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You seem to be working awfully hard to blame your parents for something. Why is starting your career at 23 instead of 22 a big deal? Why did you only have friends your age in college? You were probably in classes with students of different ages, but you didn't make friends with any of them? That's unusual. And why was going to a bar on your birthday so important? Honestly, I find that hard to believe. Why not have a party in the dorm or wherever you lived, with your friends? That part makes no sense. It's also unclear why you had to break up with a 17-year-old girlfriend. You didn't explain that, and frankly, it's not believable. It sounds made-up.
Now, having said all that, I agree that most kids shouldn't be redshirted. If enough parents redshirted their kids, then the majority in the class would be a year older than the starting age for the class, so in order to give a kid an advantage, parents would have to enroll kids 2 years late, instead of one. It could lead to the absurdity of redshirt inflation. Complete nonsense.
Bright kids need to start kids on time, or they could end up bored with school, and could become underachievers. I've known people who dropped out of highschool, because they weren't challenged enough. Parents need to stop trying to game the system. It definitely can, and sometimes does, backfire.
My son's birthday was 3 days before the cutoff date and while we could have sent him, we held him back. It never caused a problem and he always had kids his own age in his classes.
When he was kindergarten age we were living in Florida and it was quite common for kids with late birthdays too be held back. But by late birthdays, I mean within a month or so of the cutoff date.
At the school he attended the kids were grouped by age, with the older K's (those who were 6 by December) grouped in the same class and they followed a slightly more advanced curriculum.
So if your child has a summer birthday, send them on time.
"On time" is relative. A few decades ago, a summer birthday meant that you were in the middle of your class, age-wise. Not anymore.
Kids born in the summer are now the youngest in their kindergarten class, and since that puts them at a distinct disadvantage academically, many parents hold them out, for good reason. This is especially true for boys, who mature later than girls.
The amount of misinformation in the OP is bizarre.
Just the stuff on the idea that a teenager who turns 18 has to break off a relationship with someone a year younger should be a red flag to anyone reading this stuff. Or couldn't find a prom date but due to being 18? Not true.
For those of you who don't know, redshirting is the act of delaying a child's kindergarten entrance by a year. Some parents do it in the hopes of giving their kid an academic advantage. While that may work at first, it hurts the child in the long-run. Here is my experience.
I was born on July 3rd, and made the cut-off in my area by a solid 2 months. However, at the advice of my pre-school teachers, my parents decided to wait until I was 6 to put me in Kindergarten. At first, it was pretty awesome. I was taller than most of my classmates and better in sports. The problem, however, was that some of my classmates thought I was dumb, because I was a grad behind. A lot of them didn't seem to understand that it wasn't my choice to start school a year late. In high school, it was really awesome being the first to drive, as all my friends thought I was really cool. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school that I realized my parents may have done me a disservice. It really sucked to be stuck on a high school campus as an adult. High schools are not designed for adults which is why I felt so out of place my senior year. If a 17-year-old tried to pick a fight with me, fighting back wasn't really an option, because I was an adult and they were a minor. I also had to break up with my current gf, since she was a year shy of her 18th birthday when I turned 18. When prom rolled around in the spring, my options were limited because a lot of the girls were still 17. That was why I was really excited to start college. By the 2nd semester of my freshman year, almost everyone was an adult, so I felt like I fit in once again. My junior year, however, I hit another bump. I turned 21 right before my junior year, but because my friends were 19 and 20, I couldn't go to a bar for my birthday. And throughout my junior year, if I wanted to go to a bar, I would have to go by myself, and if I wanted to hang out with my friends, I couldn't go to a bar. But it was my senior year of college when I truly realized that my parents had done me a disservice. That was the year I should have been starting my career and earning real money, but instead, I was still stuck doing homework and studying for exams. I entered the real world and started working at 23 instead of 22, a year late. To this day, I still feel behind. When I retire, I'm probably going to have less earnings than I would have otherwise, and every time there's a mile-stone, such as buying a new house, or getting a promotion, I keep thinking, "I would have been doing this one year earlier." So remember, while it may not seem like a big deal for a 5-year-old to be in pre-school instead of elementary school, that child will one day be a 22-year-old in college senior instead of out in the world and earning money.
I'm currently having this issue with DS, who was born on August 5th. His pre-school teachers have been strongly advising me to redshirt, but because of my experience, there is no way I'm doing this. He may not be a star athlete and he may not always be at the top of his class, but so what? My job is to prepare to become a self-supporting and successful adult and to teach him that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy. I've learned from my parents' mistake and I want to make sure that he doesn't get a late start in life like I did. I also don't want his classmates thinking there's something wrong with him.
So if your child has a summer birthday, send them on time. They'll be thanking you when they're 18 and in college pursuing their dreams rather than still in high school and they'll thank you again when they're 22 and in the real world instead of still in college.
Those are all valid points. But keep in mind that somebody who is the youngest in their class will have all of the same problems, but in reverse.
[quote=Ruth4Truth;47976985]It's also unclear why you had to break up with a 17-year-old girlfriend. You didn't explain that, and frankly, it's not believable. It sounds made-up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
The amount of misinformation in the OP is bizarre.
Just the stuff on the idea that a teenager who turns 18 has to break off a relationship with someone a year younger should be a red flag to anyone reading this stuff. Or couldn't find a prom date but due to being 18? Not true.
I'm guessing that the OP was worried about being considered an adult when his girlfriend was a minor, due to consent issues.
Ignoring the question of whether the OP is even real our son was a mid summer birthday, right at the cut off. The school recommended we hold him back a year so we did. There have been pros and cons. On the pro side he has been more mature than most in his classes, making him a leader in his classes and it school which has carried over into to other things such as scouts and ROTC. The downside, mostly during elementary and middle school is most youth sports were based on age rather than grade. So on sports teams he was playing with kids who were his age but a grade higher. Meaning most of his friends weren't in the same grade. It's less of a problem in high school where the sports teams cover multiple grades and classes have a variety of ages in them.
In the end a net positive for the leadership, but not so much I'd call it a decisive factor either way.
Oh, and assuming the OP is real, that year you're worried about? You won't even know it exists by the time you're 35.
It wasn't very common to red shirt a generation ago. I remember the kids who got held back - they did have a certain stigma attached to them, although it was more the kids who repeated grades, than anybody starting late.
It is VERY common these days now and there are no negative social implications, at all.
There are some valid arguments against red shirting, but OP isn't making any of them.
I think being 19 and still in high school can have social implications. Feeling too old to be there; classmates feeling you're too old to be there. The OP's child would be 19 and a senior.
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