Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Your feelings are probably pretty typical. I did not enjoy high school either, and have never attended any reunions, but I would love to see a few girlfriends whom I have lost touch with. High school seemed to me like a punishment I had to get through before I could get going with life. Little did I know that real life last a looong time, and kids should enjoy their years in school. I know some schools are bad, and now there is danger and bullying, etc.
I am sorry you are so bitter, and I suspect you have reasons. I am glad that all my kids enjoyed school and are still in touch with friends from high school.
I have a grandchild who is graduating this year from HS so my years in HS are too far in the past to carry any significant feelings about them. I do recall that I wanted to drop out and I took auto shop which was much like dropping out.
As it were, auto shop was probably the most useful course I ever took in school and that includes 6 years of college. Possibly this was because my auto shop teacher was a very intelligent fellow. He had patents on aircraft design and his son was valedictorian the year I graduated.
It's always better to fish in the water under the bridge than it is to cast your line in water long past.
I am reminded of an article I read about Somali refugees in the USA, There was a girl whose family fled the warlords in Somalia when she was about ten, and she lived in a refugee camp in Sudan for five years, and then got resettled in Atlanta, where she went to high school, and then moved to upstate New York to start her career as a working adult in a visible minority.. She was quoted in the article as saying "High school is the cruelest place I've ever been."
I remember going to my 25th reunion. It was interesting because I found out which girls I should have dated. Including some of the ugly ducklings.
Of the few people from my High School class that I have met over the years, all the 'popular' girls are fat and ugly and the ones who were rarely asked out turned out pretty good looking. Strange, huh?
I loathed high school with a passion and it was basically because of attending this school (no doubt would have happened anywhere else) that I became a complete cynic about society in general and totally averse to participating in it more than the minimum required. I broke contact with the few people I associated with there (a few of my sibling's friends and a few relatives excepted) and have never tried to reconnect with anyone who attended there - the few people I have seen around that recognize I avoid, although I doubt the recognize me. Even if I learn somebody attended the school at another time I want nothing to do with them (there are a couple quite famous people who went there though, so I might make an exception). Unfortunately, I still live close-by and passing by on occasion is inevitable. Outwardly it's a grand old building, but nevertheless I wish I would never have to see it again. If this was even possible, it will probably not change the fact that I regularly have dreams about the place - many of which generally consist of me walking to school at night entering the school, which is sometimes partial ruins or dilapidated, sometimes deserted sometimes filled with others. I will usually just walk around aimlessly whether or not others are there. I'm not sure why my dreams tend to be of this nature; they're about the closest I get to having nightmares. My only regret is not keeping detailed notes about my time there and my experiences and what I thought of my peers; I would love to write a scathing book about my time there. (I generally was neutral with the teachers - some I appreciate for what they tried to accomplish, though). There was some sort of anniversary celebration a few years ago which I avoided (was somewhat of a flop I understand) and I will never, ever attend a reunion. Without a doubt high school was the four WORST years of my life.
Lol. Hey, laugh a little because it does get better!
I feel very similar to how you do.
I have always been an introvert, socially reserved person, so when I got to high school, well I was disappointed. My only outlet for socialization was band. When I was a junior and senior, then I made friends with the stoner crowd, and marijuana was my best friend for a while.
It's not that I disliked people. I simply never saw an opportunity to relate to my peers in a meaningful way.
After I graduated high school, I attended Oberlin College, a college none of my peers went to. I had high expectations of my ability to express my self there, but it never happened. I became depressed, failed classes, was put on academic probation and came back home. I realized that was not the atmosphere for me.
Currently, I have one more semester at a community college for an education major. I will probably see some high school peers when I transfer to a local college
Anyways, do not put too much significance on your relationships from high school. It's over. Some people place a lot of importance on their times in high school because they may lack meaning in their lives or their time in high school was more preferable to their adult life.
I graduated from high school back in the early 60's in the Central Ohio area. No really bad memories. It was just one of those moments in time that we participate in and then move on to other things in life.
I signed up on Facebook for my high school alumni page. Amazing that for so many folks who are in their late 60's this was the most memorable time in their lives. A lot of them still live in the same city and neighborhood they grew up in. I chatted with an old classmate who told me she hasn't been out of state since 1988.
There was a discussion about our old football coach. The guy is in his 90's and apparently has become something of an icon to the aging sports jocks and cheerleaders who were the class elites back in the day. Not much ever said about the folks who went on to university and held professional jobs.
At any rate I made a mildly negative remark about the coach to the effect that he really wasn't that interest in you unless your were a jock. I was something of a nerd in my teens. Instantly several folks defriended me. Some people are really stuck in a time warp.
haha, I'm still on the lam from my HS alumni association! It's one reason I don't have a FB acc't. For the big reunion a few years ago, they really pulled out all stops to find me, and found an old, defunkt email acc't of mine. *whew* that was a close call. I did my time at that place, and I'm free, now--that's a closed chapter in my life. They need to move on and stop trying to contact us holdouts.
I agree. I could easily make myself known to the people from high school class. They maintain a Facebook page for school alumni. Those alumni association people need to respect boundaries and refrain from searching for people, many of whom probably do not want to be found.
You don't think that, 40 years on, things and people might have changed a bit?
I went to my 40th, the only reunion I have ever attended. I went out of curiosity more than anything but it was pretty good. Some of my friends from the past were there and a bunch of people I never had much interaction with. But the whole thing was civilized. There was only one person still slaying demons from his past - a public prosecutor as well. Fortunately, I wasn't one of those demons . There was no boasting and no posturing but a lot of interest in what we had all done over the years.
And the renewed contacts worked well for me. When my mother passed away I needed a local estate lawyer and, guess what, one of the guys is an estate lawyer. Forty years on he is now the managing partner of his firm and he has been absolutely fantastic despite the fact that at school we never had much to do with each other.
One of the things that I really noticed and appreciated is that the relationship with my old school friends, who I hadn't seen or had contact with in 40 years, seemed to just pick up where we left off. It was really great!
Had a very similar experience at my 40th reunion. It's only the second one I attended, the other was the 20th. I felt like the 40th was a great equalizer, the old stereotypes seemed to have been left behind. My DH also used his 40th for the networking in the same way. Proved to be valuable to find one of his former classmates was a real estate agent in the area when it came to dealing with an estate.
I agree. I could easily make myself known to the people from high school class. They maintain a Facebook page for school alumni. Those alumni association people need to respect boundaries and refrain from searching for people, many of whom probably do not want to be found.
So well put, Dan! I've never understood why they don't take the hint, and leave us alone. What's the point in sending out the bloodhounds? Do they think they'll get money out of us? If so, they're alarmingly clueless.
I graduated from high school back in the early 60's in the Central Ohio area. No really bad memories. It was just one of those moments in time that we participate in and then move on to other things in life.
I signed up on Facebook for my high school alumni page. Amazing that for so many folks who are in their late 60's this was the most memorable time in their lives. A lot of them still live in the same city and neighborhood they grew up in. I chatted with an old classmate who told me she hasn't been out of state since 1988.
There was a discussion about our old football coach. The guy is in his 90's and apparently has become something of an icon to the aging sports jocks and cheerleaders who were the class elites back in the day. Not much ever said about the folks who went on to university and held professional jobs.
At any rate I made a mildly negative remark about the coach to the effect that he really wasn't that interest in you unless your were a jock. I was something of a nerd in my teens. Instantly several folks defriended me. Some people are really stuck in a time warp.
You signed up for a high school alumni site and were surprised they talked about high school? That is what all of the people on that site have in common. Join a site for people in your profession or from your college.
I know lots of people that stayed where they grew up. Why is that wrong if they like it?
That also isn't the place to insult anyone. Most football coaches did not care about non jocks. I can't believe that is news to you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. There was no boasting and no posturing but a lot of interest in what we had all done over the years.
