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Family of 6 - parents early 40's, children 2,5,10 and 12. 10 year old has special dietary restrictions. They are spending 2K+ per month on groceries + another 200-500 per month on eating out and this MUST stop. The husbands salary is decreasing and he has come to me for "food advice" (which if you knew me is a total joke) hence, my HELP needed!
Wife is a SAHM who thinks nothing of chick-fil-a twice a week and starbucks runs. Doesn't coupon or meal plan. Buys all organic, GF stuff. Wife does NOT want to be told how to shop or what to do, but doesn't know that reality is about to hit - so husband is trying to be proactive with the fact that he and 12 year old daughter will be having to make the plan and then present it to the Mom.
I need as many full on meals that I can share with the husband. Grocery lists, ideas, suggestions all welcome. I am dear friends with the whole family, but the wife is very resistant to suggestion so the husband is going to just "take over" for a while at least until they see how things shake out.
Currently they are generally pretty good with breakfast, but the Mom is stubborn on the hot meal at lunch rule and she often makes hamburger helper or does a Braums run. I have told them both the children will not keel over from having a sandwich and chips.....but anyway....
I have a lot of suggestions, but if the wife is resistant, you are wasting your time. I will not even get into the lunch issue, since someone who thinks Hamburger Helper is more nourishing than non organic food is pretty hopeless.
A general suggestion is to buy plenty of steam in the bag frozen vegetables to have on hand. Plenty of single serving meats, like chicken breasts, pork chops, cube steaks, etc. I see nothing wrong with pre made mashed potatoes if they don't want to peel and boil potatoes. This will cover most of any week's meals.
Anyway, here is one suggestion for Dad. Simple spaghetti and salad. Done in 30 mins, max.
2 bags salad greens, 1 pt.cherry tomatoes and a sliced cucumber. Throw them in a bowl.
I bottle Italian dressing. Of course, homemade would be better, but I assume he wants easy.
2# spaghetti, cook and drain
Place in a large saucepan, mix well and simmer 15 minutes...
1 32 oz. jar Mid's spaghetti sauce with meat (This brand is very meaty so you don't need to add meat separately)
1 28 oz crushed tomatoes
1 15 oz can petite diced tomatoes
Soup, stew, chili, spaghetti, roast, meatballs, .... salad, vegetables, rice/pasta/potatoes. Love your crock pot and your can opener. There is nothing wrong with soup and grilled cheese for lunch.
I am afraid that unless the wife comes on board and realizes that this is not something to inconvenience her but an economic necessity requiring every family member to pitch in nothing will change until the bubble bursts.
what are the dietary restrictions for the 10 year old?
Sounds like the wife probably doesn't like a lot of prep work or pots & pans to clean, so meals that can cut down on that will be more appealing to her. Agree with the steam-in-bag microwaveable veggies, grab a rotisserie chicken, and add some steamed rice.
Also, a roasted supper would probably appeal. Fresh green beans tossed with a bit of olive oil S&P in one pan, sliced potatoes also given the S&P & olive oil treatment in the bottom of a roasting with a small boneless pork loin on top, all in one oven.
Bean & cheese burritos for lunch -- can make up a bunch ahead of time easily and then grab the requisite number & nuke, with salsa on the side for perking it up.
Honestly it's hard to see how someone can spend 2K a month at the grocery store and another 200-500 on fast food. Is she using her debit card to get cash back and then spending it somewhere else, and just telling the husband it's grocery money? My mom used to do that, go to the grocery store every afternoon and buy a couple of items and then write her check for $20 over the amount. She said her mom had always done that too...she seemed to think it was a good idea and that all women did it.
One thing that might help is to take the food money for the month out in cash and hand it to her, say, "This is the food money for the month. We don't have more than that anymore." Seeing your cash decreasing every time you hit Starbucks or Chik-Fil-A can be more motivating than just using your debit card to pay.
His main card to play will be saying that's all they can afford and she can either cut back on spending or go back to work to make up the difference. Yes, there would be daycare involved for the little ones but he can suggest that she get a part time job at night and on the weekends. Or they can scale back their spending, it's up to her.
I would say anyone who eats fast food and Hamburger Helper is just buying organic, GF food because it's trendy. It's also more expensive.
They should get a Sam's membership, or Costco. Start buying big packages of chicken breast and hamburger meat and freezing it in meal-sized amounts. Plan on eating baked chicken, a starch and a veggie several nights a week. Get a variety of seasoning blends and sauces to use on the chicken. I usually cook BBQ chicken (smoke flavoring, McCormick's Cowboy Rub and then BBQ sauce once it comes out of the oven) with mac and cheese and veggies, teriyaki chicken (use a bottled marinade or she could make her own) with fried rice (steamable bags) egg rolls and stir fry veggies, chicken fajitas with rice and beans and tortillas, and once a week I make breaded baked chicken tenders with mashed potato and gravy. That leaves three other days to cook for...hamburgers, fries and salad for one day, spaghetti, broccoli and a French loaf another day, and then pizza on the other day. Or sometimes we'll mix it up and have pancakes for dinner or something like that.
She should quit worrying about hot lunch and save that cooking energy for making dinner. Yogurt and a piece of fruit makes a good lunch for little kids, and the older ones can eat school lunch or take a sandwich.
But really figuring out how she's spending that much every month is the first step.
Hedgehog_Mom has a ton of great advice - especially about using cash, and figuring out where the money is actually going.
I can't even FATHOM spending $2,000 per month at the grocery store - PLUS another $200 - $500 on fast food - it truly boggles the mind. If the expense is more a function of the store she goes to, change stores! Learn about coupons and special deals at the store.
If the kids MUST have a "hot" lunch, bean burritos are a good alternative (from another poster), so is a hot sandwich (grilled cheese and some soup, or chicken and mashed potatoes or stuffing on a piece of bread with gravy), leftover meatloaf, heck - leftovers from the night before!
Good luck to your friends, but I also have to agree with Jkgourmet, I don't know that I'd want to touch this with a ten foot pole.
Really the only way to both save money and provide nourishing meals is to cook most of your food from scratch.
I would suggest the dad get a couple of those "make it and freeze it" type cookbooks where you cook several large batches of food on the weekend and then freeze them in portions to microwave when needed. Most libraries probably have a few of these cookbooks that he could look at to start with, and some are written especially for those with dietary restrictions, like gluten-free, paleo, etc. The older kids can help choose recipes, grocery shop, and do the meal prep. Heck, even the five year old could open freezer bags, wash veggies, etc.
But long term, the whole attitude has to change or they are going to have problems.
Location: St Thomas, USVI - Seattle, WA - Gulf Coast, TX
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I feel like this post doesn't really belong in a food forum; It has a lot more to do with family dynamics, relationships, and household economics than it does with food. Presenting someone with recipes or shopping tips in a situation like this is fruitless (and kind of offensive, from the wife's point of view. How dare a husband purport to "take over" her efforts! WTH?! Are they in a partnership or is he her supervisor, for crying out loud?!). It sounds like you have her frustrated husband in your ear, already describing her as resistant, and complaining that this will be a challenge. Even if she is delusional about money, and he is rightfully frustrated, that is not fair to her or appropriate at all, regardless of your close friendship with them. It's none of your business and this should be between them. And the whole ridiculousness of "teaming up with the 12-year-old" to force this issue with her mom? So clearly inappropriate. We need more reasons to pit tween girls against their "crazy" moms, right? Holy all hell...
There are plenty of ways to lovingly bring your spouse into your head space when it comes to looking at finances, budgeting, spending, personal and family priorities for time, nutrition, food. This is much more complex than having a bunch of food-forum members send you recipe and shopping ideas to be "presented." My recipe: tell her husband to sit down, lovingly, with his wife and team up to go over ALL of their finances (cars, mortgage, food, entertainment, utilities... the works) TOGETHER and make a plan that suits each of their priorities and long-term financial goals TOGETHER. If they look at ALL facets of spending TOGETHER and form a viable budget as a TEAM, then the situation will take care of itself. Grocery lists have zero to do with this situation, IMO. If/when this wife is the one asking for tips to be more frugal in her food purchases, then we can all be happy to help her. That's WAY more realistic and productive.
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