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Old 04-15-2018, 10:05 AM
 
281 posts, read 170,338 times
Reputation: 265

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I signed up to FTDNA only for one purpose and that was to find my 1st cousins which I was able to. However, now I am getting messages from people who are far down the list of relatives which is fine but there are so many now and I just wanted to block my email. It's not to be rude or anything but I think if you're an 5th cousin, that is getting ridiculous. Also I really have no knowledge or even a family tree to be any help to anyone.

Are all these DNA services used only to find connection or do other people use them for other purposes because several people called me selfish for wanting to block my email.
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Old 04-15-2018, 10:56 AM
AFP
 
7,238 posts, read 4,695,019 times
Reputation: 6190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabbychic View Post
I signed up to FTDNA only for one purpose and that was to find my 1st cousins which I was able to. However, now I am getting messages from people who are far down the list of relatives which is fine but there are so many now and I just wanted to block my email. It's not to be rude or anything but I think if you're an 5th cousin, that is getting ridiculous. Also I really have no knowledge or even a family tree to be any help to anyone.

Are all these DNA services used only to find connection or do other people use them for other purposes because several people called me selfish for wanting to block my email.
That's what I use it for and I contact remote cousins for various different reasons but I understand people use the company for different reasons To be honest I notice a huge difference in how people of different cultures approach their DNA search some cultures share information and are more collaborative others are really selfish and standoffish and don't care about deep roots or finding connections to genealogical dead ends.
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Old 04-15-2018, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
9,255 posts, read 14,293,224 times
Reputation: 12070
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabbychic View Post
I signed up to FTDNA only for one purpose and that was to find my 1st cousins which I was able to. However, now I am getting messages from people who are far down the list of relatives which is fine but there are so many now and I just wanted to block my email. It's not to be rude or anything but I think if you're an 5th cousin, that is getting ridiculous. Also I really have no knowledge or even a family tree to be any help to anyone.

Are all these DNA services used only to find connection or do other people use them for other purposes because several people called me selfish for wanting to block my email.
You're entitled to your own reasons for DNA testing and that doesn't make you selfish, but equally, perhaps you should have a little more respect for people who have other reasons and not call it "ridiculous". Many people take the DNA test to break down brick walls in their family tree and even more distant cousins can be useful for that when triangulating/using the matrix. Just because you are not interested in it (and you're entitled to not be interested in it) doesn't make it "ridiculous".

That said, no one is entitled to expect anything from you - it's YOUR DNA, not theirs. The next time someone calls you selfish, please refer them to this article: https://www.legalgenealogist.com/201...gets-it-right/

"most importantly, we all have to understand and accept that we don’t have a right to access other people’s DNA results just because they happened to test at the same company. Many people take DNA tests for reasons other than connecting with family, and the fact that we’d like to see (and benefit from) their test results doesn’t override their interests and their concerns in their own data."

Anyway, to answer your question, there is no way to block people from contacting you on FTDNA, but you can change your privacy settings so you aren't included in matching with distant cousins: https://www.familytreedna.com/learn/...-sharing-page/
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Old 04-15-2018, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX via San Antonio, TX
6,718 posts, read 9,220,648 times
Reputation: 3927
I reach out when I can figure out a connection to the distant cousin. If I dig in my tree and dig in theirs and am able to identify that distance relationship I'll reach out and say "Hey, I noticed we're both related to so and so. I'm love to get to know you and your side of the family better." I think I've gotten like two responses. But, I also know, like someone else said, people use these websites for different reasons. I think the vast majority use it for the novelty of it all to be able to say "I'm X% of X country," not to connect to others in their family. And I'm okay with that. I've seen 2nd and 3rd cousins I know of on my match list and they've logged in one time and haven't logged in again on ancestry.
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Old 04-15-2018, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Ozark Mountains
634 posts, read 537,540 times
Reputation: 787
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabbychic View Post
I signed up to FTDNA only for one purpose and that was to find my 1st cousins which I was able to. However, now I am getting messages from people who are far down the list of relatives which is fine but there are so many now and I just wanted to block my email. It's not to be rude or anything but I think if you're an 5th cousin, that is getting ridiculous. Also I really have no knowledge or even a family tree to be any help to anyone.

Are all these DNA services used only to find connection or do other people use them for other purposes because several people called me selfish for wanting to block my email.
I have been contacted by many people as well. We usually share our family tree, so they can inspect my tree and I can inspect theirs.
I do not see anything wrong with this.
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Old 04-16-2018, 09:47 AM
 
Location: NJ
12,569 posts, read 22,530,117 times
Reputation: 11483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabbychic View Post
I signed up to FTDNA only for one purpose and that was to find my 1st cousins which I was able to. However, now I am getting messages from people who are far down the list of relatives which is fine but there are so many now and I just wanted to block my email. It's not to be rude or anything but I think if you're an 5th cousin, that is getting ridiculous. Also I really have no knowledge or even a family tree to be any help to anyone.

Are all these DNA services used only to find connection or do other people use them for other purposes because several people called me selfish for wanting to block my email.
How often have you been contacted? I manage tests for myself and 2 kids plus their paternal grandmothers and my husband. I have our DNA in all of the databases. Out of those databases, I'm contacted most on Ancestry and My Heritage and only by a handful of people. I've gotten one email from someone that matched my son's grandmother on FTDNA. I told the person I hadn't done that branch much and would reply when I do, months later she hasn't replied back.

As PA2UK says you can edit your privacy settings to stop people from contacting you. When the match originally contacted me I went to FTDNA to put MIL's profile offline to matches because I didn't want anyone else contacting me when I wasn't ready to answer questions. I like Ancestry and My Heritage the best because it's thru their message system.

I'm surprised you signed up just to find 1st cousins. Doing DNA and a family tree is pretty neat finding other relatives too. It's been neat speaking to some of the 3rd and 4th cousins we match to. For some I'm able to fill in a lot of their gaps with others they've helped me. I originally didn't know I had so much family in the US as both of my parents were Hungarian immigrants.

If at some point you decide to look into more then 1st cousins, consider uploading to the free databases. I have a thread //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post49250127 for info and directions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK View Post
You're entitled to your own reasons for DNA testing and that doesn't make you selfish, but equally, perhaps you should have a little more respect for people who have other reasons and not call it "ridiculous". Many people take the DNA test to break down brick walls in their family tree and even more distant cousins can be useful for that when triangulating/using the matrix. Just because you are not interested in it (and you're entitled to not be interested in it) doesn't make it "ridiculous".

That said, no one is entitled to expect anything from you - it's YOUR DNA, not theirs. The next time someone calls you selfish, please refer them to this article: https://www.legalgenealogist.com/201...gets-it-right/

"most importantly, we all have to understand and accept that we don’t have a right to access other people’s DNA results just because they happened to test at the same company. Many people take DNA tests for reasons other than connecting with family, and the fact that we’d like to see (and benefit from) their test results doesn’t override their interests and their concerns in their own data."

Anyway, to answer your question, there is no way to block people from contacting you on FTDNA, but you can change your privacy settings so you aren't included in matching with distant cousins: https://www.familytreedna.com/learn/...-sharing-page/
I agree, no one should be calling anyone selfish. The OP should just ignore any emails they get.
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:10 PM
 
281 posts, read 170,338 times
Reputation: 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
How often have you been contacted? I manage tests for myself and 2 kids plus their paternal grandmothers and my husband. I have our DNA in all of the databases. Out of those databases, I'm contacted most on Ancestry and My Heritage and only by a handful of people. I've gotten one email from someone that matched my son's grandmother on FTDNA. I told the person I hadn't done that branch much and would reply when I do, months later she hasn't replied back.

As PA2UK says you can edit your privacy settings to stop people from contacting you. When the match originally contacted me I went to FTDNA to put MIL's profile offline to matches because I didn't want anyone else contacting me when I wasn't ready to answer questions. I like Ancestry and My Heritage the best because it's thru their message system.

I'm surprised you signed up just to find 1st cousins. Doing DNA and a family tree is pretty neat finding other relatives too. It's been neat speaking to some of the 3rd and 4th cousins we match to. For some I'm able to fill in a lot of their gaps with others they've helped me. I originally didn't know I had so much family in the US as both of my parents were Hungarian immigrants.

If at some point you decide to look into more then 1st cousins, consider uploading to the free databases. I have a thread //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post49250127 for info and directions.



I agree, no one should be calling anyone selfish. The OP should just ignore any emails they get.

I have been contacted by people that are so far out like 5th cousin. I do answer their questions but I really can't be more help, but some just keep pushing. I have found a couple 1st cousins and talked to them. One is even sending me a ton of photos. With my family gone it makes me feel good to connect with close family members. As for very distant connections not sure how helpful my tree would be but I do still have it open publicly and I do stil have my email available.

On FTDNA I found a some projects/groups. I tried to join this one surname group because it is my surname and they keep rejecting my request. I don't understand why.
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Cumberland
5,258 posts, read 8,459,081 times
Reputation: 3691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabbychic View Post
I have been contacted by people that are so far out like 5th cousin. I do answer their questions but I really can't be more help, but some just keep pushing. I have found a couple 1st cousins and talked to them. One is even sending me a ton of photos. With my family gone it makes me feel good to connect with close family members. As for very distant connections not sure how helpful my tree would be but I do still have it open publicly and I do stil have my email available.

On FTDNA I found a some projects/groups. I tried to join this one surname group because it is my surname and they keep rejecting my request. I don't understand why.
Hmm..........is it a Y-Chrom project? If so, they are looking for males with that surname to test their Y-DNA. I have seen female members of these groups.........but only when they are submitting samples of their fathers, brothers, etc.
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