Originally Posted by TracySam
I once said I wanted to write a book about "the adventures of a girl with average looks" but I never did. I'm older now, in my 40s, but in my 20s, I probably peaked at maybe a "7" (maybe an "8" on a really good, rare day). I'm probably now a "5" or "6" as I can pretty much guess that half the people I run into will look better than me, and half will look worse.
I think that once I got out of my teens, I didn't feel any need or desire to be a 9 or 10. I don't like standing out in a crowd or bringing attention onto myself, at least for my appearance, so being in the middle of the pack looks-wise is just fine with me. For people who need attention, I know they'd be bothered by that.
As soon as I realized that I'd never be beautiful (in my late teens) I decided that it was okay, and I'd much rather be known for being smart and/or funny. So I don't really need (or want) attention for my looks. When I can crack someone up, that makes me feel better than being told I'm pretty or (ech!) hot. I'm not one of those women who doesn't care about appearances at all, and decides to dress schlumpy, not wear makeup, or not shave her legs because it's "superficial." I do all the basics; I just don't over-do it.
I try to keep in shape, dress decently, and fix myself up, but I'm not striving to be something I'm not. That's just sad when you see people doing that. Besides, it's much better when you say that you think you're a 5 or 6 and have people then tell you that you're being too hard on yourself, than to act like you think you're a 10, and have people say that you're not all you think you are.
Another thing I discovered, back in my 20s, is that us average girls are more likely to get freaky stalkers than the super-good-looking girls. You'd think it would be the opposite, that guys who are inclined to stalk or "pursue someone not interested" (if "stalk" is too harsh a word for you) would be drawn to the gorgeous among us. But I think that they see us average women as maybe more attainable, in their mind, and they pursue (and pursue, and pursue.) Maybe the super-gorgeous girls are better at turning guys down and being firmer about it, or even mean about it. I've had too many guys decide I'm "so nice," and "easy to talk to," blah, blah, blah, probably because I didn't just walk away from them early on.
I've had three separate, unrelated, non-ex-boyfriend guys in the past whom I'd consider stalkers. I kind of think that's a lot, especially since I did nothing to encourage it, and since I'm only average looking. Thank God I don't deal with that anymore! And nearly every woman I've met who says she's had a (non-ex-boyfriend) stalker is basically in the average range, and would probably rated a 4-7 in an empirical study. I know one extremely beautiful woman who says she's had a stalker. This is non-scientific of course, but to me the numbers of average women who have been stalked were overwhelming. Keep in mind that stalking by ex-boyfriends is a whole other thing.
On the bright side, in my going-out-to-bars years, I always had guys trying to talk to me and buy me drinks, probably because I'm not intimidating like a "10" would be. Being in the middle means you're seen as more approachable, I suppose. Sometimes I thought I'd like to be at one of the extremes so I wouldn't be so "approachable."
Women who NEED to be seen as attractive, I think, are at a disadvantage. Even the 10s won't always be 10s. Then what do they have left?
Anyway, that's my "average" perspective.
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