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Beautiful and sexy are two different things. Beautiful means a well proportioned face. Not everyone who's beautiful is sexy and not everyone that's sexy is beautiful. Sexy is way more complex because other variables come to play.
We seek cues of fertility and health in our partners and other people and beauty hints those characteristics. It's not media's fault, media simply offers what sells. Beautiful people are also thought of as smarter and more charismatic even if their not, it might be probably related to biology as well and this is the reason why goodlooking people are more likely to succeed when everything else is equal. Sexy on the other hand, at least when it comes to women, can hinder their success.
The good news is that personality, style, status and body language make the person look more attractive to the point that an average person that is well dressed, has a good job and knows how to carry themselves can pass for hot. This is the case with most celebs.
I agree I have seen actresses ( and actors) play different roles and be looked at and treated in each movie a totally different way. I have seen an actress playing a role of someone considered ugly in one movie and then turn around and be considered hot in another. It is the exact same person looked at in a totally different way.
Sally Field for example has said that the reason she took on the role of Burt Reynold's girlfriend in Smokey and the Bandit was because she was told she looked ugly in her role of the mentally ill woman in Sybil.
Once I got past the age of about 30 something, I decided that I could really give a rat's behind about what strangers thought of my physical appearance. I don't know what exactly happened to bring that about... I guess I started hanging out with people who were more concerned with art and things that were happening in the world.
Physical appearance is pretty low on my list of things I concern myself with. It really just doesn't matter as much as people think it does... we all get older and lose our youthfulness. It's important to develop a personality and intelligence because in the end, that's what's going to bring you more happiness and peacefulness. Be who you are and be confident about it.
Who says you have to look good for society? What's exhilarating in life is completely eschewing "society's" expectations.
I know that! The people I work with, however, don't seem to know. The think there is something called "normal," and everything else, in their book is "abnormal." At least, that's what it seems like.
Once I got past the age of about 30 something, I decided that I could really give a rat's behind about what strangers thought of my physical appearance. I don't know what exactly happened to bring that about... I guess I started hanging out with people who were more concerned with art and things that were happening in the world.
Physical appearance is pretty low on my list of things I concern myself with. It really just doesn't matter as much as people think it does... we all get older and lose our youthfulness. It's important to develop a personality and intelligence because in the end, that's what's going to bring you more happiness and peacefulness. Be who you are and be confident about it.
^^^^^^exactly^^^^^^
Although I am attracted to fit women, it hardly seems to matter if hair is done perfectly, clothing is neat, immaculate, and brand name, and if nails or makeup is done up. I look at the big picture and ask: is the person nice and friendly and do they radiate great energy?
Actually it is a major put off for me to see women all done up when just out and about as I cannot help but wonder 1) how much time and money they spend on trying to keep their immaculate and youthful appearance each and every day and 2) how much importance do these folks place upon vanity?
Yesterday a man came into my art studio with his wife and son. The guy made me laugh out loud as I saw him spend ridiculous time talking about staying clean over the course of just 30 minutes. He put on an apron as soon as he walked in even though he said he didn't want to paint, he then didn't want to open up the tiny paint containers for his young son because he said he might get paint on his own hands *rolling my eyes*. He also spent significant time actually washing his own hands (and moisturizing - he asked if I had moisturizer, one of my employees did) after his son was finished with his project. As if enough energy hadn't been spent on vanity, he found every mirror at my studio and kept looking at himself! The best part was when I saw him pull out his phone to take a photo... and wait for it... he took a selfie in one of my mirrors (rather than take a photo of his son with his completed project!)! He spent more time talking about and worrying about how he looked than actually painting with his 5 year old son! I enjoyed talking with him and his wife, but couldn't help but laugh over the amount of time and energy this guy invested into "looking good" even though he had nobody to impress.
I mentioned the above story of the vane man as something which also can be applied to women I see. I would much rather be around someone relaxed, who is comfortable in their own skin with a nice and friendly personality than someone who feels they need to play the role of supermodel 24/7. It's just a personal preference.
Last edited by belovenow; 11-04-2014 at 05:29 AM..
Although I am attracted to fit women, it hardly seems to matter if hair is done perfectly, clothing is neat, immaculate, and brand name, and if nails or makeup is done up. I look at the big picture and ask: is the person nice and friendly and do they radiate great energy?
Actually it is a major put off for me to see women all done up when just out and about as I cannot help but wonder 1) how much time and money they spend on trying to keep their immaculate and youthful appearance each and every day and 2) how much importance do these folks place upon vanity?
Yesterday a man came into my art studio with his wife and son. The guy made me laugh out loud as I saw him spend ridiculous time talking about staying clean over the course of just 30 minutes. He put on an apron as soon as he walked in even though he said he didn't want to paint, he then didn't want to open up the tiny paint containers for his young son because he said he might get paint on his own hands *rolling my eyes*. He also spent significant time actually washing his own hands (and moisturizing - he asked if I had moisturizer, one of my employees did) after his son was finished with his project. As if enough energy hadn't been spent on vanity, he found every mirror at my studio and kept looking at himself! The best part was when I saw him pull out his phone to take a photo... and wait for it... he took a selfie in one of my mirrors (rather than take a photo of his son with his completed project!)! He spent more time talking about and worrying about how he looked than actually painting with his 5 year old son! I enjoyed talking with him and his wife, but couldn't help but laugh over the amount of time and energy this guy invested into "looking good" even though he had nobody to impress.
I mentioned the above story of the vane man as something which also can be applied to women I see. I would much rather be around someone relaxed, who is comfortable in their own skin with a nice and friendly personality than someone who feels they need to play the role of supermodel 24/7. It's just a personal preference.
I'm an artist and am usually absolutely covered in paint, glue, and... whatever. People who are so incredibly anally retentive about their children staying, "clean" baffle me. Let the kid be creative. That's more important than staying pristine. Way to make a kid neurotic, you know?
I wear makeup and make sure I have good hygiene, but you'll never hear me saying, "Oh my God, I don't have makeup on, I look ugly!" I used to when I was a teenager. But one good thing that comes with maturity is the confidence that you belong in the world, no matter what your outsides look like. And my outsides look like a paint-covered mess sometimes! Most of the time, actually! (And I like it.)
I'm an artist and am usually absolutely covered in paint, glue, and... whatever. People who are so incredibly anally retentive about their children staying, "clean" baffle me. Let the kid be creative. That's more important than staying pristine. Way to make a kid neurotic, you know?
I wear makeup and make sure I have good hygiene, but you'll never hear me saying, "Oh my God, I don't have makeup on, I look ugly!" I used to when I was a teenager. But one good thing that comes with maturity is the confidence that you belong in the world, no matter what your outsides look like. And my outsides look like a paint-covered mess sometimes! Most of the time, actually! (And I like it.)
That's good advice. Maybe I should get a hobby or something to help me build self-esteem. If you are wondering where my original question came from, being a girl, I've been exposed to these "women must be sexy" (whatever that is) since I was probably old enough to read magazines. Out of wanting a job that would allow me freedom of creativity, I trained to be a teacher, but, then, after I started working, I met people who thought my first step to being taken seriously was the way I dressed; they claimed I looked like I didn't have a lot of confidence (to be honest, I was missing real skills that I was really afraid to ask about). I changed my appearance, but performance and confidence didn't improve much. It did, however, leave me with a scar, a scar that has been re-opened again and again. "If you aren't others' idea of beautiful, you will likely not succeed in life, especially if you have trouble communicating your ideals." You have to conform or risk forever being misunderstood, and I just didn't go into a field that will allow me to be successful and do a lot of the latter.
That's good advice. Maybe I should get a hobby or something to help me build self-esteem. If you are wondering where my original question came from, being a girl, I've been exposed to these "women must be sexy" (whatever that is) since I was probably old enough to read magazines. Out of wanting a job that would allow me freedom of creativity, I trained to be a teacher, but, then, after I started working, I met people who thought my first step to being taken seriously was the way I dressed; they claimed I looked like I didn't have a lot of confidence (to be honest, I was missing real skills that I was really afraid to ask about). I changed my appearance, but performance and confidence didn't improve much. It did, however, leave me with a scar, a scar that has been re-opened again and again. "If you aren't others' idea of beautiful, you will likely not succeed in life, especially if you have trouble communicating your ideals." You have to conform or risk forever being misunderstood, and I just didn't go into a field that will allow me to be successful and do a lot of the latter.
I think it's important to have friends who aren't image obsessed. Where you live in the world might also affect your self confidence level, I'd imagine. I visited South Beach, Miami years ago and was struck by how so few people smiled. They all looked like they'd just exited a salon or beauty pageant, but no one looked genuinely happy! Maybe I'm wrong, but they sure didn't give the impression that they were happy. I think there's a lot of pressure to look a "certain way" in some areas of the world. Living in those particular areas would probably make a person feel insecure if they didn't look a certain way, possibly.
I used to read Cosmopolitan magazine (the WORST!) and that also gave me unreasonable ideas of what women are supposed to look like. I think those kinds of magazines are just the crappiest. They don't empower women at all.
All you can do is be who you are, improve your skills (we all have room for improvement, right?) and remember that life is also supposed to be fun. Enjoy what you're doing. You become more beautiful when you're genuine.
I am seriously saying judging people basic on their looks is violating human rights. Everyone has rights to be not judged basic on their looks by other people. Nobody is a god who has a power over other human beings to say what others should look.
Oprah and Venus aren't ugly...more like average. Adele is cute.
Oprah and Venus are ugly. Hillary was far from a bombshell in college, she is/was ugly. Adele is far from ugly.
But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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) since I was probably old enough to read magazines. Out of wanting a job that would allow me freedom of creativity, I trained to be a teacher, but, then, after I started working, I met people who thought my first step to being taken seriously was the way I dressed; they claimed I looked like I didn't have a lot of confidence (to be honest, I was missing real skills that I was really afraid to ask about). I changed my appearance, but performance and confidence didn't improve much. It did, however, leave me with a scar, a scar that has been re-opened again and again. "If you aren't others' idea of beautiful, you will likely not succeed in life, especially if you have trouble communicating your ideals." You have to conform or risk forever being misunderstood, and I just didn't go into a field that will allow me to be successful and do a lot of the latter.
and remember that life is also supposed to be fun. Enjoy what you're doing. You become more beautiful when you're genuine. 
