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Ha, ha...I'm sure I have many of those but at the time I thought I looked great All I have to do is look at some of my pictures from my school years.
LOL, I'm thinking more of the times like I put something on, and I think "It'll look fine as long as I hold my stomach in, and make sure it covers my butt."
But I can't hold my stomach in all the time, and it's annoying constantly pulling my shirt down over my butt. LOL
When there is competition for socisl position in a group, yes. In a female solidarity group, or with a group of older women who aren’t worried about status, then not so much.
I think this is about social position, with an undercurrent of wishing to be sexually desirable.
And remember that guys feel social pressures too, especially in their younger years. It is about girlfriends, cars, possessions, athletic skills. And boys and young men can be cruel to each other.
I think when we talk about female cattiness, we are looking at women through male eyes. Men don’t see their own cruelties.
I think when we talk about female cattiness, we are looking at women through male eyes. Men don’t see their own cruelties.
Right, and it's certainly not true that all men are easy-going and easy to get along with and all women are catty jerks. I feel really bad that for some people, knowing supportive, kind women is the exception and not the rule.
I believe they certainly did in the courts of kings. The ladies-in-waiting would all be hanging out with their Queen, and I'm sure cattiness came up over fashion back then.
It's actually a known historical fact, that they did. Some Brit history TV series about this or that royal exhibit the behind-the-scenes gossip and machinations that went on at Court.
True, and don't forget that guys can be pretty critical of each other, as well, maybe not so much about clothes but about cars, tools, strength, etc.
Guys participate in little one-upmanship games with each other, relating to career, wealth, whatever. Some also compete for promotions, striving to outmaneuver each other on the upward career climb in the workplace.
Guys participate in little one-upmanship games with each other, relating to career, wealth, whatever. Some also compete for promotions, striving to outmaneuver each other on the upward career climb in the workplace.
I think it was easy for women to be critical of other women, especially in times when women had to be the enforcers of morality. When women had a lot to lose by stepping out of bounds, her mother or other female relatives would step in and pull her back in line, to protect her and the family name. She would suffer if her reputation was maligned, and she might not be able to marry well.
In my younger days, we girls had more exposure to fashion, Hollywood and music via the TV, and of course movies. But there were constraints on us. We were thought to be the enforcers of moral behavior between boys and us. Some of us did get bad reputations, although I don't know if that affected anyone's life later. We did not have many role models for careers, but overarching expectations were that we would keep homes for husbands. I think because we felt we did not have many options, our universes were smaller, and small things were more important to us. We were more likely to want to be like the majority of girls we knew. There were social prices to pay for deviating too much from the norm. Women and girls tended to enforce the idea of romantic love, marriage and motherhood. It was easy to criticize others from deviating because it was sort of shocking.
Nowadays, there is much more emphasis on girl or woman solidarity. I think this is a good thing. I am sure that women still criticize other women, but there is less emphasis on conforming to a set of norms. Women seem to be embracing their potentials in all sorts of endeavors. It is hard to be too critical of how a woman dresses if so many other women are dressing differently.
I am sure that women do criticize, just as I am sure men criticize each other. And I think the pressures on girls and women are different than they were on my generation. But the girl of 1964 would not recognize the girl of 2018. She would think the girl of 2018 impossibly free and confident in comparison to her. The girl of 2018 would be shocked that the girl of 1964 was already thinking of marriage.
I know these are generalizations. I am painting with a broad brush, and basing this on my experience many years ago.
When women criticize other women, they are often saying that "I am better, and she should be more like me." But, there should be less and less of this, as women gain more influence. And, much of this goes away after high school anyway. In life, or on a college campus, there is more room for differences and more possibilities for personal development. Criticism should be muted at that stage in life. If women are still acting like scared high schoolers in the workplace, then I have to think they have not developed themselves. They are no better than their grandmothers.
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All I have to do is look at some of my pictures from my school years.
