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A little information about me is that I lived in Southern California my whole live (19 in a half years) Until 2 in a half years ago, I moved to the Netherlands with my husband. In California I've always been happy, love going out, and just doing things. I love living in the Netherlands and think our future would be a lot better here than in California. Especially since the crime is higher and a lot of people struggle pay check to pay check living in California. In the Netherlands, I especially love how bike friendly it is here and how close everything is. The economy and health care are also great. There is just so much more benefits here than California, especially since we want children in the future.
The first year to year in a half we moved here, I was alright even though the cold climate was really difficult to me in the winter. That might sound funny since the Netherlands is considered to have a "Moderate winter" but it feels extremely cold to me being from California. Even now, I absolutely hate the winter here and never have gotten use to the cold which is something I wonder why. I thought after being here for a while, I would get use to the climate and adjust, but I am just as miserable as the first day. But that isn't the worse part for me. The past year in a half, something has been seriously wrong with me. When the sun is shining and not too cold, I'm happy, love being out, and everything is wonderful. But as soon it is dark, cold, and rainy, my mood changes drastically. I get extremely depressed, want to sit inside and do nothing, feel like crying, just want to sleep, feel like I have no self confidence, don't want to be near anyone, just want to be alone, have no energy at all, just want to sleep, want to eat more junk food, miserable, Fatigued, lash out, and just want to give up on everything. It really is horrible when I start feeling like that, especially since I can't control it and I just can't get myself out of that mood when I'm like that. But I just want to know why this suddenly happened and how I can make it a little better. Could this be caused by the climate change? Because I was always use to living in a climate that's always sunny? Then I'm suddenly in a place that is rainy/cloudy/cold 9-10 months of the year? Could that have possibly caused it?
It's really sad since I would love to stay in the Netherlands, but I'm not sure how to handle this. I also have become obsessed with "climate" and a desperate need to go somewhere warm to live or even vacation. When I get like that, I have a desperately to get out of here and go anywhere else. That's not how I really feel though because I enjoy being here. Right now it's only September, so the weather is starting to get pretty bad here. It has been raining, cloudy, and gloomy for over a week. The symptoms have already started to appear and it's been difficult for me to handle. I'm terrified since I know it's going to get a lot worse when November-December arrives. I've tried using a Light therapy box, but it hasn't helped much. I would love any opinions, suggestions, or even experience from someone that has gone through a similar thing
Hard to say for me, I am from Southern California but I kind of like cold grey weather and some rain. I miss some things about San Diego but the weather is really not a big deal.
If you are in NL do as the Dutch and travel a lot. Get some proper clothes and get out during the winter, do lot´s of sports outside... I have 2 weeks off in October and am so looking forward to a week in NL windsurfing. Outdoor stuff get´s better when it cools down a bit.
The Netherlands and adjacent areas are cold, rainy and overcast most of the year. You probably have seaonsal affective disorder, and are not well-suited for such a climate.
Move to Mediterranean Europe, or back to Southern California.
I had experienced more or less the same situation moving from Southern Spain (with a weather more or less similar to Southern California) to Brussels, Belgium, very similar weather to the Netherlands.
If you feel you need professional advice, by all means get some, but I will throw some tips and hints that help me to overcome grey, sad and cold winters in Brussels:
1 - Vitamin D: get to any pharmacy and ask for vitamine D. Or talk to your doctor and tell him/her.
if you are in a sunny place, vitamin D gets naturally metabolised. if not, you need to get a supplement. I usually take 4 pills, one each saturday, at the beginning of every winter.
2 - Plan a break (or several) to somewhere sunny!
by now you should have realised how cheap low cost airlines are in europe and how easy is to go somewhere in southern italy, portugal, spain, greece, turkey or morocco for a short break (even for just a weekend, no need to take days off!) Do this at least once in wintertime. Preferably more. If you book well in advance is cheap. And you will know more places in Europe.
Get to a gym or swimming pool or some other sport that can be done indoors. Exercise at least 2/3 times per week
5 - Invite people to your house
Organise dinners, Saturday tea-times, or just plain booze-parties at home from time to time. You will have all the fun of having people around and forget about having to go out in the pouring rain to get it.
Move! Back to SoCal! You are young yet, and it`s not going to get any better the older you get.
Once you are settled in Holland - it will be worse for you to move.
Light therapy won`t work, since you have a relatively large amount of daylight where you are. Light therapy works on Northern Hemisphere - closer to Artic circle.
It`s either the heat or American way of life you are missing. Probably both. Tell whoever holds you in the Netherlands - take it or leave it.
No Wonder the OP suffers from SAD syndrome having moved from SoCal to the NL, where the average sunshine hours are less than 1500 hours/m vs more than 3000 in SoCal! particularly in winter and late fall it must be difficult to endure!
Gosh, even spending a Christmas in Amsterdam coming from a city as northerly as Paris I was schocked by the gloom and the early darkness (around 3:30), it was also (slightly) colder than Paris.
were you able to make any friends? it is not a reflection on you if you have trouble doing so; it can be hard to in a new country. that could bring you down. worse yet, winter comes along and you dont get to go outside and get that social connection to people like you can in summer. that would be very depressing for a young outgoing person.
we have been here two years and we havent figured out yet how to make winter fun. but i have one friend now so i have that going for me which is nice.
i like what kikebxl says. all good ideas. here in the Netherlands get a museum jaar kaart - free admission to a bunch of museums. gets you out the house.
church? they always have groups of some sort. they have a church with lots of young people in the hague at the nieuwe kerk. theres an american church as well. maybe you can meet similar minded people.
library - they have these lil libraries / community centers with all sorts of classes. some are really cheap.
bar - expat bar maybe? sherlock holmes on sumatrastraat.
there is an 'international clinic' at the end of the scheveningseweg. its for people who dont want to go to a dutch doctor and hear 'come back in two weeks if it is still bothering you.' maybe you can get an answer to whether your condition is physical or mental. that way you have a better idea on how to handle it.
Wow everyone! Thank you so much for the sympathy and support! It really means a lot to me. I've been feeling so alone lately. Especially since everyone here thinks I'm over reacting and being over dramatic. My husband was very sympathetic and supportive when it first started happening. But the last half year, he's been getting annoyed and angry easier when I'm in those moods. Which I understand since he's not use to seeing me like that and he's not use to dealing with that. But I know he loves me to death and would do anything for me. He said he's even willing to move to California if it makes me happier! I would feel so selfish and greedy if I did that that though, especially for just weather. He's lived in Holland his whole life and absolutely loves it here. He would also have to leave his family and friends. It was easier for me since I really only had my Aunt and brother. I'm also worried how he would do in California or if he would even like it there. Of course he's visited California a lot, but it's different than living there. I wonder how some people are able to adjust easier. I see some of the posters say to get out and do things more which I do! I go 5 days a week to the gym for at least 93 minutes, am out walking every day, and me and my husband always go out on the weekends to do something. I do have a few close friends here which I spend time with as well.
When me and my husband were first dating and I went to the Netherlands for the first time, I absolutely loved it here! Everything cultivated and amazed me. It was a whole new experience, especially since I never been outside of California really, let alone in Europe! I would come in the winters to spend Christmas with his family and especially in the summers to escape the heat from California. The summers here are now something that I don't look forward too now. The whole year in Holland for me is depressing since 10 months are glommy, rainy, dark, and depressing. What 2 months of summer we have here can barely be considered summer. There pretty cold, but thankfully there is plenty of light! I decided to move to the Netherlands with my husband since we thought we would have a better future here. Of course it was a culture shock when I first moved here, but that wasn't too bad. The biggest shock for me was the climate/weather difference. That has been difficult for me to handle. It would be sad to move away from the Netherlands since we have been starting our new life here for over 2 years. I almost got Dutch citizenship, I've been taking lessons to learn Dutch, my husband loves his job here, we were considering buying a house here, and we were even planning to start our own business here. We wanted to start a online pet store business which I think would do great here, especially since huge pet stores like Petco or Petsmart don't really exist here. I think that would be a lot more difficult to do in California due to all the competition. I seen a poster recommend moving to a Mediterranean country in Europe. The only Mediterranean countries I know of are Spain, Portugal, Greece, and Italy. Unfortunately all those countries have bad employment rates, a bad economy, and are especially difficult to live in only speaking English. All the other European countries seem to have dark gloomy winters and not much light.
I should mention that of course I absolutely love California and it will always be my favorite place! How can it not with the perfect weather and it being the place I grew up! I really do love both California and Holland equally. Just the weather in Holland is what gets to me unfortunately. It is sad because I believe we would have a better future if we stayed here. Everything is just so much better! The health care, Dental, the government, the employment, the benefits (More vacation time, Paid Maturity Leave, Can't be fired from your job without a real valid reason, ect), transportation, water quality, safety, Retirement, Food quality (Not necessary the taste but less chemicals, hormones, sugars, food coloring, ect), better air quality, decent pay, ect. Just everything really. I would feel like we were down-grading if we went from here to California.
I honestly love living here in Holland and would love to continue our future here. But I'm not sure if that's a smart decision since I'm not sure if I can truly be happy here. It is such a hard decision to make and I hate feeling selfish for wanting to live in California. I hate how the winters here in Holland affect me so much. I hate myself since I have no reason at all to feel depressed and I have a great life. It would really suck to move our lives and have to start over. Especially since my husband is so happy here. He would move to California if I wanted, but I would feel so selfish asking that of him. We would have to give up a secure and great life here to move somewhere we could end up living pay check to pay check with a uncertain future. I'm worried if we would be happy there besides the climate.
Last edited by tigerbolt; 09-16-2015 at 11:10 AM..
OP, some Californians go through what you're experiencing just by moving to Seattle. They move away eventually.
It wouldn't be selfish to move back to CA, as long as your husband could find a job, if you're that miserable in Holland. But before you give up, try the lamp recommended by another poster, and discuss it with your doctor, as well. Some doctors prescribe an air ionizer for SAD, and have been getting good results. It puts negative ions into the air (giving the air a negative electrical charge), and imitates the feel of the outside air after a spring rainshower, or the air at the beach around the crashing surf. Have you ever noticed how exhilirating it feels to walk outside after a rain shower? It's because of the negatively-charged air (falling water causes that). Google "ionizers", and read about it.
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