What's the general opinion on exchange students?

[Girl_from_Baku]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

I do know Edwardsville, in fact (native Illinoisan). It's part of the St. Louis metro, so it's not going to have an especially rural or small town feel, which, as some have pointed out, may be beneficial for some exchange students, by virtue of them being considered unique and exotic by a relatively small and likely fairly homogenous population. It is, however, an overwhelmingly white community, so it's possible that students of other ethnicities may be considered to have some scarcity value. Specifically, though, it's hard to say.

Thank you for detailed answer I really want to know more about the place where I will spend next year.

[jasper12]

Be wary of the host family. Whoever is in charge of placing students did a horrible job, and this nice girl from China was with this awful family that treated her like a slave. It was so awful, that she basically ended up living at our home after Christmas. The host family was going to complain, because they wanted the cash. I told them to keep the money, so she lived with us after that. Which was good, because then my daughter had a live in math tutor! She is back home now, it worked out fine. But that first family was terrible.

[AnotherTouchOfWhimsy]

I'm not sure which agency you used, but I don't know of any that pay their host families, at least not in the USA. We don't receive any financial compensation at all... we truly do it out of a desire to gain a new member of the family and to share our culture with the kids.

[TabulaRasa]

The main thing that I noticed with our exchange students were that they were overwhelmingly placed (and I suppose sought out by) with religious conservatives (probably people who linked up with the host family programs due to evangelical motivation). While I don't have a problem that various religious groups may lean toward encouraging their parishioners to be involved in these programs, I also think that it can hinder the exchange students' experience, and lead them to have a picture of their host country that isn't necessarily reflective of things as a whole. I know that in some cases, exchange students I knew were not always allowed to attend events and participate in activities that would have given them a more typical, complete American high school experience, because they were activities that went against the host parents' personal morals and standards.

It really depends on the particular exchange program, as well.

[Girl_from_Baku]

I think, that good experience in foreign country depends to a large extent on host family. Placement organization chooses a family for us. (In my case it's American Councils).
Programm, in which I participate, covers all expenses. This programm works with students who are 14-17 years old.
How are host families controlled, I wonder?

[TabulaRasa]

I would imagine that there's a screening process involved in order to be a host family, but I don't know how much checking up there is after the placement is made. I would imagine that if there is an issue, the student has somebody to contact about it. But I really don't know.

[AnotherTouchOfWhimsy]

Yes, there is a screening process; actually, the rules have become much more stringent in very recent years. Potential host families must submit a fairly lengthy application, along with photos of the house, kitchen, living room, student's room, student's bathroom, and family pictures. The application asks for things like house rules, what there is to do in the town, curfew, information about the family members, info about the school, etc. You also have to submit to a background check. At this point, you are allowed to read exchange student letters and see photos. (That part is new for this year... before that, you could see photos and letters before the background check, but not anymore.)

Once that's all done, a local coordinator (LC) comes to the house for a home visit. S/he checks out the rooms, goes over the application, goes over the rules of the program. Ours also gave us information about what to expect as far as culture shock, acclimating to the American lifestyle, etc.

Shortly after the student arrives, the LC comes over and meets the student, gives her all of the same information, and makes sure she knows that she can contact her at any time. Then they have to meet with the student once per month to check on her, talk to her, see how it's going. In the meantime, the host family or the student can call the LC if there are any problems/questions/concerns. Some LCs want to get together with the students more often, but I'm glad that it hasn't been the case with ours... the students are just so busy with school and friends and extracurricular activities and family things, that even making time to get together with the LC once per month sometimes takes some schedule-juggling.

We've worked with two different agencies and have had great experiences. I also have a few friends who have hosted. You hear horror stories on both sides, both about wild/defiant students and about crazy-psycho host families, but in reality, I don't think it happens much. Sure, sometimes there are temperament differences that make having a good relationship improbable, and sometimes a kid breaks rules, but for the most part, most problems can be worked through.

We're about to say goodbye to our current student in three short weeks, and I'm on the verge of tears almost daily... I just don't know how I'm going to let her go! She is totally a member of the family, and I love her like she's my own child, and we're very close. For this reason alone, we've decided not to host again next year... I remember when our first student left, I cried and said "I can't ever do this again!" but then four years later we decided to. Now I'm thinking the same thing, but know that in another year or two, I'll be ready to open my heart up again. You get really, REALLY attached to these kids!! We've been fortunate that our first has been able to come back to visit each year, and I think that this one will, too, but sometimes you really never see the child again, which can be heartbreaking. I'd say that's definitely the worst part of hosting... the saying goodbye afterwards.

[stepka]

Yes experiences vary widely as to how they're received. We're hosting a young lady from S. Korea and she is very unhappy right now and I'm not sure how to help her. Our school here hasn't been very inclusive at all with her and though she's joined all of the clubs that she has the slightest bit of interest in, they haven't been very forthcoming. She has a lovely personality though not extremely outgoing. Still, I've seen her run up to people at the zoo who were speaking Korean and when she gets with a group of girls from her own country she makes instant friends. I suspect that she doesn't know how to interpret Americans and that she came with some rather unrealistic expectations.

I work at another high school and I'm going to see if I can get her in up there and she's going to come and check it out this week but if she doesn't like that option either she is planning to see if she can move in with another host family in another city--she is that unhappy with the situation.

Another problem we've had is that she and my daughter didn't click at all--they get along just fine but the girl doesn't feel comfortable with my dd's friends and my dd is a very studious type--she is more concerned with which college she's going to get into than in making the girl feel welcome. That sounds terrible doesn't it, but I guess I"m saying she's quite goal driven and has compartmentalized her life in such a way and when I try to speak to her about it she just doesn't see the problem and she tells me that she feels that they don't have much in common.

We've also had a rather negative experience with the company we went thru--not horrible, since they do the screening process that Whimsy spoke of--that's standard procedure. But the people who set us up and helped us choose a student and were supposed to train us suddenly dropped out of the program right after my student came--we had a local coordinator but she was as brand new as we were at this and no one had made the expectations clear to her and then the people just above her just went poof and even the company didn't know what had happened. It was weird. So, there was no support from the company.

In short, things just haven't worked out all that well for us with this and we probably won't do it again. It's not been awful for us and I really like the young lady, but I hate to see her so unhappy and not be able to do anything to help and I really don't want to put another student thru it. If I were to do it again I would choose another company.

[AnotherTouchOfWhimsy]

Aww, Stepka, I'm sorry you're not having a great experience. For you and for the girl. It can be a wonderful, amazing, awesome experience, or it can be so-so (of course, it can also be awful)... I hope your student can salvage her year.