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Why isn't it okay for a woman to look "ugly" in society? Why do they expect us to look and act a certain way in order to be "fit" for jobs and other important stations in life? Why is there a deep fascination over being "sexy?" Why can't we ordinary women just stand up and tell the advertisers to stop the lies and show images of real people? Why are some beauty rituals considered "hygiene" for women but not for men?
Nobody forces you but you yourself. I am too tall, too this, too that to ever be considered cute or pretty. My mother's advice to a teenager on starvation diets, self hate and in hiding - be different! Use what you have, walk into a room and sparkle, be interesting, wear those heels, be able to make intelligent conversation. It still works:>)
Why isn't it okay for a woman to look "ugly" in society? Why do they expect us to look and act a certain way in order to be "fit" for jobs and other important stations in life? Why is there a deep fascination over being "sexy?" Why can't we ordinary women just stand up and tell the advertisers to stop the lies and show images of real people? Why are some beauty rituals considered "hygiene" for women but not for men?
Forgetting about how this thread has devolved into a juvenile shouting match about who is ugly and who is not, here's an objective evaluation of the circumstances giving rise to your question.
Bear in mind, this is coming from a man... a man who is married to a woman of the type most often considered ugly in America - a tall fat woman. I think she's gorgeous, but my views are not shared by most men. Whatever.
It's not okay for a woman to look ugly in society because the vast majority of the people who evaluate their appearances in any significant way are men. Women may evaluate the appearances of other women but it's in a totally different way. When sexual attraction doesn't come into play, the degree is far lower. Since most people are heterosexual, and men are far more visually oriented than women, women are going to be the target of physical evaluation far more often than men will.
Furthermore, there are all kinds of press articles out there talking about the remaining disparities between men and women in professional endeavors. It is still the case that the majority of people in managerial or executive positions are men. Thus, the people doing the hiring are these visual creatures we know as male human beings. This would explain, to an extent at least, why females have to consider their physical appearances when they are evaluated for jobs. Men have to consider this too, but not to the same extent.
The deep fascination over being sexy comes from men. Let's face it... again there are studies galore to show the huge disparity between male sex drive and female sex drive. For example, a "sexy" woman can go to a bar on a Friday night and expect to be hit on by a dozen guys. A "sexy" man in the same scenario might get only one hit. When you think "prostitute", you think "woman". When you think "male prostitute", you think "gay man". You sure as heck never think about men prowling the streets hoping to be picked up by women. That ain't the way it works. Men have 11 times the testosterone of women, meaning they are essentially walking erections. This is why there's such a huge focus on women being sexy.
Why are some beauty rituals considered hygiene for women and not for men? I don't know where this question comes from. The only such thing I can think of is washing the vaginal area, and the obvious reason for the disparity is because men don't have vaginas. I've never heard of any type of physical cleaning that a woman must do that a man doesn't have to do. If anything, since men stink more, we have to clean more. I shower every day and that's adequate. If I skip a day, I look ratty and I start to stink. My wife won't start stinking or looking ratty until she has skipped TWO days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501
Why can't we ordinary women just stand up and tell the advertisers to stop the lies and show images of real people?
Ah, there's the rub. Y'all CAN do this. Another of the reasons why there is such a fixation on female beauty is because there is that cosmetics industry with its powerful advertising machine. Any business that wants to convince you to buy its product must also convince you that you NEED that product - and the only way you can be convinced of that need is to be convinced that you are not going to be "good enough" without it. When it comes to cosmetics, the only way you can be convinced that you need them, such that you'll spend your money on them, is to be convinced that you are ugly without them and can only be pretty if you buy them. Cosmetics is a multi-billion-dollar industry that would not exist if all women felt they were "pretty enough" or "sexy enough" without makeup. Hence, there is a VERY strong incentive for the industry to maintain psychological control over the American populace... especially the American female populace.
That said, if y'all DID stand up and refuse to purchase cosmetics, the industry (and its phony manipulation of photographs of its models) would vanish practically overnight. The truth is that America needs 150,000,000 women like you. Together, y'all can change all of this stuff that you don't like about the way females are treated in general. I'm in total agreement with you, and I'm a man. I'd help out in the fight.
Um, to clarify. Shaving of the legs, and sometimes arms, is considered hygiene for women, so is wearing deodorant. Men do not pay nearly as much attention to these things when it comes to their own bodies.
Remember, No one makes their physical appearance, God made it as they were born to look like they look.
Depending where one is in society beauty is viewed differently, equally so within community, has much to do with how people come to appreciate others.
This stuff on the Media is often times, the work of many hours of many people who are skilled at applying make up.
Even when it comes to body mass, look around, couples are mated up with a varying range of body build and body mass.
It's for certain many have met people with model marketed looks, but have found them non appealing for building a relationship, and many have found people who are far from model marketed looks, but they keep themselves neat and well groomed, and become desired by another.
None of us know what we will look like tomorrow!!! anything in life can happen and change the way we look in an instance.
It might be a good idea to never overlook the beauty of character and integrity, as well as the expressed genuineness of personality... It can change how the eyes see what it is looking at.
Bottom line is, we should not be focused on our looks when it comes to success in our careers. Ruth Bader Gingsberg, Hillary Clinton, and didnt get to where they are today because of their beauty. Its all about confidence and focusing on being your best in your chosen career path.
Please stay on topic, people. This thread has been cleaned up, and off-topic and inappropriate posts have been deleted. The opening post does not ask for a comparison as to which individuals are attractive and which are not. Please refrain from posting personal attacks and other snarky or rude comments. Thanks.
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I raised two boys and you better believe they use deodorant.
Sorry the world is so anti-hair as to make anyone think they should shave their arms.
People should do the best with what they have and carry themselves with dignity. Then stop worrying about what other people think.
I'd far rather have a friend who's ugly on the outside (as some people would term them), than someone who is ugly on the inside.
By ugly inside, I mean jealous,sarcastic, domineering, controlling, overbearing, high and mighty, condensending, petty, materialistic, non trustable, sour, sullen, and a plain and nasty outlook on everything in life, making everyone else miserable while they're at it.
I know two people like this and I try my best to steer clear of them. One of them isn't attractive on the outside either (=double whammy) and the other one spends a FORTUNE to keep herself beautiful. Skin deep speaks volumes for her.
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