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I know you are trying to model yourself into this "perfect man" specimen that will make women fall in love with you - but honestly, I think you just need to spend more time trying to be yourself and figure out who that even is. What's going to happen when you meet a girl that you want to go out with - are you going to keep asking her everyday what clothes you should wear, what soap to use, which jokes to laugh at, what movies you should like, etc.? At the rate you are going - I feel like you are going to get to a point where you don't even know who you are anymore!
^^^^
THIS!
She's right -- and I KNOW she's right because many years ago when I was much younger, I was that guy, hoping to figure out what women "really" want.
Here's the answer, pal. I'm doing you a real service here, so pay attention:
THIS woman adores facial hair.... but also thinks it doesn't look so great on that guy over there, nope... he's much nicer looking clean-shaven.
THAT woman absolutely HATES facial hair; hates the way it looks, hates the way it feels, even has a real problem with guys who try to grow it because of some issue she had with an ex-. She just HATES it... but she also finds it quite attractive and dignified on Sean Connery. No one else. Just him. But when he was younger he looked better without it, you know? But now it's okay. I mean nice. But just him.
This woman likes huge, bulging muscles; that woman likes muscles, but prefers a leaner, more streamlined look. That woman over there actually finds a little bit of pudge -- not huge, drooping belly but pudge -- attractive on a guy, but only likes guys with glasses and neat hair.
That woman over there... no, not her -- the one behind her... SHE only dates rockers and bad boys. The woman next to Rocker Chick? She thinks Rocker Chick is an idiot whose taste is in her arse.
There IS no perfect formula -- none, zero, zip, zilch, nada, niente, nichego -- NONE which is going to "make" you attractive.
You want to attract women?
Stop and ask yourself this very serious question: What do you have to offer?
Now, when I say that, DON'T go off into the Netherworld of rue and lament over the notion that if they all want something, then women must all be gold-diggers. Some are; but NOT anything like the whiners in here would have you believe.
EVERYBODY wants something. Everybody. It's just like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs when it comes to relationships.
Right now you're lonely and starving... so you don't want anything unrealistic, you just want companionship and love, affection, sex, that happy romance.
But you get that... and after you've had that basic need met, you seek higher fulfillment. You've GOT this girlfriend... only now instead of seeing that she's met your basic needs, you're starting to see the needs she's NOT meeting.
What's that? No, not YOU? You're not that shallow? If YOU found "twue wove" YOU'D recognize it, treat it like the treasure it really is? Kudos for that... only it's not as true as you think. If you had that girlfriend for a while and she started turning out to be kind of selfish and inconsiderate... how long would you put up with that just for the sake of having a girlfriend? How long before you wake up one day, find that she "borrowed" the cash in your wallet yet again without telling you, dirtied your dishes and went home without saying goodbye before you stop and ask yourself whether this is worth it?
So having had that baseline of needs met, you want MORE.... until you lose that girl and after a while you're starving again.
NOW....
Back to the question: What do you have to offer? A kind, caring, honest soul? That is spectacular and absolutely AWESOME, it really is -- only, she can't see your soul from across the room, can't observe your bestest, super-duperest most awesome soul during work meetings or moments in the elevator. That's Hollywood tripe, pap-fed to masses who want answers to questions they don't even know how to ask because they don't want to do the work.
I've written it elsewhere in these forums, but I'll put it here for you.
One of the most amazing things I've ever heard is how unbelievably close to THE ANSWER, the TRUTH of TRUTHS of dating that drunk guys come to during a drunken whining binge following either getting dumped or rejected.
"I'm gonna show her... I'm gonna show ALL of 'em! I ain't wastin' my time with women no more, nope!
"I'm a-gonna get back to school and finish my education, get a GOOD job making lots of MONEY.... and I'm gonna start goin' to the GYM, get in great shape.... and I'm gonna get back into my HOBBIES, just be HAPPY and spend my time takin' care of ME.
"THEN they'll see what they been missin', an' they'll be sorry..."
They're so amazingly close to the answer it's unbelievable; but then they spend the next week turning their genitals orange by watching pronos and eating Cheetos, get back into rue-and-lament mode, forget all about those sacred vows involving service to themselves... and nothing changes.
Here's the thing: If that guy is "gonna START" doing those things... then they haven't happened yet, have they? And if they don't yet exist... then those evil, selfish women... well, they aren't really missing those things yet, are they? The idea of a unicorn is just darned spiffy... but I don't MISS them, because they don't exist. I miss seeing certain birds I never see anymore, I miss certain freedoms I once had, but I don't miss the unicorns because those were never there in the first place. And I'm certainly not missing OUT on them, am I?
If you're thinking that selfish broad should be trying harder, be more open to seeing your soul, looking inside, then let me ask what you see across a crowded room: Her soul, or her boobs? Her soul, or her arse? Her soul, or whether she looks like fun? Her soul, or whether she looks approachable? Her soul, or whether when you walk up and say hi, she suddenly goes glum and creeps you out?
TAKE CARE OF YOU and stop worrying about the perfect model or perfect formula.
If you're happy with you, LIKE who you are and what you do, it will get downright easy.
Yes, depends on the man! If he is hot he could have either a clean shaven face or a bit of hair and still look good! HATE beards, YUK. Imagine food getting caught in there!!! Not keen on moustaches either...they look pretentious.
How can something that's completely NATURAL be pretentious??
If all you want is sex, then play the childish games -and get what you deserve - shallow mindless meaningless interactions that predictably end.
But for a real satisfying relationship with someone who shares your hopes and dreams and goals and beliefs, try concentrating on who and what you can become.
She's right -- and I KNOW she's right because many years ago when I was much younger, I was that guy, hoping to figure out what women "really" want.
Here's the answer, pal. I'm doing you a real service here, so pay attention:
THIS woman adores facial hair.... but also thinks it doesn't look so great on that guy over there, nope... he's much nicer looking clean-shaven.
THAT woman absolutely HATES facial hair; hates the way it looks, hates the way it feels, even has a real problem with guys who try to grow it because of some issue she had with an ex-. She just HATES it... but she also finds it quite attractive and dignified on Sean Connery. No one else. Just him. But when he was younger he looked better without it, you know? But now it's okay. I mean nice. But just him.
This woman likes huge, bulging muscles; that woman likes muscles, but prefers a leaner, more streamlined look. That woman over there actually finds a little bit of pudge -- not huge, drooping belly but pudge -- attractive on a guy, but only likes guys with glasses and neat hair.
That woman over there... no, not her -- the one behind her... SHE only dates rockers and bad boys. The woman next to Rocker Chick? She thinks Rocker Chick is an idiot whose taste is in her arse.
There IS no perfect formula -- none, zero, zip, zilch, nada, niente, nichego -- NONE which is going to "make" you attractive.
You want to attract women?
Stop and ask yourself this very serious question: What do you have to offer?
Now, when I say that, DON'T go off into the Netherworld of rue and lament over the notion that if they all want something, then women must all be gold-diggers. Some are; but NOT anything like the whiners in here would have you believe.
EVERYBODY wants something. Everybody. It's just like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs when it comes to relationships.
Right now you're lonely and starving... so you don't want anything unrealistic, you just want companionship and love, affection, sex, that happy romance.
But you get that... and after you've had that basic need met, you seek higher fulfillment. You've GOT this girlfriend... only now instead of seeing that she's met your basic needs, you're starting to see the needs she's NOT meeting.
What's that? No, not YOU? You're not that shallow? If YOU found "twue wove" YOU'D recognize it, treat it like the treasure it really is? Kudos for that... only it's not as true as you think. If you had that girlfriend for a while and she started turning out to be kind of selfish and inconsiderate... how long would you put up with that just for the sake of having a girlfriend? How long before you wake up one day, find that she "borrowed" the cash in your wallet yet again without telling you, dirtied your dishes and went home without saying goodbye before you stop and ask yourself whether this is worth it?
So having had that baseline of needs met, you want MORE.... until you lose that girl and after a while you're starving again.
NOW....
Back to the question: What do you have to offer? A kind, caring, honest soul? That is spectacular and absolutely AWESOME, it really is -- only, she can't see your soul from across the room, can't observe your bestest, super-duperest most awesome soul during work meetings or moments in the elevator. That's Hollywood tripe, pap-fed to masses who want answers to questions they don't even know how to ask because they don't want to do the work.
I've written it elsewhere in these forums, but I'll put it here for you.
One of the most amazing things I've ever heard is how unbelievably close to THE ANSWER, the TRUTH of TRUTHS of dating that drunk guys come to during a drunken whining binge following either getting dumped or rejected.
"I'm gonna show her... I'm gonna show ALL of 'em! I ain't wastin' my time with women no more, nope!
"I'm a-gonna get back to school and finish my education, get a GOOD job making lots of MONEY.... and I'm gonna start goin' to the GYM, get in great shape.... and I'm gonna get back into my HOBBIES, just be HAPPY and spend my time takin' care of ME.
"THEN they'll see what they been missin', an' they'll be sorry..."
They're so amazingly close to the answer it's unbelievable; but then they spend the next week turning their genitals orange by watching pronos and eating Cheetos, get back into rue-and-lament mode, forget all about those sacred vows involving service to themselves... and nothing changes.
Here's the thing: If that guy is "gonna START" doing those things... then they haven't happened yet, have they? And if they don't yet exist... then those evil, selfish women... well, they aren't really missing those things yet, are they? The idea of a unicorn is just darned spiffy... but I don't MISS them, because they don't exist. I miss seeing certain birds I never see anymore, I miss certain freedoms I once had, but I don't miss the unicorns because those were never there in the first place. And I'm certainly not missing OUT on them, am I?
If you're thinking that selfish broad should be trying harder, be more open to seeing your soul, looking inside, then let me ask what you see across a crowded room: Her soul, or her boobs? Her soul, or her arse? Her soul, or whether she looks like fun? Her soul, or whether she looks approachable? Her soul, or whether when you walk up and say hi, she suddenly goes glum and creeps you out?
TAKE CARE OF YOU and stop worrying about the perfect model or perfect formula.
If you're happy with you, LIKE who you are and what you do, it will get downright easy.
THANKYOU< THANKYOU< THANKYOU - just close the thread now
I PRAY he takes the valuable wisdom you have shared with him to heart
I'm already in college.
I'm not happy with my outer appearance or who I am.
There's nothing you guys can say that will change my ideals because at the end of this when I turn off the computer and continue with this pursuit I receive a massive amount of positive feedback from women.
Girls who use to turn their head in disgust will now try to spark up a conversation with me or stare and smile.
It's too early to call how much attention I will get because I just started fixing myself up but I'm already seeing results and its making me more confident and happy. I won't change in this aspect.
I'm already in college.
I'm not happy with my outer appearance or who I am.
There's nothing you guys can say that will change my ideals because at the end of this when I turn off the computer and continue with this pursuit I receive a massive amount of positive feedback from women.
Girls who use to turn their head in disgust will now try to spark up a conversation with me or stare and smile.
It's too early to call how much attention I will get because I just started fixing myself up but I'm already seeing results and its making me more confident and happy. I won't change in this aspect.
Originally Posted by marilyn220 Everything you talked about is somewhat true, but I think what really attracts women regardless of looks is CONFIDENCE aka "Swag".
I've been attracted to men who were not physically what I liked, but their confidence was so up there that I was able to overlook it.
I've also met men who fit my physical ideal, but were boring and lacked "swag", so it didn't work out.
Keep that in mind as well while you're going through your makeover.
Good thing the poll is not anonymous! You can see all full-bearded "ladies" who voted for the full beard! How can middle-aged and past it men be so ridiculous is beyond me! Your beards won't become any more likeable just because you vote fraudulently!
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How can middle-aged and past it men be so ridiculous is beyond me! Your beards won't become any more likeable just because you vote fraudulently!
