to say goodbye.
Hopes, I would never ever do it without telling anyone. We've had to euthanize a dog and a cat over the years. My kids were young (elem school and middle school?)....We were honest and told them that sometimes it's the kindest thing...that being in constant pain and in danger of hurting themselves further, without even the hope of ever getting better is no way to live. I gave my kids the choice of whether they wanted to accompany me (because I would also never let a pet pass without me holding them until the end....).
Hopes, I would never ever do it without telling anyone. We've had to euthanize a dog and a cat over the years. My kids were young (elem school and middle school?)....We were honest and told them that sometimes it's the kindest thing...that being in constant pain and in danger of hurting themselves further, without even the hope of ever getting better is no way to live. I gave my kids the choice of whether they wanted to accompany me (because I would also never let a pet pass without me holding them until the end....).
My gut was that it's not a good idea to keep it a secret. I got over my mother doing what she did, but I always regretted not getting to say goodbye. Don't worry, I will be by his side when he's put to sleep. I put my 22 year old peek-a-poo to sleep when I was 27 years old. (Yep, she had been in my life since I was 7.) I went in with her and held her. I wouldn't do it any other way.
I guess I just need to make the decision and inform them this is the decision, you can come if you like. The problem is that my son will debate me. He feels he has a say since the lab has been "his" dog since he was 4.
My gut was that it's not a good idea to keep it a secret. I got over my mother doing what she did, but I always regretted not getting to say goodbye. Don't worry, I will be by his side when he's put to sleep. I put my 22 year old peek-a-poo to sleep when I was 27 years old. (Yep, she had been in my life since I was 7.) I went in with her and held her. I wouldn't do it any other way.
I guess I just need to make the decision and inform them this is the decision, you can come if you like. The problem is that my son will debate me. He feels he has a say since the lab has been "his" dog since he was 4.
I didn't tell my son; he was only in Kindergarden at the time. I still think he has not forgiven me.
Here's what my parents did ~ they told me Sparky ran away!! They let me go out night after night, calling for him, banging my spoon on his bowl (that usually got him in) until finally they could stand it no longer.
Don't do that!
I think you have to tell him before you do it and give him the chance to say good-bye. He's still young at 18 and it is going to be hard for him.
This is very, very sad for you and your family. I am so sorry about this time.
I just can't get behind the 'preemptive strike,' either...and I am 34.
My mother decided to do that with the dog I had since I was three (I was 16 when the 'preemptive strike' took place - kind of for the same reasons). I still haven't gotten over the guilt and anger. Typing this right now is making me tear up.
If you decide to do this, just understand that you may do what you think is best (and this is your perogative), but he may never understand or agree with it. You're just gonna have to learn to be ok with that.
This is very, very sad for you and your family. I am so sorry about this time.
I just can't get behind the 'preemptive strike,' either...and I am 34.
My mother decided to do that with the dog I had since I was three (I was 16 when the 'preemptive strike' took place - kind of for the same reasons). I still haven't gotten over the guilt and anger. Typing this right now is making me tear up.
If you decide to do this, just understand that you may do what you think is best (and this is your perogative), but he may never understand or agree with it. You're just gonna have to learn to be ok with that.
I think by 'pre emptive strike"; she meant to avoid pain and suffering. Which, we all agree, is best for the dog when time is drawing near.
But, you are right, her son may never agree with it. However, it is not his call nor, thankfully, his responsibility. He will have to deal with euthanizing a pet one day, most likely, if he has pets of his own. Then, he will understand what agonizing decisions must be made somtimes.
My son is fine with putting a dog to sleep that is suffering. He doesn't understand the "preemptive strike" concept.
Does not sound like the dog is suffering yet.
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