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When I worked at a corporation, there was a very nice, hard working, intelligent, but unattractive woman who was passed over for promotions. It really bothered me because it was really obvious that there was a prejudice based on appearance. I had the look management liked and was promoted, however I didn't work the late hours this other woman worked and although I worked hard and produced results, I would say that the other woman deserved the promotion more than I did.
I worked in marketing communications and when I worked for another group in the same corporation, I was actually told that one of the reasons I was hired was that I looked "marcomy" (short for marketing communications). Typically, the people working in marcom were attractive women who dressed nicely.
So, I've witnessed the unfair treatment of the less attractive women. It's not an imagined slight.
On the other hand, there are downsides to being attractive. I'm now sixty years old and still get unwanted attention from men. I do nothing to invite this attention. I don't dress provocatively, or flirt. In fact, I avoid men as much as possible. I'm married and my husband is the only man who I want attention from. Gossip gets back to me about how men talk about me and it's really disturbing. For instance, two men were talking about who had the best boobs in our senior community and were overheard saying they thought that I did. Mind you I never wear low-cut tops, or anything that would invite comments like that. I thought that at my age this kind of thing wouldn't happen anymore. I'm so sick of it. I feel like hiding. I avoid going out unless I'm with my husband. Anyway, there is a downside whether you are pretty, or not. I think that probably the best thing is to be really average, so you blend in.
Maybe this is based on region but where I live it seems that plainer/unattractive women have it easier in the workplace. (unless your work at a bar/stripclub/etc where looks matter) There are more plain than good looking women at most of the jobs that I've worked, so they all worked together to get the pretty girl booted out. The plain women are not gonna sit by and watch some hot chick get job promotions while they work their a$$ off for nothing. They are gonna put up a fight. In most cases, the plain women sabotage the more attractive woman's job by nitpicking and making false complaints to the manager until she finally gets terminated. It usually works if it done within a 90 day period.
I'm also not buying the notion that exceptionally good looking people have better jobs and get more promotions than average and below average people. Whenever I see photos of CEOs/Chairmans/Supervisors/etc of major companies, they are always unattractive older 50+ wrinkled white people. I don't ever see Ken and Barbie in those positions.
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There was research released last year which showed that ugly people were less intelligent (correlation).
That study is b.s. If ugly people are considered less intelligent then why are supermodels always stereotyped as being dumb???
I know of women whom I would consider "ugly" (not necessarily repulsive, just not possessing physical beauty of any sort), and they do not seem to have problems pairing off with decent-looking men. Never seen an ugly girl with a rich guy, though.
On the other hand, ugly white males - or white males who think they are ugly - tend to be lacking in confidence, and do not have girlfriends or marry because they do not even make an attempt. (On the other hand, black and Hispanic men seem to have much more "game", obesity or lack of good looks aside)
I don't know how it effects women in day to day life, but I do see the double standard for men & women.
Consider people's reactions to celebrities. There are many, many ugly male actors & people often don't blink an eye at it or find it comment worthy. These same actors will be praised for their talents & sometimes even be considered attractive because they are successful, talented, charming, etc. Yet, it will be noted constantly when an actress is not pretty, as if people are offended by the fact that they are successful but not beautiful. People especially become venomous when one of these actresses plays a character considered desirable, even though many physically unattractive male actors will do so with no question about it.
An example of this is the strong reaction to Sarah Jessica Parker because her face is not pretty. You can't see her mentioned without hearing her looks torn apart also. Yet, she's a successful actress, has built her own wealth, is generally well-groomed, seems like she has a nice personality, etc. Similar things could be said of Maggie Gyllenhaal or Kirsten Dunst, two other actresses bagged on for their looks a lot. A man with their credentials would be admired & even considered attractive.... but a woman's value always seems to boil down to her appearance, which is judged by extremely high, narrow & nearly impossible standards.
I don't know how it effects women in day to day life, but I do see the double standard for men & women.
Consider people's reactions to celebrities. There are many, many ugly male actors & people often don't blink an eye at it or find it comment worthy. These same actors will be praised for their talents & sometimes even be considered attractive because they are successful, talented, charming, etc. Yet, it will be noted constantly when an actress is not pretty, as if people are offended by the fact that they are successful but not beautiful. People especially become venomous when one of these actresses plays a character considered desirable, even though many physically unattractive male actors will do so with no question about it.
An example of this is the strong reaction to Sarah Jessica Parker because her face is not pretty. You can't see her mentioned without hearing her looks torn apart also. Yet, she's a successful actress, has built her own wealth, is generally well-groomed, seems like she has a nice personality, etc. Similar things could be said of Maggie Gyllenhaal or Kirsten Dunst, two other actresses bagged on for their looks a lot. A man with their credentials would be admired & even considered attractive.... but a woman's value always seems to boil down to her appearance, which is judged by extremely high, narrow & nearly impossible standards.
What always surprises me (and I know it shouldn't) is how amazingly harsh the media and public at large is regarding weight loss after pregnancy. They expect women to be a perfect size 2 within days after giving birth... let the woman bond with her child and not have to worry about how flat her tummy is for a few months! To be honest, I'm petrified of being pregnant because I've heard so many men describe how 'disgusting' their wives/girlfriends were and wonder openly when they were gonna get their bodies back. How about stretch marks? Saggy boobs? Wider hips? I'm hoping to one day find a man who doesn't care, but it seems less and less likely to happen
To be honest, I'm petrified of being pregnant because I've heard so many men describe how 'disgusting' their wives/girlfriends were and wonder openly when they were gonna get their bodies back. How about stretch marks? Saggy boobs? Wider hips? I'm hoping to one day find a man who doesn't care, but it seems less and less likely to happen
Pregnancy is disgusting and I don't see why a man would want to put up with something like that.
If you want kids that bad, either be prepared for some heavy postpartum workouts or just adopt.
Pregnancy is disgusting and I don't see why a man would want to put up with something like that.
If you want kids that bad, either be prepared for some heavy postpartum workouts or just adopt.
Coco Chanel said that if a woman isn't beautiful by the time she's 30, then she's stupid.
I definitely believe that. Being naturally beautiful is much more important in your teens and early twenties. Then, the older you get, the less it becomes about the features you were born with and more about the care you take of yourself. Once a woman is past 30, her attractiveness. is measured more and more by how 'polished' she is - polished skin, good figure, nicely cut and colored hair, tasteful makeup, flattering stylish clothes. This means anyone has the potential to look attractive regardless of what they were born with.
I spent my teens hating the way I look. Now, at 29, I still don't like the facial features I was born with - I have a typical 'Jewish' type face with deep-set eyes, bumpy nose, chipmunk cheeks and weak chin. However, by about 23 I learned how to make the most of what I have. I worked on losing a couple of pounds that, while not essential, worked wonders for my face shape. I figured out the most flattering hairstyle and makeup. I never leave the house without light eye makeup and blush which drastically changes my face, and I've always loved dressing up so I always think my outfits through. And while I still have self-esteem issues, I feel so much better about myself.
When I was 18, I'd compare myself to the other girls my age, 'natural-beauty' girl-next-door types, and feel ugly and horrible in comparison. Now, as an almost-30 y.o. mom of a toddler, I look at the other mommies my age and feel pretty damn good about myself - it's amazing how much some of them let themselves go, and while you can still see that some of them may have been blessed with pretty features, good hair, etc, it's practically invisible under the excess weight, ugly baggy unflattering clothing, messy hair and tired faces without a stitch of makeup. I make sure to look presentable even if I'm taking my son to the playground or the grocery store, it only takes a few extra minutes, but makes you feel so different. It might be cute and sexy when a 'naturally pretty' fresh-faced girl wears sweats and uggs with a messy ponytail and downs cheeseburgers without gaining an ounce due to a great young metabolism; not so much for a 30-something woman.
I guess my point in all that is - it's all in your hands. Even if you weren't born with perfect features, it is still possible to be pretty, attractive, and sexy, and even those who were need to put in the effort to stay that way. Not everyone can be Barbie, but absolutely any woman can be attractive if she puts her mind to it. The easiest thing is to throw up your hands and say 'well I'm ugly and nothing will help so I won't even try' and whine about how unlucky you are. Just my two cents.
Coco Chanel said that if a woman isn't beautiful by the time she's 30, then she's stupid.
I definitely believe that. Being naturally beautiful is much more important in your teens and early twenties. Then, the older you get, the less it becomes about the features you were born with and more about the care you take of yourself. Once a woman is past 30, her attractiveness. is measured more and more by how 'polished' she is - polished skin, good figure, nicely cut and colored hair, tasteful makeup, flattering stylish clothes. This means anyone has the potential to look attractive regardless of what they were born with.
I spent my teens hating the way I look. Now, at 29, I still don't like the facial features I was born with - I have a typical 'Jewish' type face with deep-set eyes, bumpy nose, chipmunk cheeks and weak chin. However, by about 23 I learned how to make the most of what I have. I worked on losing a couple of pounds that, while not essential, worked wonders for my face shape. I figured out the most flattering hairstyle and makeup. I never leave the house without light eye makeup and blush which drastically changes my face, and I've always loved dressing up so I always think my outfits through. And while I still have self-esteem issues, I feel so much better about myself.
When I was 18, I'd compare myself to the other girls my age, 'natural-beauty' girl-next-door types, and feel ugly and horrible in comparison. Now, as an almost-30 y.o. mom of a toddler, I look at the other mommies my age and feel pretty damn good about myself - it's amazing how much some of them let themselves go, and while you can still see that some of them may have been blessed with pretty features, good hair, etc, it's practically invisible under the excess weight, ugly baggy unflattering clothing, messy hair and tired faces without a stitch of makeup. I make sure to look presentable even if I'm taking my son to the playground or the grocery store, it only takes a few extra minutes, but makes you feel so different. It might be cute and sexy when a 'naturally pretty' fresh-faced girl wears sweats and uggs with a messy ponytail and downs cheeseburgers without gaining an ounce due to a great young metabolism; not so much for a 30-something woman.
I guess my point in all that is - it's all in your hands. Even if you weren't born with perfect features, it is still possible to be pretty, attractive, and sexy, and even those who were need to put in the effort to stay that way. Not everyone can be Barbie, but absolutely any woman can be attractive if she puts her mind to it. The easiest thing is to throw up your hands and say 'well I'm ugly and nothing will help so I won't even try' and whine about how unlucky you are. Just my two cents.
I was an ugly woman and it's tough. But there's no alternative seeing that I never had an extra 500K in my back pocket for an extreme makeover. I wasted a lot of time wishing for things I couldn't have. But it taught me a lot too. I grew up to be a kind person who treats other well. It forced me to develop other skills and talents. I had to be smart and capable of taking care of myself.
This, exactly. I actually look better now than I did 5 years ago and most people are surprised when I tell them how old I am. Yet, I still get the "you'd make such a great partner, but I'm just not physically attracted to you" and men barking and laughing at me all the time. It's pretty painful when someone tells you that and then goes on to describe his ideal woman as someone who sounds exactly like you. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was asking a friend if he thought I'd like living in the city he's from and his response was he didn't think so because "It's full of rich, beautiful, competitive people and you're none of those things." Which is funny because he knows I'm highly competitive. Women, on the other hand, are always telling me they think I'm really pretty.
It only takes one though-my late husband thought I was the most beautiful person on the planet, both inside and out.
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Women, on the other hand, are always telling me they think I'm really pretty.
