Flagstaff - Husband Says Yes - I Say No (Phoenix: rent, crimes)

[Zonie5]

IMO you would be wise to stay out of Flag . it IS a college town and is geared to college crowds . in winter you have scads of skiers heading for Snow Bowl . stickto your belief and i hope you two agree on something .

[Beena]

Ohhh Puleeeze. I marriage counsel all the time. And it is about worth what I charge for it :0

Hubby sounds like he has an itch to up and move every couple years. And maybe a little grass is greener concept going on. While I do love Flagstaff and its close proximity to the big city and warm winter weather (Phoenix), it sounds like you are better off buying him a Wii and staying put.

[rich67]

A PS3 is better than a Wii.....I'd stay put for that.

[Gretchen B]

Originally Posted by nowannamove

I think that some may have misunderstood my post. NO I am not looking for ammunition. YES I do not want to move. I don't want to move at all, but especially I don't want to move to any city in Arizona. TRUE my husband and I are in total disagreement. It would be great if my husband and I could be in total agreement, but the fact is that he will probably force the move upon me and my two children.

I think that my opinion is far to one side and his is far to the other. I think that we are both being very biased. I'm looking for folks who live there to share with me their comments about cleanliness of city, crime, jobs, schools, etc. If the city is not dirty, where are these clean neighborhoods? What are their names? Where are the good schools? Where are the jobs? etc... that is what I want to know...specifics.... If I'm forced to move to Flagstaff i want to know what I'll be dealing with.

I've looked at the numbers, now I'm looking for info from residents.

To the person who commented on crime. I'm not making it up. Flagstaffs crime rate per capita is outrageous compared to where I currently live. but you say you have not seen crime? Is the crime limited to certain neighborhoods? if so what neighborhoods?

I am not a big city person nor am I originally from the East Coast. We currently live in a small, wealthy city in Florida. I like it here. My husband does not. And, more important, my kids like it here. My oldest is a junior in highschool and I think it is a crime to force him to move at this point in his life, particularly since my husband already has a good job here where we live.

Having raised four children I couldn't agree with you more that it is extremely difficult to make a move. Some kids adapt better than others, and usually they do better than we think they will. Personally I hate moving and the hassles that go along with it, not to mention that it's always much more expensive than one thinks.

Moving (in general) and specifically, moving to Flagstaff, aside - what really matters more than where a family lives, is that they're together and happy. It's really not so much a town that determines whether or not we're happy or miserable, but it revolves more around the people that are close to us. That's one thing that always makes a move difficult - leaving old friends behind and finding new friends that we feel as close to as our old friends.

This is just my 2-cents worth (or less ) but "Flagstaff" isn't necessarily going to make your husband happy, even though he loves the town. A person can live in a dump of a town and be happy, just because of the people around them. Sure, they may totally dislike the place they live, but if they love the people around them, it doesn't really matter.

I wish your family happiness, no matter where you decide to call "home".

[Great Joy]

Nowannamove,
I understand the reason for your post and your questions because moving, especially way across the US, is a huge decision. I personally like Flagstaff a lot. There are some not so nice areas of town, but most of it is nice in my opinion. And, lots to see and do in the area. I have heard there are few jobs and homes are expensive. We would move there if a great opportunity arose. Since we've not lived there, that's all the info I can help with. If I were you, one of the biggest concerns would be moving the kids due to their ages. Maybe your husband would wait until the kids graduated from high school?

Others,
As we've moved quite a few times across the US, I can relate to the OP. Stats can only tell a person so much. It's great to hear others' opinions of an area. I sincerely believe that is what she is interested in....so that it can "aid" in her and her husband's discussions about whether or not to pursue the opportunity. Learning and talking as much as possible about an area always makes the decision better.

[Zonie5]

today i spent all day in Flag . i was reading this morning of how dirty Flag was and for tha reason i looked at the town with a different view .like someboy said . there are some trashy areas , But on the whole i found the town very neat and clean . also paid close attention of how people interacted and i was surprised at how they treated each other . now to when i go to Preskitt next week and look closely of that town . so far Preskitt has been my favorite .

[nowannamove]

Thanks for your replies. You are correct in your statements. If we did not have children moving would not be such an issue. I would 'go along' easily just to support my husband.

But I don't want to disrupt my kids lives or mine. Particularly my oldest son, the Junior in Highschool. He went through some rebellious times last year and is stable now. I don't want to take any chances of messing things up with him.

I posted here because I'm desperate to either learn that Flagstaff is an awesome town and so if I allow my husband to force this move I will not feel so guilty for betraying my kids. I would not want to tell my husband 'no' if Flagstaff truly is a great place. Or I may learn that Flagstaff is a total pit, and that I have to put my foot down regardless of my husband's demands.

Rich asked if I have a job. I work as a marketing consultant, but mostly just build websites. That I can do anywhere. But I also teach yoga (classes and private sessions) and have positioned myself as a relatively well known yoga instructor in town. I'm in the process of producing yoga videos, which I will have to put off if we move. I'm also enrolled in school to become an RN. Moving will cause problems with that.

Yes, my husband is wanting to move for a small amount of money. BUT he is not miserable or burnt out at his job. I think that his problem is wanderlust - one of you called it 'grass is greener'. He is always looking at new cities, new cars, new jobs...

I agree with the poster that said you can be happy wherever you are. That is so true. When we first moved here I did not like it. It took my children and I nearly three years to adjust. And now that we have found happiness and adjusted my husband wants to move again. Sure I could move to flagstaff and be happy, but what about my kids? It seems wrong to move them. They do not have the coping skills of adults, and plus my husband PROMISED that we would not have to move again until they graduated. Which I in turn promised them. Now he is asking me to break that promise. So, if I'm going to break a promise to my kids, I want to be sure that the city is a good city and that, while they may not want to move, that it is in their best long-term interest to do so.

[nowannamove]

one thing that I would like to know is what would it be like to drive to and from flagstaff to phoenix at 5am in the morning or midnight? I'll have to do that once a week for the first few months if we move. Months would be oct, nov, dec

[rich67]

I agree with you, nowanna. I think your husband needs to settle it down until the kids graduate. Then, if he still wants to make the move, and you two have discussed it, then it would be feasible.
I have the same kind of "wanderlust", but mine is significantly far more spaced out than his, lol.

[Ponderosa]

Originally Posted by rich67

I agree with you, nowanna. I think your husband needs to settle it down until the kids graduate. Then, if he still wants to make the move, and you two have discussed it, then it would be feasible.
I have the same kind of "wanderlust", but mine is significantly far more spaced out than his, lol.

What happens when they finish high school? You are not "rid" of them then by any means. Boys, especially, have very little judgment at 18 and need a couple more years of watchful parenting to mature. They still have their friends and hang out and maybe find trouble. Or they follow you to the new town and just lay around the (your) house because they have no friends and no money and nothing to do. Maybe they go to college in the old state and now you live a country away from them. You can wait until they are 25, graduated, and have babies of their own, but then you want to be around the grandkids. It is really, really tough and I empathize with your (OP) "struggle", but caution you that it does not get much easier if you wait.