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Hi all. I have had a brief search on this topic but could not locate this issue. We are debating whether it is worth the cost to put our children in private schools (20K per year x 2 kids) to make the connections that may come about later in life from having friends who are well connected. Before anyone claims this is not so, I can tell you based on a few years in elementary school we have made friends with well positioned families. Some families we just didnt click with but others are now cherished friends. We moved to a great school system (the previous not so much) and have confidence in the public schools, so now if the education is comparable - is it worth the cost for social connections? I thought I was the only one who saw it this way until I mentioned it to a few co-workers and they raised the social connection as the reason for choosing private. I find it an interesting issue. Thoughts?
When I first read your post I thought you meant the connections for college- that, I agree with. I think the top notch private schools do have great college counselors with strong connections to colleges all over the country. That's worth going private for, in my opinion. As for friends, I think rich people tend to form lasting friendships with other rich people. As for the kids being friends with each other...maybe.
I suppose it could depend on the area. I wouldn't go private for that reason in my home state of Minnesota; plenty of the "well positiioned" families send their kids to public schools.
The top public schools have great connections with the colleges, too. I wouldn't go private for that reason, unless you have reason to believe that your local public schools won't provide a decent education.
I wouldn't make this a tipping point in your decision. Some of the biggest stars of the future might just as easily come out of your public schools, especially since it sounds like they're good. There's also no guarantees that you or your kids will remain friends with their friends from a younger age, and I'm assuming you don't want to unintentionally send them the message that they should pick their friends solely on potential future connections.
I'd say go with whatever school best meets your childrens' needs, but don't worry about the network factor. If networking with the private school crowd is important you could get that through non-school specific sports, summer programs, etc. Your kids will have plenty of time to meet "well positioned" students during college, and those relationships are probably going to be far more relevant and meaningful, anyway, as they're going to encompass both kids who were born into wealthy/powerful families as well as those who are making it on their own.
If your private and public systems are comparable, though, I would expect that a number of families who could choose either will also go with public, but again, that depends on your specific community's culture.
Connections are important but they aren't everything. Even if you are well-connected, you have to be competent.
I advocate private schools b/c the level of education is usually higher. Moreover, the social culture is totally different, and also one I prefer. Kids at public schools--at least the ones that I have experienced--are usually divided into cliques (because the school pops tend to be larger) and are obsessed with pop culture and materialism; they're priorities are to become "consumers" rather than "leaders." And, yes, students at private schools tend to go on to more lucrative careers. However, it isn't just b/c of connections; it's a different mentality.
It really depends on what your own mentality/priorities/principles are, what you want your kids' to be and what school is going to accomplish that.
I attended private schools in the DC metro area from K to 12. Though our suburbs have wonderful public schools, I think that the quality of the education at the time really was better at some private schools. At my high school, all English courses in the 11th and 12th grades were considered AP, everyone graduated having taken pre-calc, nearly everyone had several AP courses completed by graduation. As well, the school took the time to address topics that public schools would never touch: Ethics instruction was explicit and implicit, and we were required to take a comparative religions class. Class sizes were smaller and we had intimate, challenging discussions that prepared me very well for college seminars.
However, I felt outside of the primary social networks. Joining the school in the 7th grade, many of the relationships were already established. As well, for those who didn't grow up in the well-connected social circles, going to the same school as those who are doesn't automatically grant you entry. Your family must be a good fit for the culture of the school if you are to fully enjoy the social opportunities it provides. Upon graduation, however, some alumni networks can be helpful to new graduates seeking jobs and young professionals climbing the corporate ladder.
In terms of the advantages that private schools provide, I'd say that college admission is the key metric. Then again, this is only the case if a "name brand" college or university is something that you value (and can afford after paying private school tuition). The school I attended had a 100% college acceptance and attendance rate, all at tier I institutions. In fact, of the about 70 students in my graduating class, around half went on to attend Ivy League schools as undergraduates.
If you look at the time-value of money and the total cost of attendance, it's unlikely that social connections are going to pay off. Assuming a four percent annual tuition hike, the total cost of high school is going to be $85k per child plus books and fees. For private school to be "worthwhile" on the basis of social connections alone, you have to assume that those connections will bring a six figure return in your child's early adulthood in terms of the professional opportunities that will be available to him/her. You also have to look at the opportunity costs of other things the tuition money could have gone toward. Could you use that $170k to provide academic enrichment and other social opportunities for your children? Will you or they have to take on debt to pay for college after paying for elementary and secondary private schools?
For many families, private school is perceived as worth the investment. However, I think that most of those families weigh the overall quality of the education and all of the opportunities it provides their children when they make that value judgment.
Hi all. I have had a brief search on this topic but could not locate this issue. We are debating whether it is worth the cost to put our children in private schools (20K per year x 2 kids) to make the connections that may come about later in life from having friends who are well connected. Before anyone claims this is not so, I can tell you based on a few years in elementary school we have made friends with well positioned families. Some families we just didnt click with but others are now cherished friends. We moved to a great school system (the previous not so much) and have confidence in the public schools, so now if the education is comparable - is it worth the cost for social connections? I thought I was the only one who saw it this way until I mentioned it to a few co-workers and they raised the social connection as the reason for choosing private. I find it an interesting issue. Thoughts?
All of the following is predicated on the notion that the education at the private school is not significantly better than you would be able to provide outside of the private school:
If the money is not going to be a stress, then it is a worthwhile thought.
If the private school is not one in which class issues would still get in your children's way, then it is a worthwhile thought.
If your goal for your children is the kind of life that connections from private school are going to be more important than everyday community connections, then it is a worthwhile thought.
If the money is tight enough that spending on this would prevent your sending them on other opportunities, then not doing it is a worthwhile thought.
If the private school is more homogeneous than the public school, then not doing it is a worthwhile thought.
If your children are going to think "wouldn't that money have been better spent feeding an entire village for a month or a year?" then not doing it is a worthwhile thought.
Good luck with your decision, from somebody who went to both public and private schools.
Hi all. I have had a brief search on this topic but could not locate this issue. We are debating whether it is worth the cost to put our children in private schools (20K per year x 2 kids) to make the connections that may come about later in life from having friends who are well connected. Before anyone claims this is not so, I can tell you based on a few years in elementary school we have made friends with well positioned families. Some families we just didnt click with but others are now cherished friends. We moved to a great school system (the previous not so much) and have confidence in the public schools, so now if the education is comparable - is it worth the cost for social connections? I thought I was the only one who saw it this way until I mentioned it to a few co-workers and they raised the social connection as the reason for choosing private. I find it an interesting issue. Thoughts?
It depends on the caliber of the school. If it's an "elite" school in your area, then yes, the cost of tuition worth t for the connections not to mention a better education.
Connections are important but they aren't everything. Even if you are well-connected, you have to be competent.
I advocate private schools b/c the level of education is usually higher. Moreover, the social culture is totally different, and also one I prefer. Kids at public schools--at least the ones that I have experienced--are usually divided into cliques (because the school pops tend to be larger) and are obsessed with pop culture and materialism; they're priorities are to become "consumers" rather than "leaders." And, yes, students at private schools tend to go on to more lucrative careers. However, it isn't just b/c of connections; it's a different mentality.
It really depends on what your own mentality/priorities/principles are, what you want your kids' to be and what school is going to accomplish that.
This is highly dependent on where you live. It was the opposite where I went to school; some kids were extremely wealthy, some were on welfare, and a lot were in the middle. I knew a lot of kids, of both very wealthy and just middle class backgrounds, who went to private schools (met them through outside activities) and they were the ones who had to deal with pressures to wear the "right" thing, not to mention a lot more pressure (and the financial means to do so) to drink heavily and indulge in some hardcore designer drugs. Not to say that for some kids in my public high school may have felt pressure -- I never felt it, though, and from what I've heard from more recent graduates I don't things have changed -- but one of the benefits of the public city option was that the economic diversity tended to have a leveling effect.
And yes, my public school was just as good as the local private schools, just more diverse. I was lucky to live in a city with some well-regarded public schools, but that just highlights the fact that much of this is highly dependent on location, on the specific schools, and on the kids themselves.
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