Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wonder...is this person flighty? Was the dog even for real? Did she make him up for attention?
Person is not generally flighty. Far from it (so I thought.) The dog is real. I have pics of the dog in their house. I can tell its theirs by the flooring. So for however brief, there was a puppy staying with them. I have pics of the dog a few days old with eyes closed. Videos of the litter from the breeder. Videos of the pregnant mama. I don't doubt for a minute that this dog exists.
I do think there was some showing off. It was an expensive purebred and this person does like to compete a bit. But I am not sure what they expected -- that a magical dog nanny would appear and take care of the dog? That the puppy would come pre-programmed not to keep them up at night? One night without sleep and that is it? I can't get my head around it. Sorry. I know its the right thing in this case, but it really makes me question this person's idea of reality.
That's just it. This is the opposite of a whim/impulsive decision. The build up to getting this dog was MONTHS in the making. Assailed with pictures and videos of the dog and even the pregnancy that led to the dog. Almost daily updates to everybody. It is just mind boggling to me that suddenly this is not happening.
And I would think that the breeder's head is also spinning. This person went through pretty intense screening and a home visit. And was on a waiting list. This is not a "difficult" breed either in term of training or temperament.
I know that you are all right saying that it's for the best. But what is this even about? This person is in their 30s. Kids were talked about. I hate to see what happens with that.
I think it is easy to get caught up in the breeder storyline. A lot of these people are very good sales reps for their dogs. They document each phase of a puppy's existence in a way that would be annoying with humans. Puppies that can't even walk normally yet get their photos taken with floral arrangements. They are compared enthusiastically to their half litter mates and accomplishments of all their relatives are trotted out.
But the reality of puppies is an entirely different thing. Personally? I've never found puppy breath all that alluring or adorable. I think puppies are jerks and the only benefit to getting them at that stage is you can ensure a proper upbringing to have a confident and happy adult dog. I'm getting a puppy for my next dog because I want to take the knowledge and personal growth I've acquired over the last decade and apply it to raising a good sport dog and hopefully have fewer behavioral problems than my rescues who all came from pretty sad situations. I'm not expecting raising the future puppy to be all that fun - but I am expecting it to be rewarding over the long term if I stick it out and do all the things I know are what a puppy can thrive on. But honestly? Depending on the breed it can be HARD work.
Most pet people don't want to have to invest that kind of time in reality, but the breeder sells a good story and makes them feel like they're part of this chosen elite group. But often the breeder is getting something out of it too by attaching strings to the sale, like they have to breed the dog to the stud of the breeder's choosing and the breeder gets the pups and all that BS.
Your relative could have gotten the pup home, spent a night listening to it cry, cleaning up its runny poo and just had the full force of reality hit them that this is a HUGE commitment that will constrain their life. And maybe those rewards of raising a dog didn't seem all that great in comparison to the loss of freedom and the expense that can come with a dog.
I think it is easy to get caught up in the breeder storyline. A lot of these people are very good sales reps for their dogs. They document each phase of a puppy's existence in a way that would be annoying with humans. Puppies that can't even walk normally yet get their photos taken with floral arrangements. They are compared enthusiastically to their half litter mates and accomplishments of all their relatives are trotted out.
But the reality of puppies is an entirely different thing. Personally? I've never found puppy breath all that alluring or adorable. I think puppies are jerks and the only benefit to getting them at that stage is you can ensure a proper upbringing to have a confident and happy adult dog. I'm getting a puppy for my next dog because I want to take the knowledge and personal growth I've acquired over the last decade and apply it to raising a good sport dog and hopefully have fewer behavioral problems than my rescues who all came from pretty sad situations. I'm not expecting raising the future puppy to be all that fun - but I am expecting it to be rewarding over the long term if I stick it out and do all the things I know are what a puppy can thrive on. But honestly? Depending on the breed it can be HARD work.
Most pet people don't want to have to invest that kind of time in reality, but the breeder sells a good story and makes them feel like they're part of this chosen elite group. But often the breeder is getting something out of it too by attaching strings to the sale, like they have to breed the dog to the stud of the breeder's choosing and the breeder gets the pups and all that BS.
Your relative could have gotten the pup home, spent a night listening to it cry, cleaning up its runny poo and just had the full force of reality hit them that this is a HUGE commitment that will constrain their life. And maybe those rewards of raising a dog didn't seem all that great in comparison to the loss of freedom and the expense that can come with a dog.
Could be. You are likely right on.
I will be honest. I am not a fan of the whole extra special purebred puppy thing. If we had a dog, it would be a rescue. I know that they come with their own baggage, but at least with an adult you have some idea of their general temperament and habits. Same goes for a cat, goat, or any other animal. I have always thought getting an adult was a better way to go, even though that is not without lots of problems and work. I am highly allergic to pet dander and we have a kitten that we found starving and crying on one of our properties we have gotten vetted and are taking to a reputable rescue after Christmas. He's a doll but I am maxed out on my meds and can't keep him. Even still, he's been work and I am sure nowhere near as much work as a puppy. There's been crying, climbing curtains, illness, accidents, etc. You expect this with a baby animal.
However, this is not only out of character, but its puzzling to me. This person took off a few weeks from work to get acclimated to the dog and start training. So its not like they weren't aware that this needed to happen. The puppy in question is very cute. Its not a big breed. It went home with some toys, food and a list of behaviors to expect (like crying all night at first.)
Again, I know its for the best if they got the dog and really hated being dog caretakers immediately. But there was SO much build up. We were planning a visit to come and see this dog once I recover a bit from the constant illness of being around a cat with allergies. There was a lot of Facebook posting/excitement/name picking. It just seems very quick to throw all of that down the tubes.
She may be flighty or it could be the opposite; maybe she knows herself so well that she doesn't want to put herself through the stress as she can see now that it's not "just" the responsibility of raising it. A puppy really does turn your life upside down in every way.
I mentioned the topic of "puppy blues" here a few months ago. I was aware of it (thankfully) before I got my puppy. Even people who planned for a year can get this overwhelming feeling of dread when they bring their puppy home. Like a feeling of "Oh no, what did I do?" It's not just the responsibility of caring for it, (it sounds like she knew most of that) it's more of a feeling of "I want my old life back".
It's great your family encouraged her to stick it out as this feeling almost always passes. Not sure if she was feeling like this but lots of people do. If you google the topic there are many articles (I'll include a link below). 24 hours is pretty quick, but many state it started the day they brought their puppy home. Like others said though, the quicker the better to rehome if she is really sure.
She may be flighty or it could be the opposite; maybe she knows herself so well that she doesn't want to put herself through the stress as she can see now that it's not "just" the responsibility of raising it. A puppy really does turn your life upside down in every way.
I mentioned the topic of "puppy blues" here a few months ago. I was aware of it (thankfully) before I got my puppy. Even people who planned for a year can get this overwhelming feeling of dread when they bring their puppy home. Like a feeling of "Oh no, what did I do?" It's not just the responsibility of caring for it, (it sounds like she knew most of that) it's more of a feeling of "I want my old life back".
It's great your family encouraged her to stick it out as this feeling almost always passes. Not sure if she was feeling like this but lots of people do. If you google the topic there are many articles (I'll include a link below). 24 hours is pretty quick, but many state it started the day they brought their puppy home. Like others said though, the quicker the better to rehome if she is really sure.
Wow, thank you! I had not heard of this, but I can see how it could happen. The reality is different than the fantasy I guess.
I grew up in a household of dog maniacs on my father's side-- breeders, trainers, and (often competitive and insufferable) experts. Drove me nuts but despite the fact that I don't have a dog, I know a good deal about how much work they are. And I have always said "consider a cat" to most people who get wistful about a puppy. I would have thought this person was prepared. Guess not.
I am just disappointed. I always get upset when I think someone is playing fast and loose with an animal's well being. But in this case, at least the breeder took it back. I guess it was an expensive lesson. If they decide to "try again" I might lose it on them.
Wow, thank you! I had not heard of this, but I can see how it could happen. The reality is different than the fantasy I guess.
I grew up in a household of dog maniacs on my father's side-- breeders, trainers, and (often competitive and insufferable) experts. Drove me nuts but despite the fact that I don't have a dog, I know a good deal about how much work they are. And I have always said "consider a cat" to most people who get wistful about a puppy. I would have thought this person was prepared. Guess not.
I am just disappointed. I always get upset when I think someone is playing fast and loose with an animal's well being. But in this case, at least the breeder took it back. I guess it was an expensive lesson. If they decide to "try again" I might lose it on them.
I totally get why you are baffled and disappointed. Possibly she felt cutting ties immediately would benefit the puppy too as waiting a few weeks would cause her and the puppy to get more attached and just make it harder later to rehome? Sometimes all the talk of trainers, daycare, etc., and all of the warnings about, "Don't do this_____or you will mess up your puppy!" heightened any anxiety she might have had. Sounds like there was a lot of build up anyway. The cold hard fact is that it doesn't get easier for a LONG time. I wish more people talked openly about this. I feel just knowing you are not alone if you have these feelings is beneficial. No one wants to admit feelings of failure but the internet has given people an opportunity to vent about a very real issue anonymously.
Like you, I have been around dogs my whole life. I have owned them and worked with several rescue dogs. Not my first puppy. In fact I raised and housetrained one of my dogs as a puppy with little problems and didn't even own a crate! My last was a totally unadoptable feral 10 mo old rescue that I couldn't even touch normally for almost 3 months and I didn't think it could get worse than that. Even experienced rescue people told me "I can't believe you were able to keep that dog".
Well, in March I took home a sweet MELLOW puppy that has never once cried in his crate and sleeps 9-10 hrs at night, (even the first night) and was easy to housetrain. So, what's the problem? Well, everything else. LOL. Awesome, friendly temperament but a total PITA in ways I never imagined. No two have the same personality and some can be challenging.
I was frustrated with myself and blaming it on me being alone doing this. Reading about the issues people go through, I saw quickly that many families and people with SO's go through the same thing sometimes. I wish people would talk more about the stress part rather than just the training part to truly prepare people for getting a puppy (or an adult for that matter). Everyone is different so no two people are alike and won't react the same.
However, this is not only out of character, but its puzzling to me. This person took off a few weeks from work to get acclimated to the dog and start training. So its not like they weren't aware that this needed to happen. The puppy in question is very cute. Its not a big breed. It went home with some toys, food and a list of behaviors to expect (like crying all night at first.)
. . .
Another possibility occurs to me - this relative is part of a family, right? Meaning spouse or kids are also in the house. What if, amidst all that buildup, someone ELSE wasn't really keen on the idea, and when puppy comes home, tempers blow up? That could account for such a sudden about-face.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
