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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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What country are you in? I'm also an American woman (of Hispanic descent) married to an EU citizen. However, we have one language in common: Spanish (Latin American Spanish from me, European Spanish from him). I would love love love to live in France, or learn French, especially since it is so close to Spain & when we have children, we want to move back to Spain to be close to his side of the family.
Also, we are thinking of Central America (Costa Rica or Panama) so I can teach English.
I think intl. schools can be a blessing &/or a curse. It's important for students to be friends w/ locals as well as the other intl. students, if all they can associate is with kids period, it won't be good for their societal development.
Being that I was a child of parents who lived in different countries, I would say that if you want to move back to the USA, I would do so before your daughter enters high school. High school is a defining time in a teenager's life. so since your daughter is 12, you need to move very soon or not at all.
I can't believe you still have language barriers after six years in a foreign European country. How is that even possible? I've heard some stories about locked up muslim women in small apartments facing that problem, but a Western woman in Europe..? If I ever moved to a new country which had a language I didn't know, I would make that my number one priority to be fluent in it asap. Especially if this was my spouse's native country. May be native English speaking people have a different mentality when it comes to this, compared to those of us who speak a minor native language.
Here in the US, there are plenty of long term residents that cannot speak any English, at least not enough to hold even the most basic conversation.
Heck, three of the valets at my condo building cannot speak any English at all, and they have worked here at least as long as I have lived here, which is going on four years.
First of all, let me assure you that I can speak husband's native tongue and without an "annoying" American accent all day long, it would be exhausting but I could do it. It is not too common for Americans to know this language as it is not offered commonly in the US, not in high schools or language schools and you would have to really look hard in most cities in the US to find a teacher who would be willing to give lessons. I am proud to have learned such an uncommon language to the degree that I have but it is a difficult language to master. Especially when evryone speaks English as a second language here and once they figure out that you are an outsider will immidiatly switch into English.....and treat you like an outsider.
As someone else posted earlier, we live in a country that is very hard to assimilate. Not only that, we live FAR from the big capital or any major metropolitan city where you would commonly find multinationals. Locals keep what is for them, a comfortable distance from the international community. my husband is a local but even he himself is treated as an outsider! We did not intend to live like this, we are surprised at how we have been treated!
We were ONLY supposed to be here for 2-3 years, why would we want to make our kids local anywhere when they could be international like everyone views us and labels us when are in the US and/or in Europe???? When we are in the US, we are labeled European, when we are in Europe, we are labeled American. . Interestingly, Most Americans think our Europeaness is cool, fun and we are accepted but sadly most Europeans automatically cast negitive judgement on us because of our American connection. Where can win? Yeah, thats why I am tired of making the effort, thats why the International school had felt more safe and comforting to me and my family in the past but it's time to move on!
For the last three years, husbands company has kept us on hold to transfer back to the US. At any minute, they could send us on to another location. It has been so frustrating to live under such uncertainty and is why we never consider to put our kids in a local school, how confusing that would be for our kids to assimilate anywhere here? For myself getting a job? Im not an EU citizen, it is not allowed even though I am married to a EU citizen. I have volunteered locally and took several courses over the years but it hasnt got me very far here. Just cant wait for the husbands boss to make a decision anymore, I think its time to take matters in our own hands at a huge cost by taking the pay cut.
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
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Now knowing a bit more about your situation (If you had mentioned this before, the comments would have been way different), I think you are right in wanting to return to the USA.
In the end what do you think is more important ?
Money or the happiness of your family as a whole ?
Yes money can buy a lot of things, but never true happiness !
In our case, we had nothing but good experiences form living in Europe for quite a while.
(I lived 10 years in Europe as a teenager)
When we left (we did it twice - lived in two countries - 8 in one and 3 in the other, and the kids attended local schools both times), the neighbourhood had tears in their eyes saying good bye to us, and our kids were actually very disappointed that they had to go *home*.
It took them quite a while to get used to USA living.
For months they were asking me if I could find a job in Europe again ...
That was 20 years ago, and today our children only remember the good things.
Hi, I get what you are saying. I lived in a small European country for a year with our 8 y.o. son. He attended an international school system. We happened to like the school as it was an English speaking school. My son really learned a lot that year. I liked the small classroom setting vs. back here in the states several children assigned to one teacher. He definitely had more opportunities such as learning foreign languages, other cultures etc.,
I also understand what you are saying about the coffee/tea scene! That is such a common thing when you are in Europe. In my experience, I found it hard to fit in with the other Americans because they were so use to packing up their bags every couple of years and moving on to the next country. They had a certain edge to them . I found myself making friends with the locals who understood a little English. Depending on what country you are in, there really is only so much you can do in the run of a day! Some of the European countries have so little compared to what we are use to that it can be frustrating, but that is okay for them as that is all they have ever known. I remember longing for peanut butter vs. Nutella (sp?).
Why don't you try taking an online class (providing that your internet server doesn't keep getting disconnected like ours did)? I hope this works out for you. I am so glad I experienced one year in Europe as it makes me appreciate what we have here in the USA even with all the crazy politics.
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. Interestingly, Most Americans think our Europeaness is cool, fun and we are accepted but sadly most Europeans automatically cast negitive judgement on us because of our American connection. Where can win? Yeah, thats why I am tired of making the effort, thats why the International school had felt more safe and comforting to me and my family in the past but it's time to move on! 
