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I am a member of a gym that is part of a private club (like a country club or the like). It’s a nice place and there are very strict rules about members’ behavior, including no rude treatment of staff.
I work out in the mornings. I like to go to the gym then. I cannot go later in the day. I wear headphones or earphones when I work out, and I listen to music. I really don’t like being interrupted.
However, the gym manager won’t leave me alone. Every morning at the gym, he’ll come up and start talking at me about random topics, such as work or current events. He does this when I’m working out. For example, I’ll be running on the treadmill, listening to music, and he’ll interrupt. I’ll be in the middle of a set of lifting free weights, and he’ll interrupt. When I ignore him, he’ll come within inches of me, waving his hands within inches of my face (which I ignore until he goes away). Or when I’m running, he’ll stand there and talk at me.
Would you just keep ignoring him, as eventually he’ll go away?
Would you tell him, “Leave me alone!”?
Would you ask his boss (the club’s general manager) to tell him not to interrupt people who are in the middle of workouts or listening to music?
Would you ask him and his boss for a meeting to discuss why I’m not allowed to work out, and ask for a refund of gym dues?
I’m thinking that I should keep ignoring him. It seems rude but that is better than telling him to leave me alone, I think. But ignoring him means that he’ll come within inches of my face when I’m running on the treadmill, waving his hands and talking at me, which is really disturbing.
Thanks.
Last edited by GSPNative; 10-23-2022 at 11:55 AM..
I’d tell him I can’t talk and workout at the same time. If that doesn’t do it and he continues I’d say, “I’ve told you I can’t work out and chat and you’ve ignored that. I need you to leave me alone when I’m exercising.” If it still continues then I’d go to the manager.
Just curious, are you male or female? Or one of the multitude of other choices?
I’d tell him I can’t talk and workout at the same time. If that doesn’t do it and he continues I’d say, “I’ve told you I can’t work out and chat and you’ve ignored that. I need you to leave me alone when I’m exercising.” If it still continues then I’d go to the manager.
Just curious, are you male or female? Or one of the multitude of other choices?
Do you greet him and say "good morning" when you see him, or do you ignore him all the way? You can definitely set your boundaries that you don't want to talk while you're actively exercising, but he also seems to want to build a rapport with the clientele, so you can be cordial on your way in and out of the gym. If you haven't told him that you don't want to chat during your workout, he doesn't know that. You don't need to tattle on him just yet.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 10-23-2022 at 12:54 PM..
Do you greet him and say "good morning" when you see him, or do you ignore him all the way? You can definitely set your boundaries that you don't want to talk while you're actively exercising, but he also seems to want to build a rapport with the clientele, so you can be cordial on your way in and out of the gym. If you haven't told him that you don't want to chat during your workout, he doesn't know that. You don't need to tattle on him just yet.
This. Look, the details of the location may not be identical, but the situation isn't all that different from a workplace or some other space shared by multiple humans. For example: if I was continually being interrupted during my lunch break at work by someone who wants to socialize, I'd approach it in basically the same way. I would first assume that their intentions were good, but they simply don't realize they're intruding. Most people IME aren't mind readers. If I don't want to socialize, it is up to me to say something. OTOH, most people will get the message if I set them straight. Yes, there are people who are more clueless about their behavior than others so I may have to send the message more than once. Tell him your workout time is your chance to focus on yourself, no one else. For you it isn't social hour. Be civilly direct and be consistent. If he still doesn't get it after a couple of direct face to face explanations (not just in passing while doing something else...stop, give him your full attention), send a letter to the gym management requesting clarifications to employee/customer conduct. If that still doesn't work, find another gym and tell the management precisely why.
Are you the only one in the gym at that time of day? I'm wondering if he's bored, and is hijacking your workout time to provide himself with some company and entertainment.
The bit about asking for a refund because you're not being allowed to focus on your workout or do what you need to do to enjoy the experience (the music), is an interesting one. But post #2 has the right approach, I think. Similar to how disciplinary action works on the job: first a couple of warnings, then you escalate, taking the grievance to the next level. But give him a chance to correct his behavior, first.
I say hello but then walk away when he starts talking at me. I got trapped in a few conversations with him a year or two ago and he would talk at me for 15 minutes; ruining 1/4 of my workout hour.
When he’s waved his hand inches from my face (recently), I completely ignore it. I don’t ever start a conversation with him.
I thought that a universal gym signal was “if I’m wearing headphones, don’t talk to me”.
I say hello but then walk away when he starts talking at me. I got trapped in a few conversations with him a year or two ago and he would talk at me for 15 minutes; ruining 1/4 of my workout hour.
When he’s waved his hand inches from my face (recently), I completely ignore it. I don’t ever start a conversation with him.
I thought that a universal gym signal was “if I’m wearing headphones, don’t talk to me”.
By ignoring or walking away, you are leaving him guessing. You're avoiding giving him the response/hints he so obviously needs. There's an old saying about silence implying consent.
The next time he starts talking at you or waving in your face, SAY SOMETHING...
Excuse me, I'm on a tight schedule and need to get going on my workout...
Excuse me, but I really need to focus right now...
This is my time to focus on my fitness goals. I'd prefer not to socialize. Thanks for being understanding!
Last edited by Parnassia; 10-23-2022 at 04:39 PM..
It feels like there's more to the story here. Generally, yeah, it's a social norm to not talk to someone with headphones on, but it's also odd behavior to walk away from or not acknowledge someone who's trying to talk to you or get your attention. Even if you don't want to strike up a conversation, this isn't a stranger on the bus, this is an employee of a business you patronize regularly. Is he just making small talk, or is there something that he's trying to tell you, like you're using equipment improperly or taking too much time on the machine?
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