In-Laws (Eugene: mortgages, loans, deed)

[verysadwife]

I have this issue and need some help. Recently my brother in law had called to talk with his brother a few times about some of my posts on facebook. The last things he called about was so absolutely stupid. He called his brother to ask how his married is going and if everything is ok with us and whats going on with us. My husband asked his why and he said well did you know that your wife posted on facebook that she had a bad birthday... He reply to him that he knew that was posted; because I told him. Then his brother proceeded to say other things like did you know she has this guy on her facebook as a friend? He replied yes I do. Well anyways it all came down to my husband saying to me that he didnt trust me with a facebook page; and its all thanks to my brother in law. So anyways I left a message on facebook (a post) stating some false information to see if he would call my husband and tell him about it; sure enough he did. But what he didnt know is I already told my husband what I had did, so it blew up on him. I explained to my friends on their what was going on and they all understood, but here is the real problem. I wrote my brother in law a message stating that he needed to stay out of other people's relationships and that it wasnt his business to tell my husband things I write assuming he doesnt know. Well he called his brother later that evening asking him if he knew what I had wrote to him and he said no. So he told him, which isnt a big deal anyways. But he then told him that him and his wife will no longer be communicating with us anymore. So he totally disowned his own brother and me for really no reason but the reason he created. but their is more to the story. I then received a call from my brother in laws ex wife asking me about this drama going on. Apartently she had heard from my mother in law.. "great" . Well I explained what really happened and apparently my mother in law throught really bad thoughts of me but the main concern was that my niece's were on my facebook page seeing all this going on between me and their dad. Well I assure you I had already deleted them off my page including my own son before all this started. I didnt want them or my own son seeing anything going on. but I was kind of offended that my ex sister in law had to talk to me about it instead of my mother in law. So I told my husband but he said he didnt want to get involved so I called her my self. I got information I never wanted to hear, but I voiced mine to her and havent heard from her since. I was very respectful and calm. So here is my issue. How do I deal with being around my brother in law and mother in law now? I mean this is very childish and I have never done anything wrong to either one of them. But here is some insight on him. At my husband bday party a couple weeks before all this he showed up drunk and throwing up and bragging about being drunk in front of my son; before that his wife stole my muscle relaxer pills from our bathroom and he's an alcoholic and drug user. My mother in law is absolute wonderful except nieve. My poor husband is caught in the middle of all this and I dont want to be in this anymore. This guys is just not right everywhere he goes he's causing drama, not only in our lives but as well as in his wives family too. So I need advice. We have an up coming poker party with the family and he has already said he's going, which is weird but he his and I dont know how to deal with this. Especially if he has already ran his mouth to his mother, who else has he lied to about me? I'm I just worried to much and I should just go or should I just let my husband go? I dont know and need some advice. thanks for listening

[Steve Pickering]

You need to get over facebook, stop posting your life online and get help (Somewhere beside the internet).

This is not the forum for a tell-all or seeking psychiatric or Marital counciling.

[oldtrader]

Anyone that posts personal information on facebook, is asking for problems. I know of one young woman that went to a party when her husband was out of town and ended up having sex and posted this to facebook. Just about busted up the marriage. Lots of divorces are reported to be caused by facebook postings.

Experts say, that the average under 25 person that posts on facebook on a regular basis will have to change their name by the time they are 30 to be even able to get jobs, etc. due to what type of personal information they post.

People are being turned down for jobs, based on what they and/or their spouses post on face book. Also being turned down for mortgages and loans, etc.

When you put something on facebook or other such site, you placing your future at risk.

[Minervah]

Didn't you realize that posting on Face Book just added fuel to your brother-in-law's fire? You know what kind of person he is so you should have figured he would use any information you posted to start trouble.

I don't know what you can do about the current situation except to just let it blow over. And drop Face Book. You don't need it.

And please get some professional marriage counseling.

[ukiyo-e]

What does this have to do with Eugene??? People come here looking for information about a town or city, not the personal lives of the people who live there (assuming you even do).

[Steve Pickering]

You would think a student at the UofO would be a little smarter. But you are correct. This should never have been posted in any forum.

[1208]

you guys actually read that?

[lauramc27]

There really is nothing you can do. The deed is done. The next time you see them, be polite.

Let this be a lesson, never post personal info on any social network.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by verysadwife

I have this issue and need some help. Recently my brother in law had called to talk with his brother a few times about some of my posts on facebook. The last things he called about was so absolutely stupid. He called his brother to ask how his married is going and if everything is ok with us and whats going on with us. My husband asked his why and he said well did you know that your wife posted on facebook that she had a bad birthday... He reply to him that he knew that was posted; because I told him. Then his brother proceeded to say other things like did you know she has this guy on her facebook as a friend? He replied yes I do. Well anyways it all came down to my husband saying to me that he didnt trust me with a facebook page; and its all thanks to my brother in law. So anyways I left a message on facebook (a post) stating some false information to see if he would call my husband and tell him about it; sure enough he did. But what he didnt know is I already told my husband what I had did, so it blew up on him. I explained to my friends on their what was going on and they all understood, but here is the real problem. I wrote my brother in law a message stating that he needed to stay out of other people's relationships and that it wasnt his business to tell my husband things I write assuming he doesnt know. Well he called his brother later that evening asking him if he knew what I had wrote to him and he said no. So he told him, which isnt a big deal anyways. But he then told him that him and his wife will no longer be communicating with us anymore. So he totally disowned his own brother and me for really no reason but the reason he created. but their is more to the story. I then received a call from my brother in laws ex wife asking me about this drama going on. Apartently she had heard from my mother in law.. "great" . Well I explained what really happened and apparently my mother in law throught really bad thoughts of me but the main concern was that my niece's were on my facebook page seeing all this going on between me and their dad. Well I assure you I had already deleted them off my page including my own son before all this started. I didnt want them or my own son seeing anything going on. but I was kind of offended that my ex sister in law had to talk to me about it instead of my mother in law. So I told my husband but he said he didnt want to get involved so I called her my self. I got information I never wanted to hear, but I voiced mine to her and havent heard from her since. I was very respectful and calm. So here is my issue. How do I deal with being around my brother in law and mother in law now? I mean this is very childish and I have never done anything wrong to either one of them. But here is some insight on him. At my husband bday party a couple weeks before all this he showed up drunk and throwing up and bragging about being drunk in front of my son; before that his wife stole my muscle relaxer pills from our bathroom and he's an alcoholic and drug user. My mother in law is absolute wonderful except nieve. My poor husband is caught in the middle of all this and I dont want to be in this anymore. This guys is just not right everywhere he goes he's causing drama, not only in our lives but as well as in his wives family too. So I need advice. We have an up coming poker party with the family and he has already said he's going, which is weird but he his and I dont know how to deal with this. Especially if he has already ran his mouth to his mother, who else has he lied to about me? I'm I just worried to much and I should just go or should I just let my husband go? I dont know and need some advice. thanks for listening

LET YOUR HUSBAND GO? I am guessing your husband is a grown man who has already been raised and can make his own decisions about spending time with his family whether you like it or not.

Otherwise stay off of Facebook OR quit putting your entire life out there for everyone and HIS BROTHER to read. If you put it out there voluntarily you should expect someone to find fault with it.

It also sounds to me that you are just as much of a drama queen as your brother in law.

[Steve Pickering]

There is a whole generation that watch housewives etc . on TV and expect, even desire, drama in their lives. Read the original posters other posts and you will see she fits that generation.