Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
…On this thread, the manager is the one who rightfully appears to be problematic even socially weird. IRL at that gym, does the OP risk being gossiped about by a manager who does-not-get-it in a way that makes him appear sympathetic to patrons and OP the problem?
If so, this may or may not be an issue for OP.
Thanks. Yes, I could be blackballed at the club, or expelled, if I have a run-in with the manager.
The gym is part of a country-club type club. I laughed when I saw a magazine article describing it as one of the most exclusive clubs in the area, since my friends who join clubs that cost five figures per year certainly consider it a “lesser” institution. It’s not in the South. People in the gym are not friendly, certainly not as friendly as in other gyms that I’ve belonged to.
Thanks. Yes, I could be blackballed at the club, or expelled, if I have a run-in with the manager.
The gym is part of a country-club type club. I laughed when I saw a magazine article describing it as one of the most exclusive clubs in the area, since my friends who join clubs that cost five figures per year certainly consider it a “lesser” institution. It’s not in the South. People in the gym are not friendly, certainly not as friendly as in other gyms that I’ve belonged to.
The only thing I can think of, is that maybe he thinks it's his "job" to keep you happy with the gym, by chatting with you. Sort of like he thinks that if he doesn't talk to you, you will feel "lonely" and run away to another gym that doesn't make you feel "excluded. Maybe he's one of those people.
Either way, contact his superiors. This clearly needs to stop since you are a paying customer and don't want to be bothered.
Thanks. Yes, I could be blackballed at the club, or expelled, if I have a run-in with the manager.
The gym is part of a country-club type club. I laughed when I saw a magazine article describing it as one of the most exclusive clubs in the area, since my friends who join clubs that cost five figures per year certainly consider it a “lesser” institution. It’s not in the South. People in the gym are not friendly, certainly not as friendly as in other gyms that I’ve belonged to.
A few things: first, since my curiosity has gotten the best of me, does GSP stand for Garden State Parkway? Wondering if this is in NJ.
Second, if it were me, I would re-evaluate some things at this point. It sounds like you are serious about your workouts, yet your description of the club sounds like it's elitist, somewhat snobby, and frankly a little toxic (considering you mentioning being blackballed), which is antithetical to what should be the positive vibe of a gym. Would someone faint if you grunted doing deadlifts? Clutch their pearls if you did a clean and jerk? Is it that kind of place?
My updated $0.02: it sounds like you want to stay there. At this point I'd have another conversation with him, keep the soft landing approach but make sure he hears you. If he doesn't, and he keeps it up maybe go to the next manager above him and say, "hey, mind if I talk to you about so-and-so?". Keep it constructive, maybe let the manager know you enjoy the atmosphere and clientele there and you are happy being a member there (a lot of power in those words if they have their priorities correct). Don't make judgment calls but say something like "a few times I've been pressed for time and ______ hasn't let me off the hook with conversations, you have any suggestions on how I can let him know without making him feel like it's personal"? That manager's reaction is going to tell you everything you need to know about your next steps.
Being honest here: if they give you a hard time, I'd strongly consider going elsewhere. If you like the club for other reasons, remain a member and just do your workouts elsewhere, but I would hate to think that my penance for being a member is to be married to unwanted conversations and, frankly, someone who doesn't understand boundaries (whether that person is neuro-typical or not). You've set your boundaries nicely so far, at some point you may have to take a harder approach with reinforcing them.
The club that this gym is part of is great, and the gym is very nice and large, and really inexpensive (since it’s a nonprofit, I guess supported by club dues). So I don’t want to leave.
The manager has worked at the gym for 30 years so I figure management would take his side in case of a dispute. So I think your suggestions are great, keeping things low-key.
The gym, and the club that it’s attached to, are great- very civilized and certainly the nicest gym that I’ve ever belonged to, and really inexpensive.
You live in Joisey now? Last time it was S Carolina. And GSP was the Greenville Spartanburg Airport. You move around alot.
1. You are an attorney that attended an Ivy League school. I would think you can easily deal with this manager as you have learned the negotiation skills.
2. Since when is a country club non profit. The members pay very high dues. My dad was a member of a country club.
And - how is this topic relevant to exercise and fitness????? How is this helping folks learn to work out and be healthy.
This belongs either at the least in the people in the gym that bug you part here or over in the non romantic forum where you, as an attorney were unsure of how to handle a conversation with a female co worker.
Thanks, everyone, for the feedback. I took my “Please Do Not Disturb” lanyards (is that the term?) to the gym and practiced saying, “I am working out now. I can talk before the workout or after.”
But today I just scooted away whenever I heard him coming (the gym is pretty large) and the one time I had to walk by him, I just looked away and walked quickly.
So he didn’t speak to me. But he was really loud today and was talking at someone for 20+ minutes about his family.
I’ll be prepared again tomorrow.
If you don't want to talk to him, why say you can talk before or after your workout?
I think the best suggestion you've gotten is to tell him this is your only alone time, when you are working out, and you don't want to chat. Period.
Thanks, everyone. I have my “Do Not Disturb” badge and have practiced saying what people recommend above.
Every day this week, I’ve been able to scoot away from him before he can trap me. I hear him talking at me, but I’ve been ignoring it; I haven’t acknowledged him or even looked at him.
So every day he starts talking at me, but I’m far enough away that I can just avoid him. Yet he keeps talking at me for a while until he goes away. Then I see him walk around the gym, jumping up on treadmills next to people who are running and talking at them, too. Unfortunately enough people seem to stop their workouts or otherwise talk to him that he gets some validation that he may think that his behavior is normal.
The next day, same story.
If I spoke to someone and the person ignored me once, I’d think twice before speaking to the person again. But he keeps at it.
You're a paying customer who shouldn't have to put up with this crap. This is borderline harassment. He is causing you stress and you did nothing wrong. This guy does not have normal social skills or may have a medical condition like autism. Management needs to be told about him. You could write to the branch manager and give him a chance to remove this guy from a public contact position or threaten to take your business elsewhere. Might get their attention if they know this guy is costing them clients. It sounds like you could probably get a petition going against him if he talks to everyone else while they're trying to work out.
At the gym this morning, in the locker room, I mentioned to another member how kind he was to stop running on the treadmill when the manager jumps up next to him. He said that he actually didn’t like it but figured that it wasn’t a battle worth fighting.
Long story short, his wife is sending a letter to the manager, telling him to stop. She’s not a club member so the manager can get mad at her all he wants.
I didn’t see the manager there today but have been practicing.
(Snackmaster, thanks for your post and I like your handle!)
Long story short, his wife is sending a letter to the manager, telling him to stop. She’s not a club member so the manager can get mad at her all he wants.
I didn’t see the manager there today but have been practicing.
)
That's kind of odd though--why would the manager care what some guy's wife, who doesn't even belong to the gym, says about his personality? Any blowback would still be on the member, so why not just say something directly?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
