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Old 11-17-2022, 08:42 AM
 
17,587 posts, read 15,259,939 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbear99 View Post
No stigma? Agree, but even more generally. Why should any kid be blamed for things their parents did?

It's interesting, my spouse took an ancestry test a few years ago, discovering that she didn't have the father she thought. Instead, she was conceived through a sperm donor to her mother, and is a member of a group of dozens of "biosibs". Does it affect her? Not at all. In fact, she finds the story interesting, and how some of her biosibs were aware of the story, and some not. One of the donor's natural offspring is in contact with the group, too.

I don't think.. Stigma probably isn't the right term to use there.


The problem, generally, doesn't wind up being that someone is looked down or for being adopted or anything.. Though, at times, that does happen from other family or other kids.

The bigger issue, to me, seems to be when adoptive parents try to hide the fact that someone was adopted. THAT really seems to mess with the adoptee's head in many cases.

My mother.. It was never hidden from her.. She knew.. as much as my grandparents knew about her parents.. They were never against her attempting to find them and having a relationship with them if she wished.


She.. Certainly did not wish.

She doesn't even want to know anything about them now.. The stuff I've found out. A bit sad.. Because one of her half sisters just passed away from lung cancer a month or so ago.. and she was an only child.. And she really wanted to meet my mother.. And my mother wouldn't even consider it.
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Old 11-18-2022, 08:45 PM
 
15,590 posts, read 15,672,796 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
Incomplete and Vague comes up... but NO; not totally wrong.

Why? What aspect of human nature makes this seem unfeasible to you? To your family?
It has nothing to do with human nature - it has to do with my particular family, the personalities, the inter-relationships, and the timing.
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Old 11-21-2022, 05:04 PM
 
15,590 posts, read 15,672,796 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
Never heard of any "totally wrong" results in spite of a lot of whining and complaining by people who don't like their results. If the results show you are related to someone, you probably are. They can be wrong on how close you are related but are always in the ballpark. Ancestors did not always abide by consanguinity rules, or the gene pool might have been so small in isolated places so there could be some slight confusion on relationships. Ancestors also were not confined 100% to their expected partners in the family tree. And then there are the sperm donors with dozens of kids they don't know about. There can be marriages that no one knew about.

Most of the complaints are related to locations -- Polish rather than German, Scottish vs Irish, etc. Those are sometimes caused by the maps and how regions are defined and historical migrations.
Right, I've heard that about location/ethnicity. Including some white people surprised to have clack ancestry.

In this case, it just seems impossible that there would have been a middle child, who grew up to have other children. I'm not speaking in any way in terms of what I'd want or not want - just in terms of logical possibility.
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Old 06-13-2023, 06:05 AM
 
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Cool 23andMe Confusing

I don't know if I found 23andMe to be totally wrong but my grandmother's family was in Canada since the late 1500's. I have traced them back on this site:https://www.nosorigines.qc.ca/genealogie.aspx?lng=en
Every single christian family member is there yet 23andMe finds no French in my family. My grandmother was French Canadian Indian as my mother put it (but it was shameful to be Indian, she always ended the sentence with). I have traced back to an Ojibwe medicine man among others. 23 has me at 2% NA but no French shows up. My grandmother's ancestors all came from France. All of them if they weren't Native. My grandfather, my mother's mother was half german. His mother was born in Canada too but I cannot get her last name straight from records. I've asked them how I can be missing my grandmother's heritage. I don't even know what they told me. I also asked if people in Canada do 23andme. They also said they could find no migration route for my grandmother's family. This confuses me because there is a whole disclaimer about Native migration patterns and how 23 has agreed not to disclose them. Is this the migrations pattern they are talking about? ?? Also there are very few french cousins, most being 3rd cousins. The other relatives are from my dad's eastern european side. Where is my grandmother???
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Old 06-13-2023, 09:56 AM
 
Location: The High Desert
16,086 posts, read 10,747,693 times
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DNA doesn't pass down in equal portions from one generation to the next. My guess is that your results are accurate but might not reflect what you know from your research.

There are also the possibilities of non-parental links by adoption or infidelity back in the earlier generations.

I have too much Irish DNA than expected but I have married 1st cousins a few generations back. My so-called German ancestors were mostly Baltic and west Slavic people. The results don't always match what our research tells us.
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Old 06-13-2023, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
982 posts, read 542,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
DNA doesn't pass down in equal portions from one generation to the next. My guess is that your results are accurate but might not reflect what you know from your research.

There are also the possibilities of non-parental links by adoption or infidelity back in the earlier generations.

I have too much Irish DNA than expected but I have married 1st cousins a few generations back. My so-called German ancestors were mostly Baltic and west Slavic people. The results don't always match what our research tells us.
you make a good point. My dad, brother and I, as well as my oldest daughter and one of my grandsons have our dna on 23 & Me. My grandson's dad does not know who his father is. The weird thing is that there are some relatives that show up on my dad's list of relatives and my grandson's but not on mine, my duaghters or my brothers. They are usually 3rd or 4th cousins. It does show that my brother and I share 50% of our DNA and my daughter and I share 50% dna, but my brother shows a different percentage to our dad than I do.

There are a lot of 2nd cousins from both my mother's and father's relatives, most of them we don't know, but one of my 1st cousins that I grew up with and my mother's 1st cousin, his son & grandson are on 23 & Me.

As for ancestry, it shows 2% native & .2 % east asian on my mother's side, the asian is weird but might explain a genetic idiosyncracy we have that is common in Japan, and .2% east aftrican on my dad's side which makes sense as half or more of his ancestors are from the british isles, the rest from northern europe (not germany like we were told). The only real surprise is that no german ancestry shows up, just scandanavian. I chose 23& Me because of the medical research they facilitate. A lot of my cousins on my dad's side are on ancestry.com and I am thinking about joining that one to see what the differences are.
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Old 06-13-2023, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
982 posts, read 542,512 times
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I forgot to mention, my dad did a lot of geneology research as did his sister and they often came up with differences in their findings. But my dad did find a cousin who had been born to an aunt in the 40's after her husband died. he remembered that she went to the midwest to stay with a relative for a year and came back. It turned out she had gotten pregnant with a ranch hand and gave that baby up for adoption. He never told me how his other cousins reacted to finding out they had another sister. Even without DNA you can find skeletons in the family closet.
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Old 06-15-2023, 11:57 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,214 posts, read 17,877,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
A relative of mine got a report indicating an additional child in a family (this would be dating back to the 1920s) which seems completely unfeasible. A child who supposedly went on to marry and have children and grandchildren. This seems wildly unlikely.
I must have missed this because I was moving at the time. To answer the actual question (because everyone seems to be responding as though you're asking about the ethnicity report, which you're not), 23andMe is not wrong if a relative of yours got an unexpected close DNA match. While it's possible for people to misinterpret how exactly a DNA match might be related, the fact that they are a close DNA match and the amount of DNA they share is not wrong. And the more DNA they share, or the more closely related they are, the less open to interpretation the relationship is. I can't really say more without knowing more details.

Why do you think it's completely unfeasible or wildly unlikely there was an unknown additional child in a certain family? People find out about all kinds of secrets with DNA - my grandfather father turned out to not be his biological father, confirmed and the bio father identified with DNA. It happens a lot, and in general there's no reason something similar didn't happen in your family.
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Old 06-20-2023, 03:39 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,867 posts, read 33,561,054 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Labonte18 View Post
I don't think.. Stigma probably isn't the right term to use there.


The problem, generally, doesn't wind up being that someone is looked down or for being adopted or anything.. Though, at times, that does happen from other family or other kids.

The bigger issue, to me, seems to be when adoptive parents try to hide the fact that someone was adopted. THAT really seems to mess with the adoptee's head in many cases.

My mother.. It was never hidden from her.. She knew.. as much as my grandparents knew about her parents.. They were never against her attempting to find them and having a relationship with them if she wished.


She.. Certainly did not wish.

She doesn't even want to know anything about them now.. The stuff I've found out. A bit sad.. Because one of her half sisters just passed away from lung cancer a month or so ago.. and she was an only child.. And she really wanted to meet my mother.. And my mother wouldn't even consider it.

I'm sorry. That's how some older people are, not wanting to find bio family to not disrespect the living adoptive family, or they're hiding true feelings afraid of how everyone will feel. The couple that raised the adoptee was loving, they have no reason to find a parent who didn't keep them for whatever reason.

My brother who was adopted out even after my mother changed her mind, he said he wasn't holding his breath to find us at adoption.com, he joined because his sisters who were also adopted, had joined to find theirs. His adoptive parents were some pretty nice people. When my brother came to my house to meet everyone, he brought his adoptive parents. My brother was renamed after his adoptive father.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikedance View Post
I don't know if I found 23andMe to be totally wrong but my grandmother's family was in Canada since the late 1500's. I have traced them back on this site:https://www.nosorigines.qc.ca/genealogie.aspx?lng=en
Every single christian family member is there yet 23andMe finds no French in my family. My grandmother was French Canadian Indian as my mother put it (but it was shameful to be Indian, she always ended the sentence with). I have traced back to an Ojibwe medicine man among others. 23 has me at 2% NA but no French shows up. My grandmother's ancestors all came from France. All of them if they weren't Native. My grandfather, my mother's mother was half german. His mother was born in Canada too but I cannot get her last name straight from records. I've asked them how I can be missing my grandmother's heritage. I don't even know what they told me. I also asked if people in Canada do 23andme. They also said they could find no migration route for my grandmother's family. This confuses me because there is a whole disclaimer about Native migration patterns and how 23 has agreed not to disclose them. Is this the migrations pattern they are talking about? ?? Also there are very few french cousins, most being 3rd cousins. The other relatives are from my dad's eastern european side. Where is my grandmother???


Do an ancestry DNA test plus upload the 23 and me DNA to my heritage, FTDNA and GEDmatch, all are free. Funny, only 23and me shows I have French when I've never heard that.



Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertRat56 View Post
you make a good point. My dad, brother and I, as well as my oldest daughter and one of my grandsons have our dna on 23 & Me. My grandson's dad does not know who his father is. The weird thing is that there are some relatives that show up on my dad's list of relatives and my grandson's but not on mine, my duaghters or my brothers. They are usually 3rd or 4th cousins. It does show that my brother and I share 50% of our DNA and my daughter and I share 50% dna, but my brother shows a different percentage to our dad than I do.

There are a lot of 2nd cousins from both my mother's and father's relatives, most of them we don't know, but one of my 1st cousins that I grew up with and my mother's 1st cousin, his son & grandson are on 23 & Me.

As for ancestry, it shows 2% native & .2 % east asian on my mother's side, the asian is weird but might explain a genetic idiosyncracy we have that is common in Japan, and .2% east aftrican on my dad's side which makes sense as half or more of his ancestors are from the british isles, the rest from northern europe (not germany like we were told). The only real surprise is that no german ancestry shows up, just scandanavian. I chose 23& Me because of the medical research they facilitate. A lot of my cousins on my dad's side are on ancestry.com and I am thinking about joining that one to see what the differences are.


Yes, you should buy an ancestry DNA test when on sale for $49 to $59. They were on sale for fathers day. Ancestry has the largest DNA database. Also upload to my heritage for free.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK View Post
I must have missed this because I was moving at the time. To answer the actual question (because everyone seems to be responding as though you're asking about the ethnicity report, which you're not), 23andMe is not wrong if a relative of yours got an unexpected close DNA match. While it's possible for people to misinterpret how exactly a DNA match might be related, the fact that they are a close DNA match and the amount of DNA they share is not wrong. And the more DNA they share, or the more closely related they are, the less open to interpretation the relationship is. I can't really say more without knowing more details.

Why do you think it's completely unfeasible or wildly unlikely there was an unknown additional child in a certain family? People find out about all kinds of secrets with DNA - my grandfather father turned out to not be his biological father, confirmed and the bio father identified with DNA. It happens a lot, and in general there's no reason something similar didn't happen in your family.


It's a shame they don't post the cM's of the match.

I also don't understand the original question, they got "a report" saying an additional child when 23 and me doesn't have family trees, I assume it may be an unexpected close match, like I said, close family.

Moving stinks. We moved a year ago, sold our house before the market changed.
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Old 06-21-2023, 11:55 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,214 posts, read 17,877,384 times
Reputation: 13921
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I also don't understand the original question, they got "a report" saying an additional child when 23 and me doesn't have family trees, I assume it may be an unexpected close match, like I said, close family.
They say it was a relative who "got a report indicating an additional child in a family", so I'm assuming a relative took the 23andMe test, not the OP themselves, and therefore the OP isn't familiar with the terminology. The relative may be in contact with the presumed mystery DNA match and together they worked out how the mystery match must fit into the family tree. Which is why I say 23andMe is not wrong about that mystery match being a close match but whether their interpretation of how exactly they are related is correct or not, we can't say without knowing the details.
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