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First of all, no one is jumping down the OP's throat for being overly dramatic/pushy/helicoptery/tiger mom etc. Wonder if I wrote a post like that under my name...
Second, there at least several posts noting how it's common for smart/gifted kids to end up backsliding because they 'skated' through school finding everything easy and never learned proper study habits. With people citing their own or their kids' experience.
Hmm...if only that could have been prevented by not having things be too easy for them for the first 8 years of school...
Where are all the posters from this thread who have proclaimed how great it was for them/their kids to spend time in school daydreaming and how finding everything too easy didn't hurt their opportunities in the least?
Yes, my kid is only in K. But by the time they're in eighth-ninth-tenth grade and run into this sort of trouble due to lack of organization/study habits etc, it's way harder and too much pressure to try and relearn them while trying to keep on top of schoolwork and sliding grades.
Wouldn't it be so much more effective to start acquiring these things starting in the first grades of elementary? Isn't that what elementary is FOR?
Food for thought.
First of all, no one is jumping down the OP's throat for being overly dramatic/pushy/helicoptery/tiger mom etc. Wonder if I wrote a post like that under my name...
Second, there at least several posts noting how it's common for smart/gifted kids to end up backsliding because they 'skated' through school finding everything easy and never learned proper study habits. With people citing their own or their kids' experience.
Hmm...if only that could have been prevented by not having things be too easy for them for the first 8 years of school...
Where are all the posters from this thread who have proclaimed how great it was for them/their kids to spend time in school daydreaming and how finding everything too easy didn't hurt their opportunities in the least?
Yes, my kid is only in K. But by the time they're in eighth-ninth-tenth grade and run into this sort of trouble due to lack of organization/study habits etc, it's way harder and too much pressure to try and relearn them while trying to keep on top of schoolwork and sliding grades.
Wouldn't it be so much more effective to start acquiring these things starting in the first grades of elementary? Isn't that what elementary is FOR?
Food for thought.
Your issue and the other parent issue is completely different. Stop trying to look for example to justify your over reaction. From the brief description of what the other parent posted, her kid isn't gifted and probably not advanced. Organization and responsibilities during those upper elementary and middle school is a big problem.
First of all, no one is jumping down the OP's throat for being overly dramatic/pushy/helicoptery/tiger mom etc. Wonder if I wrote a post like that under my name...
Second, there at least several posts noting how it's common for smart/gifted kids to end up backsliding because they 'skated' through school finding everything easy and never learned proper study habits. With people citing their own or their kids' experience.
Hmm...if only that could have been prevented by not having things be too easy for them for the first 8 years of school...
Where are all the posters from this thread who have proclaimed how great it was for them/their kids to spend time in school daydreaming and how finding everything too easy didn't hurt their opportunities in the least?
Yes, my kid is only in K. But by the time they're in eighth-ninth-tenth grade and run into this sort of trouble due to lack of organization/study habits etc, it's way harder and too much pressure to try and relearn them while trying to keep on top of schoolwork and sliding grades.
Wouldn't it be so much more effective to start acquiring these things starting in the first grades of elementary? Isn't that what elementary is FOR?
Food for thought.
Again, you have chosen the wrong "food for thought."
Also, you must have arrived at that thread AFTER the mods deleted all the posts that did jump down her throat, AND before her companion thread titled, "I didn't know I would be ATTACKED" was deleted.
That poster was (mostly) not attacked but offered straightforward advice that she also did not want to hear because she, apparently, does not want to consider that she may be part of the problem.
Look within, EvilCookie, and not around for more excuses.
First of all, no one is jumping down the OP's throat for being overly dramatic/pushy/helicoptery/tiger mom etc. Wonder if I wrote a post like that under my name...
Second, there at least several posts noting how it's common for smart/gifted kids to end up backsliding because they 'skated' through school finding everything easy and never learned proper study habits. With people citing their own or their kids' experience.
Hmm...if only that could have been prevented by not having things be too easy for them for the first 8 years of school...
Where are all the posters from this thread who have proclaimed how great it was for them/their kids to spend time in school daydreaming and how finding everything too easy didn't hurt their opportunities in the least?
Yes, my kid is only in K. But by the time they're in eighth-ninth-tenth grade and run into this sort of trouble due to lack of organization/study habits etc, it's way harder and too much pressure to try and relearn them while trying to keep on top of schoolwork and sliding grades.
Wouldn't it be so much more effective to start acquiring these things starting in the first grades of elementary? Isn't that what elementary is FOR?
Food for thought.
So, I've not jumped down your throat at all, so hopefully you will take what I'm about to say in the spirit that it's intended...
This is the parenting forum. Every thread contains someone jumping down someone's throat and implying they are a bad parent. Sometimes it is justified. Sometime it is not IMO. But you are not special. You're just not.
Every time I start a thread on the parenting forum I know I will be attacked somehow, sometimes snidely. Practically every parenting forum in the world is like this. It's one of those subjects where people get super-judgmental. Again, sometimes there is some truth in there, and sometimes people are being nutbags.
No matter what your opinion someone was going to disagree and someone was going to disagree passionately. You're not going to "win" a fight on a parenting forum. Nobody ever does.
So back to the original topic, are you still planning to just wait until October and see what the teacher has in mind, then work with her to devise a plan for your child? If it doesn't turn out you can get what you want from this school, what is your back up plan? In the end, educational strategies have to be customized to each child anyway, discussing generalities can only get you so far IMO.
First of all, no one is jumping down the OP's throat for being overly dramatic/pushy/helicoptery/tiger mom etc. Wonder if I wrote a post like that under my name...
Second, there at least several posts noting how it's common for smart/gifted kids to end up backsliding because they 'skated' through school finding everything easy and never learned proper study habits. With people citing their own or their kids' experience.
Hmm...if only that could have been prevented by not having things be too easy for them for the first 8 years of school...
Where are all the posters from this thread who have proclaimed how great it was for them/their kids to spend time in school daydreaming and how finding everything too easy didn't hurt their opportunities in the least?
Yes, my kid is only in K. But by the time they're in eighth-ninth-tenth grade and run into this sort of trouble due to lack of organization/study habits etc, it's way harder and too much pressure to try and relearn them while trying to keep on top of schoolwork and sliding grades.
Wouldn't it be so much more effective to start acquiring these things starting in the first grades of elementary? Isn't that what elementary is FOR?
Food for thought.
I have not jumped down your throat, but have tried to only offered constructive information. So, again, in that spirit....
That thread isn't really related to what you are talking about here unless you take from it some possibilities you don't seem to want to hear. That child, as the mother explained in the opening post, has been in a gifted program for many years. This is not a problem created by being unidentified or failing to receive gifted services. Her daughter's problem may just be that she was over placed at a young age and has now academically hit a wall. It is not unusual for kids that have been heralded as gifted most of their academic career to quit trying when they hit that wall. Part of the reason for some is that it is emotionally easier to tell yourself you are failing because you aren't trying than to have to admit you aren't as smart as everyone thinks. If your self identity includes "I am really intelligent, I am gifted," being forced to question whether that identity is actually true is really hard. I have watched it happen, and it is hard as a teacher listening to a child tell you no one believed him when he first started saying he was having trouble with the work, being told when he brought home bad grades that he was smarter than that, he feels like a fraud, and it was just easier to not do anything. The OP's daughter in that thread is at one of the milestones that is it common for inaccurately identified gifted students to discover they are not quite as gifted as they thought. Advanced math and science classes, with their non-concrete concepts and objective grading, is often where the rubber finally meets the road.
Please, just enjoy your obviously bright child, and allow him to enjoy his first year of school and interacting with peers. Nothing that happens or doesn't happen this year will have a long term effect for a child who is ahead of the average child.
__________________
When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
Again, you have chosen the wrong "food for thought."
Also, you must have arrived at that thread AFTER the mods deleted all the posts that did jump down her throat, AND before her companion thread titled, "I didn't know I would be ATTACKED" was deleted.
That poster was (mostly) not attacked but offered straightforward advice that she also did not want to hear because she, apparently, does not want to consider that she may be part of the problem.
Look within, EvilCookie, and not around for more excuses.
Well that makes sense, hahah. I wondered at the lack of insults so uncharacteristic for CD, lol.
Not exactly sure what "excuses" you're referring to as I don't see what I should be making excuses FOR
For asking questions, wanting the best for my child and wanting to know what to be prepared for in the future? Or for starting a thread on here about it Well okay. Didn't realize that was a grave offense I needed an "excuse" for
Not exactly sure what "excuses" you're referring to as I don't see what I should be making excuses FOR
For asking questions, wanting the best for my child and wanting to know what to be prepared for in the future? Or for starting a thread on here about it Well okay. Didn't realize that was a grave offense I needed an "excuse" for
... is what you do, so I'm going to do what I used to do with students and just ignore the undesirable behavior.
Instead, I leave this, again, in hopes that it sinks in:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Bullied kids become wounded adults, and it shows up in unexpected and often inexplicable ways.
Remember your epic thread on the Parenting forum about how you made a kid on the playground cry and you were not sorry, etc? And the satisfaction you felt from whispering something mean in his ear, when he wouldn't leave the toy YOUR son wanted to play with, that made him run crying to his mom?
Those kinds of interactions now have the potential to take on a different and more drastic tone as your kids get older. YOUR personal experiences as a victim of bullying and how they affect your parenting decisions are the real subject of this thread, not the state of the educational system or teacher workload or supposed giftedness. When you feel that YOUR son, as an extension of you, is not getting "what he deserves," it can be like a trigger.
I urge you to get professional help for it because every interaction your kids have will be a potential minefield for you as they get older.
... is what you do, so I'm going to do what I used to do with students and just ignore the undesirable behavior.
Instead, I leave this, again, in hopes that it sinks in:
I understand it's fun to play virtual psychotherapist but I don't believe I asked for input on my mental health in this thread. It was some fairly simple and straightforward questions about something I wasn't yet familiar with in real life..
Wanting the best opportunities for your children is a pretty common parenting trait not exclusive to me far as I know and has little to do with being a victim of anything.
Nothing I asked or did here or in real life regarding this has been so extreme or obscene that it warrants all this serious concern for my mental well-being, honestly. So far it's been one email and one forum thread where all I was doing is prodding and exploring our options and gathering information, not just for the moment but for the future. This is something I believe any involved parent would and should do, that other parents around me do, and that I wouldve done regardless of my experiences with bullying or anything else.
I am being very truthful in saying I really don't understand the reason for all the outrage. If you believe it's feigning denial you're welcome to your opinion but its absolutely unsubstantiated.
Hi EvilCookie,
I hear your frustration and, as the parent of a (now grown) son who was very similar to yours at your son's age, I totally understand where you are coming from. I remember having many of the same worries and fears as you're expressing when my son was in kindergarten.
Over the next sixteen years, your son will have great teachers, OK teachers, a few duds, and probably one or two truly horrible teachers. At times, you'll feel stressed and uncertain about this -- that is normal and something most thoughtful parents go through, even if their kids aren't gifted.
But, it's also highly likely that after this year, kindergarten isn't going to matter much in the greater scheme of your son's life. If your son is as curious, self-directed, and fascinated by learning at age five as it sounds like he is, then he will end up being that way in third grade, middle school, high school, college, and at 25, 35, and 45 ---- even if he's bored to tears with kindergarten.
Trust me on this: a few years from now, you won't even remember the kindergarten teacher's name. She simply isn't going to be all that important in how things turn out for your son in the long run.
You should, of course, continue to advocate for the best educational experience possible for your son, even if that means tough choices at times without knowing what the outcome will be. At the same time, do encourage your son to advocate (politely of course!) for himself too if he feels he needs to know more than the teacher is offering (my son drove his kindergarten teacher mad with his constant questions).
But, try not to stress too much about his kindergarten experience too much if you can possibly do so.
Your son sounds terrific, and as long as he is relatively happy, healthy, and safe at the end of each day, things will work out in the long run even if Kindergarten is a bomb.
Again, I'm not saying you shouldn't care about, or advocate for your son. All kids need that, and your son is lucky to have such an involved parent! However, when I look back on things now, I really wish I hadn't wasted SO much time while my kids were growing up worrying about stuff that didn't really matter in the long run. Now that they're both adults, I wish I could go back and worry less and enjoy my kids more!
In short, pick your battles, fight them well, but let the small stuff stay small (and kindergarten really is a minor part of your son's education).
Best wishes to you and your son (please give him a little extra hug for me tonight --- I miss those days!)
Last edited by RosieSD; 09-29-2015 at 04:56 PM..
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Well okay. Didn't realize that was a grave offense I needed an "excuse" for 
