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Don't ever mistake celebs like Beyonce as a celebration of true black beauty.
Exactly, Beyonce looks like a browner version of Barbie with wavy hair.
In the 70s, it was "in" for black men to to be darker, and have "natural hair. In the 80s, it was "in" to be light skinned with a "texturizer."
Unfortunately the standard of beauty for black women is more like "look a lot like someone who is white, but have a couple of ethnic features and a slightly darker skin tone. Just dark enough to be considered 'exotic' but not dark enough so you'll be clearly identified as 'black.' Especially if you have a wider nose and bigger lips."
I really don't think skin tone has much to do with beauty. There are gorgeous men and women of all colours, and I'm not just saying that to act "politically correct".
I think people who grew up in areas where they socialize, especially as kids, among people of many skin tones, end up just taking a variety of skin/hair colours etc. for granted. Very often people think someone looks exotic (either making them look more attractive or less attractive to them) simply because they have not seen many people who look/looked like that in the areas where they were raised.
Absolutely... I'm not considered classically attractive and have had so many comments made about my body that if I didn't have such thick skin I'd probably spend most of my day crying in my room. It's gotten a bit better as I get older, but even in work meetings my opinions were never given The same amount of consideration as we're the comments made by our pretty blonde marketing director.... Even when they were the exact same suggestions.
Ladies do you or have you ever felt overlooked by men in favor of other women and do you feel that you are at a disadvantage because of your looks, age, personality or other qualities? And finally do you think men are unfair to women by doing that?
I assume you are referring to dating?
The only time I ever felt like I was overlooked was when I was 13. My best friend was definitely a looker, but more so she was a ****, so it didn't really bother me. I wasn't going to even TRY and compete with her. I just stepped to the side and let all the boys fall all over her!
I'm not in the dating scene now. Though I guess I wouldn't feel "overlooked" if someone didn't pay me attention, I'd just assume I wasn't his type.
I really don't think skin tone has much to do with beauty. There are gorgeous men and women of all colours, and I'm not just saying that to act "politically correct".
I think people who grew up in areas where they socialize, especially as kids, among people of many skin tones, end up just taking a variety of skin/hair colours etc. for granted. Very often people think someone looks exotic (either making them look more attractive or less attractive to them) simply because they have not seen many people who look/looked like that in the areas where they were raised.
Unfortunately, in communities of "color," the "mixed" people are generally considered "better-looking" than their "unmixed" counterparts. Especially when the mixing occurs white a group of a lighter skin tone. This happens in the black community, some asian communities, the south asian communities, and also most latino communities as well. Colorism is pretty rampant, but it isn't a topic that is widely discussed.
"Exotic" is a code word, and frankly insulting for all parties involved, you might think it is paying someone a compliment, but I find for most people who are described that way, it really just heightens their experiences of not feeling like the belong to any group.
Well let me just hop onto my high horse as I say, yup, my friends have expressed this feeling to me. I'm tall and thin and not terrible to look at so I attract a fair amount of positive attention out and about. My friends have told me, only half serious and without spite, that they hate going out with me because I always get all the attention.
Of course, at the time they said this they had serious boyfriends and I was single after a string of brief relationships. Having a physical advantage only gets you so far.
I was at a disadvantage until my early 20s because of my height. It used to upset me that all the cute (aka shorter) girls seemed to get the guys in high school and a lot of girls & guys were verbally nasty to me about my physical appearance, but even back then I still wouldn't trade my height for the world. The positive response from people far outweighed the negative people.
Once I hit 21 or so, I started to own the room. I'm not exceptionally good looking, but my height combined with my fit body (and larger chest) seemed to give me a lot more options than my friends. I was never left standing alone very long. I learned to "market" myself a bit better, if you will.
And even though I'm off the market now, it seems as if the advantage is all mine among my peers.
Ladies do you or have you ever felt overlooked by men in favor of other women and do you feel that you are at a disadvantage because of your looks, age, personality or other qualities? And finally do you think men are unfair to women by doing that?
I used to feel like this. But I've grown into loving who I am as a person. Definitely a Work In Progress. I am getting older so I do feel like men will go after the young'ns before they will try to talk to me.
I do agree with the poster who mentioned the skin complexion. And I think it is very unfortunate! I have a beautiful "super model-ish" friend who has a darker complexion than I do. She is thin with an hour glass shape and flawless skin which I always envied. I have quite a few obvious scars from when I was in an accident. However, I am working on my confidence. And I'm thin, but not as thin as her.
Anyways, we went to a secluded beach one time in Biloxi, MS and this white guy was flirting with us the whole time. I thought when we parted ways, he would ask my friend for her number, but he asked me instead! I was extremely surprised!
Amongst my circle of friends, I've always been the one that got the most attention. However, there were a few occassions where one friend of mine(who is tall, athletic and thin, where I am short, curvy and average size) received more attention. It bothered me--only because I was use to getting the attention, but the guys commented on her long legs so I knew that obviously they were attracted to that quality(long legs) and I simply don't have it. I've always wanted to be thinner and taller--so even with the attention I got, I still felt that because I was short and curvier looking that I was somehow inadequate.
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I'm not exceptionally good looking, but my height combined with my fit body (and larger chest) seemed to give me a lot more options than my friends. I was never left standing alone very long. I learned to "market" myself a bit better, if you will. 
