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On the local news last night, the touching story of a 52-year-old woman adopted at birth who took an AncestryDNA test to find family, and her reunion with her dying birth mother. Another story to give encouragement to adoptees searching who may think that their birth mother wants "privacy" and doesn't want to be found, or that she may be "too old" to handle a reunion.
"From her death bed, an Albuquerque woman says she's held on to life for one reason: the hope she would one day meet the daughter she gave up for adoption at 17. About three weeks ago, she heard from the daughter she gave up for adoption in 1965.
Doctors told Vandenburg she had until May to live. She was done, or so it would seem.
'Then all of a sudden, I wasn't weak anymore when I heard about Sharon,' she said.
On Mother's Day, Vandenburg found a new strength. It turns out the daughter she had given up for adoption was looking for her."
These situations are the exception or it wouldn't have been on the news.
We have all seen the half siblings meeting for the first time on the news. How many do you think still keep in contact? Eventually the facts and not knowing the person win out over the surprise reunion.
When a person has a life and family it is very difficult to add another family member. Might seem ok at first but don't expect a lasting relationship.
These situations are the exception or it wouldn't have been on the news.
We have all seen the half siblings meeting for the first time on the news. How many do you think still keep in contact? Eventually the facts and not knowing the person win out over the surprise reunion.
When a person has a life and family it is very difficult to add another family member. Might seem ok at first but don't expect a lasting relationship.
I'm talking about searching for a birth mother, not a half sibling. Totally different. This story didn't even mention whether the adoptee had any half siblings.
On 23andme I have maybe six or seven known adoptees in my DNA relative list. I have a couple males that I match on the 'X' chromosome so that means we are related through our mothers. These guys also match another male on the same 'X' chromosome so we have a three-way connection through our mothers but still can't figure it out. I'm the only one with any sort of family tree research but I don't see much that looks very likely in the past 200 years. It is frustrating.
These situations are the exception or it wouldn't have been on the news.
..........it is very difficult to add another family member. Might seem ok at first but don't expect a lasting relationship.
I'm always glad to have some stranger tell me how I feel. But, if you know all of the adoptees searching for birth information and you know about every reunion in the country, perhaps I should take your expert advice?
Or perhaps you might like to qualify that statement and let us know it is just your opinion.
My father is deceased and am estranged from my mother. Both were adopted and have some info on their adoptions and have had several 2nd and 3rd cousin matches found on Ancestry.com. My experience has been frustrating as people seem to not want to respond and open a can of worms that an adoption from years past would bring up. Frustrating... The one relative I did have many conversations with alas was also adopted and in a similar boat..
On the local news last night, the touching story of a 52-year-old woman adopted at birth who took an AncestryDNA test to find family, and her reunion with her dying birth mother. Another story to give encouragement to adoptees searching who may think that their birth mother wants "privacy" and doesn't want to be found, or that she may be "too old" to handle a reunion.
"From her death bed, an Albuquerque woman says she's held on to life for one reason: the hope she would one day meet the daughter she gave up for adoption at 17. About three weeks ago, she heard from the daughter she gave up for adoption in 1965.
Doctors told Vandenburg she had until May to live. She was done, or so it would seem.
'Then all of a sudden, I wasn't weak anymore when I heard about Sharon,' she said.
On Mother's Day, Vandenburg found a new strength. It turns out the daughter she had given up for adoption was looking for her."
I've been advocating for adoptees a pretty long time, it's rare that a birth parent doesn't want to know the adoptee. There are women that gave children up that are clueless on how to search or feel that when they signed their rights away, they promised to never interfere in the child's life and that it's up to the child if they want to search.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot
These situations are the exception or it wouldn't have been on the news.
We have all seen the half siblings meeting for the first time on the news. How many do you think still keep in contact? Eventually the facts and not knowing the person win out over the surprise reunion.
When a person has a life and family it is very difficult to add another family member. Might seem ok at first but don't expect a lasting relationship.
I don't know the odds on how many get close and/ or how many don't. It happens both ways. It really depends on each person and the baggage/ expectations they both have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by winston1972
My father is deceased and am estranged from my mother. Both were adopted and have some info on their adoptions and have had several 2nd and 3rd cousin matches found on Ancestry.com. My experience has been frustrating as people seem to not want to respond and open a can of worms that an adoption from years past would bring up. Frustrating... The one relative I did have many conversations with alas was also adopted and in a similar boat..
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins
On 23andme I have maybe six or seven known adoptees in my DNA relative list. I have a couple males that I match on the 'X' chromosome so that means we are related through our mothers. These guys also match another male on the same 'X' chromosome so we have a three-way connection through our mothers but still can't figure it out. I'm the only one with any sort of family tree research but I don't see much that looks very likely in the past 200 years. It is frustrating.
You should both take advantage of the free upload sites, My Heritage and GEDmatch who give free ethnicity and family matching and family tree DNA that gives free family matching. For $19 more you can get other features to help. See my thread here Family tree and DNA general instructions
You also may want to reach out to either a DNA group on FB or the Adoption DNA on yahoo groups. I have 2 blogs dealing with adoption reunion.
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