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We all know that there are certain stereotypes in America that cause people to judge you, right or wrong.
One of these stereotypes is living in a mobile home - especially a single wide "trailer" as they are so affectionately called. We live in a culture and society that bases a great deal of who you are on what your house looks like, and no one can argue that people who have "big fancy houses" generally are looked upon as successful.
With any luck, soon I am going to put into a position where I will be hob-nobbing with people who have significant amounts of money. I will be considered a peer, an equal to them. I will dine where they dine, shop where they shop and co-mingle with them in the business world on a daily basis.
Here's the rub. I live in a single wide "trailer". An OLD single wide trailer. And I don't have a swimming pool, or a "basement" or an "outdoor kitchen" or even a garage for that matter. If these people, who will be supplying me with my income, know this, there is a very good chance I will not be accepted as "one of them" and my efforts at being a successful and respected business owner in the community will suffer and possibly fail.
Now, mind you, I am not the least bit ashamed of my living arrangements. My home is comfortable and *mostly* clean. We live on 24 rural acres and every thing IS PAID FOR. I have never had any problem admitting this previously, but previously it has never been an important issue. Now for the first time, it will be.
Thanks to Google and "street view", any one who knows my home address will be able to see that there is a little single wide trailer sitting there. So I cannot really deny its existence or that I am not living in it. So I have devised a lie that I might use in the event I am pressed for an explanation about my living arrangements.... It goes something like this:
"Oh that? Yes, it's a mobile home. My husband decided to buy it while we are building our house. That way we can keep an eye on the contractor and sub contractors during construction". Or something like that.
Now mind you it isn't a 100 percent lie. Because we hope that someday we will build a little house on our property (mobile homes do not last forever). But the house we build will be humble and probably not much larger than where we are living now.
Somehow I feel that fibbing about my living conditions is shameful since I am not unhappy about where I live or why. But I am thinking that being honest about every little detail will not win me any points in the business community, which is important to my financial future.
Normally, I would not even worry about it, but now with Google and all that, people can find out a lot more about you than they once could. If the subject comes up.....what should I do?
Is google really showing your property already? I know they didn't map everything yet.
Now to you question:
if I were you, and I think, I understand the point of your story - I would tell the truth when asked. In just few words I would tell where I live and how. To lie about it could make you distrustful, harm your carrier and peer to peer interaction. Your bosses and coworkers could think that if you lie about how your live, you probably had lied about other things and will lie again just to look good.
What you could do is try to remain a little mysterious and say that for now you have other plans than spending your money to build a big house. Leave it by that and let them speculate how much money you have and what you plan to do with it. Don't try to explain anything or justify your ways of living. That's no one's business; however so soon they would know more details, they will comment on that.
If you don't want anyone to put their nose in your private life, don't lie about but don't voluntary any additional information. Just cut short any inquiries, but don't lie - after a while people will not ask anymore and respect your privacy.
When you get caught on lie, they will never trust you again.
I agree with elnina. I also live in an older single wide trailer and there is a lot on "stigma" associated with it. However, if the people you are going to become a peer with are professionals, it really shouldn't be a topic of discussion much at all.
Well, people like to gossip, especially about someone new, but if you don't feed them much with any stories, they will just have nothing to talk about and turn their attention to someone else...
Just because your co-mingling with them don't EVER get the idea that you are their peer or equal in their eyes. Being a contractor who has done lots of million dollar jobs for clients doesn't make me part of their world even though I probably have more real wealth than many of them.
Tread lightly. I would not reveal more then is necessary. Be fore warned your "status" will come up in their inner circles. I prefer to take their money and drink beers with my buddies. I make the rounds and oh how they suck up when it comes time for donations to their political and charitable causes.
Don't ever lose sight of who you are as a person. It takes a lot of real money and power to move up the status ladder. You already sound like your willing to give up a piece of yourself just by the trepidation displayed in your post. Be careful what you wish for, it might not come in a pretty pink bow.
I would just be yourself. You may have worked hard to get where your at now. Be proud of that. Confidence is everything. Your not showing much confidence in your post.
Good luck negotiating your pool of piranhas.
Last edited by Bulldogdad; 09-05-2010 at 01:09 AM..
Reason: added a few thoughts
I wouldn't lie. I also wouldn't tell them anything either. Some polite questions do come up at any new job. I have handled mine like this:
Where do you live? Name of town.
Oh, I know xxx there are you close to them? yes/no
Then to be polite, I would add I have x amount of acres and farm, enjoy the piece and quiet, enjoy the trees and mushroom hunting etc.
Then they are getting to know you, and all is well.
If/when they find out you live in a trailer, and they ask about it, you will be able to tell if they are interested or being snotty. If interested you can explain, I'm very comfortable in it, I don't need a lot of room, there is less to clean it's paid for, and with the current economy I'm not prepared to build a traditional house and go into dept. If snotty, and they ask, you can tell them, I like it, but I don't think you would understand that choice of lifestyle.
I had one person, very rudely state she could never live like that, and doesn't understand how anyone could or would want to - I said you are right you can't understand, and walked away. That response "scored" me more points than I would have thought, and actually raised my creditablity.
The people you are lying to are driving a car they can't really afford, so they are using their car to "lie" to you about their economic security. Lying is what is done in a social arena where prestige has currency.
You should be very PROUD that everything you own is paid for..
I bet few if any of them ( your co-workers ) can say the same ..
If anyone were to find out you live in a trailer , I would simply say " Yes I do and everything its on is PAID for !- and also we intend someday to build a house on that property " Anyone has asked further questions is likely being rude or tacky at the least...
I really doubt people are going to be looking at street view to see your house, if htey are they probably aren't too secure in who they are since they would be that concerend about your living situation.
I woudlln't like, if you told me you were building a house I would suggest contractors for you and ask you about it from time to time b/c I have an interest in that kind of stuff so unless you want to draw more attention I dont think your lie is a good one.
Also, I think there's some truth to what you said but the stereotype is about trailer parks, they are generally not great places to live, though you live in a single wide that comes off to me like you make a choice to live there b/c of the land, privacy, lifestyle, etc as opposed to just not being able to afford anything but a trailer park.
Honestly if land werent in short supply and expensive by me I would buy a decent amount of land and put up a modern container house or prefab house myself.
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