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Old 09-16-2020, 10:34 PM
 
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successful = one who can take care of themselves and their family/dependents without the reliance on government/charities/handouts/parents.
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Old 09-16-2020, 10:39 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
successful = one who can take care of themselves and their family/dependents without the reliance on government/charities/handouts/parents.
While I technically agree with you, this sets the 'success' bar pretty low. Good thing it's not a Limbo Bar. :-)
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Old 09-16-2020, 10:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
While I technically agree with you, this sets the 'success' bar pretty low. Good thing it's not a Limbo Bar. :-)

You may think it's low but it's becoming scarcer by day.
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Old 09-16-2020, 10:50 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
You may think it's low but it's becoming scarcer by day.
Yeah, I get your point (and is why I 'technically' agreed). From my standpoint, however, it describes 'contentment' or survival/necessity more than 'success' per se.
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Old 09-17-2020, 06:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Success is really not that 'complex', from my perspective - particularly because, not in spite, of various factors in an individual's personal definition tend to be rather limited, at the end of the day. Almost all combine some level of professional success/money with personal i.e. a significant other, a girlfriend, friends, a passion, whatever. When it comes down to it, most would define success in the same (general) way i.e. 'happiness'; it's simply a matter of (personal) details.

That said, I'm sorry to hear about your wife leaving you. I can't imagine to understand what you're going through; but you don't appear to be acting rationally i.e. your success/failure does not rest on a woman who walked out of your life. No matter how we define it, we are responsible for our own success (and failures). You cannot blame (what you feel is) your lack of success on anyone; but rather, do you see how 'giving up' is what would be the root of your (ultimate) failure (as you describe above), not her?
Thank you for your kind words. And you are right, it is me giving up that's the problem if I go through with destroying my career. I just meant that without her in my life everything else is essentially worthless so I could care less if my finances are ruined. Shes not to blame its me. I just meant her being in my life was my personal definition of success and without her it means very little.
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Old 09-17-2020, 08:21 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Originally Posted by griffon652 View Post
Thank you for your kind words. And you are right, it is me giving up that's the problem if I go through with destroying my career. I just meant that without her in my life everything else is essentially worthless so I could care less if my finances are ruined. Shes not to blame its me. I just meant her being in my life was my personal definition of success and without her it means very little.
I understand what you're stating re: feeling loss/failure without her; what I find bizarre, however, is your previous post/desire to 'blow your success and money' and turn it into failure.

In other words, I consider personal relationships/friends a part of my success as well (particularly a relationship with the woman in my life); but don't you think most successful people have the ability to navigate the 'storms' they encounter - because who among us have not had any? Else, I'd wonder how they ever became successful without it.
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Old 09-18-2020, 03:13 AM
 
18,549 posts, read 15,590,462 times
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Originally Posted by Lillie767 View Post
To everyone who said that money is not a measure of success, I reply to them: poppycock! It may not be the sole measure of success, but it is generally considered one measure of success. To all of you living on a higher plane of existence than the rest of us, I'm glad you are at peace and feel that you have achieved more than we shall through your inner self of contentment whilst we are chasing a false god.

Many of us in the USA are the decedents of voluntary emigration. Our ancestors were unhappy people who needed major changes in their lives: social and economic. These were the risk takers and we are their progeny. These people wanted more and fought for more.

Why do those who feel contentment and inner peace is their measure of success, want to take away our measure of success: our money?
I think some people are simply over-correcting for the mentality that success = money, but that's just my opinion.

Perhaps a better way is to talk about successes, not "success". You can succeed at as many things as you can make goals for, and that may include both money and non-money type goals.

No one can "take away" your ability to set your goals, but at the same time your goals may not match someone else's goals, and that is OK.
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Old 09-18-2020, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Wooster, Ohio
4,143 posts, read 3,056,566 times
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Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
successful = one who can take care of themselves and their family/dependents without the reliance on government/charities/handouts/parents.
I would agree with this definition. However, as a child, I remember watching Reginald Van Gleason III wearing a tuxedo and dancing with a line of chorus girls through Ralph Crampton's apartment while a symphony orchestra played in the background. Now that's what I thought being successful meant.
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Old 09-19-2020, 09:02 AM
 
1,488 posts, read 1,967,454 times
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Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
I understand what you're stating re: feeling loss/failure without her; what I find bizarre, however, is your previous post/desire to 'blow your success and money' and turn it into failure.

In other words, I consider personal relationships/friends a part of my success as well (particularly a relationship with the woman in my life); but don't you think most successful people have the ability to navigate the 'storms' they encounter - because who among us have not had any? Else, I'd wonder how they ever became successful without it.

She was my inspiration to try to better myself. So essentially without her in my life I have no desire to try. But I'm not giving up. I will of course do everything in my power to get her back in my life before I stop caring about everything else.
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Old 09-19-2020, 06:22 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,669 posts, read 3,871,862 times
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Originally Posted by griffon652 View Post
She was my inspiration to try to better myself. So essentially without her in my life I have no desire to try. But I'm not giving up. I will of course do everything in my power to get her back in my life before I stop caring about everything else.
My point was simply (from my point of view) successful people are rarely one-dimensional i.e. personal/career success is separate from (and not dependent upon) each other.

That said, you may need time to work through your personal circumstances/emotion; but I'd suggest a leave rather than spinning your goals/money into failure per your post/story #39. One way or another, you can get back on track, but (continued) career success isn't easy (nor should it be dependent upon personal success). In fact, they enhance (rather than take away from) each other.
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