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Have you spoken to the principal? I don't know much about Tulsa, but in most places the principal is the ultimate authority in the school. I would start with that. If that doesn't work, take it to the superintendent (his boss) and the board of education (everyone's boss).
Also, just so they know you mean business, document every single thing, every day, detailing times, classes, teachers, bullies, etc. Everything. If you don't get results soon, then forward a letter, along with documentation to the principal, the teacher, the superintendent, and the school board.
And if nothing else works, maybe homeschooling would be best. Also, you might look into affordable private schools (like a Catholic school, for example, which you can usually go to even if you are not Catholic).
Don't just document. Take a tape-recorder to meetings, place it right in front of you, and tell them you are taping the meeting.
I need advice. My 10 year old daughter is a victim of mass bullying. I have spoken to the teachers the counselors and nothing seems to help, it almost seems like it is making the situation worse. At this point I am considering homeschooling. Please help.
Speaking to the teachers and councelors probabley IS making it worse for your daughter....definitely go with the home schooling, I feel it's a superior education anyways..Your daughter would be better off at home than being bullied daily...how can she possibly learn anything (other than what to do to try and protect herself) when she has to go through hell every day...Asking for help from principals, and councilors is like talking to a brick wall.
Don't just document. Take a tape-recorder to meetings, place it right in front of you, and tell them you are taping the meeting.
I'm a teacher, once a parent did this at an important meeting with administrators and they really took notice. I believe that they may be been deciding to rule against her request before the meeting but changed their minds when they say how serious she was.
Another tip is to come with an advocate (in most situations it is your right). It doesn't have to be an attorney or even some type of professional, just someone who is level headed and calm. They can either just be another set of ears, to keep track of what was said or someone who has knowledge of the situation who can quietly remind you if you forgot to mention something when explaining your story.
Having an advocate can be a silent powerful message that your aren't alone and others feel that this is important. It may be possible to find someone with a community anti-bullying group that will come with you and support you. Admistrators will feel that you have researched the subject and know the laws involved so they can't "steam roll over you and your rights."
Good luck to you.
P.S. Perhaps you can explain what things were involved with the bullying so that people can give better responses. If it involved the internet, like emails or facebook (which they are too young to be legally doing), some states have passed stricter laws to prevent bullying. If it involved any type of physical involvent, spitting at or throwing things at your daughter that takes it to another level. Also, in some states, you can sue the parents as well as the school.
Last edited by germaine2626; 10-13-2012 at 05:11 PM..
You can ALWAYS go to Catholic school even if you're not Catholic. And they probably have financial aid available, too.
Sorry...but I went to Catholic school for 12 years and was bullied when I was 14. It got to the point where I did not want to go to school. My father got a hold of her father, and that was the end of it...but that was in the 70's. Things are different now. I lived in Tulsa for 8 years when my 2 youngest were in HS (from 2003-2011) The kids could not handle the gangs, drugs, etc. They opted for their GEDS. If it can't be fixed, I would suggest homeschooling. Best of luck.
Sorry to hear that Jrsygrl, but I was not trying to say there's no bullying in Catholic school. Just that it's a viable alternative when thinking about changing schools (for any reason) for non-Catholics.
Think seriously about homeschool and therapy.
Don't take a chance on it really being a problem with your parenting/raising, or personality disorder (spoiled, bi-polar disease, etc.) with your daughter.
The therapy was suggested because parents tend to be blind to their own faults, as well as the faults/ personality flaws of their children.
Don't get me wrong, most bullying isn't the fault of the victim, but you do need to ask yourself these questions: why are a bunch of kids choosing to pick on my child? Is there something I'm doing that aids this? Is there something my child is doing that is egging it on?
To not self-evaluate would be a mistake. Personal responsibility is important.
Sorry to hear that Jrsygrl, but I was not trying to say there's no bullying in Catholic school. Just that it's a viable alternative when thinking about changing schools (for any reason) for non-Catholics.
Sorry....misunderstood you....but that is an expensive proposition, don't you think? I mean when I was a senior in 1978, the tuition was 900.00....now it's more like 7000.00... and yes, people do send their kids to Christian schools that are not necessarily Christian. My Mom went to Catholic school with a bunch of Jewish children.
LOL tuition was low in 1978 (also my graduation year) because I'll bet a lot of teachers were nuns who worked for free. Tuition at our high school in East Stroudsburg, PA is currently $6100.00 per year, and financial aid is available. You also get a $100.00 break each for your 2nd and 3rd child, and the 4th is free.
I don't know how much tuition would be in Tulsa, OK where the original poster is from but I'd guess it's less than the Northeast average. Depends on the school, and the area.
There are some fancy Catholic prep schools that are prohibitively expensive for most families, but I'm talking about the "regular" Catholic schools, which have largely replaced the old parish schools, and which are within reach for a lot of middle class families.
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and yes, people do send their kids to Christian schools that are not necessarily Christian. My Mom went to Catholic school with a bunch of Jewish children.
