Lived in three places my whole life....want to live in one of the places... (jobs, transport)

[the city]

So, I have lived in three places my entire life.

To when I was born to 7 and a half, I was a small child in a southern california city.

Then from 7 and a half, that July to being 19 and a half I was in a rural town in central california.

When I was 19 and a half I I moved to attend a college in LA for six months.

And a couple months after I turned 20, I moved back to the rural town.

But I have to say I was never happy living in LA or the small town. My friends sucked in both towns. The rural town friends were better, so that's why I moved back.

But I feel like I am at the point where I want the in-between. So maybe back to where I was born? I was planning to move a small city of 100,000 population which is 50 minutes away from where my parents live, but that was only based on a potential move my parents were thinking of moving to a very small city of 17,000 population 10 minutes from the small city I was thinking of.

Since my parents refuse to budge, I have to face the facts that if I move 50 minutes away or 3 hours then I have to give up being close to them.

And just maybe they will weaken and move to see me because I know when I lived in LA a month without calling or visiting drove to the point of almost moving closer or spending the night at relatives to see me.

The other thing is that I have an aunt in Palmdale of LA County, one in a town called Ladera Ranch of Orange County, an uncle in Northridge of LA, and I used to spend Summer and Spring breaks during high school visiting my grandma in the city I was born and raised as a child in. And my parents used to visit it alot.

My problem is I don't want to stay in the town I am in now. My parents are like logs and hard to do anything with unless you want to take the effort to plan everything out. And my friends are nice, I've known them for a while, but they can get busy and their mentality is different than mine.

My friends don't care about diversity, some are out of touch how poverty is, and they they don't care about public transportation or malls or community events. This is not a bad with friends, but I want friends that are as close possible to me as possible.

So I am thinking of looking for a job in the southern california city I was born and raised in for a while of my life. Versus just starting over again in a new city. I look for the desire that I belonged in the place. I want to have some sense of being a "local". I can remember some old things about growing up in a place like the old mall my would take me too, birthdays at Chuckie Cheese, going to Toys R Us, Christmas with all my dad's family and spaghetti even on Christmas, and I can recall my brother and sister going to the high school there.

Both cities I am thinking-Santa Maria (100,000 population) and Oxnard (200,000 population) have alot of jobs for my field. The job in Santa Maria starting wage was around $48,000 and ending salary at at almost $60,000. I haven't checked out in the pay or anything in Oxnard, but I'd presume it will be higher because it's a larger area.

The hardest decision I am making is rather I should move to be 3 hrs away from my parents or move so that I am an hour away from my parents.

I would also get plugged back into with my parent's old church in Camarillo.

Thanks for any advice possible!

[bouncethelight]

You've posted before that you're a student at Allan Hancock Community College - I spent a year there, a long time ago, so it stuck in my head! And you've also mentioned that you want to go to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, which is a good school, and close to where you live now.

So if I were you I would just concentrate on school for now, and figure that you have two or more years to figure out where you want to live, once you graduate. Go ahead and think about where you want to live - and dream about it - and visit all the places you're considering, but don't try to come up with a final decision right now. As you get closer to graduation you may find that your path becomes more obvious. You may have a favorite professor with connections in a particular city? Or you may discover you have an aptitude for a certain specialty, that you can only pursue in certain places? Or you may fall in love with someone, and want to plan where you live, based on their desires as well as your own?

The point is, you have a long time until graduation, so use that time to consider all the possibilities, but don't try to plan too far ahead, when it comes to where you will live, and work. Life can take many turns, and it's best to be open to all the possibilities!

[the city]

Originally Posted by bouncethelight

You've posted before that you're a student at Allan Hancock Community College - I spent a year there, a long time ago, so it stuck in my head! And you've also mentioned that you want to go to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, which is a good school, and close to where you live now.

So if I were you I would just concentrate on school for now, and figure that you have two or more years to figure out where you want to live, once you graduate. Go ahead and think about where you want to live - and dream about it - and visit all the places you're considering, but don't try to come up with a final decision right now. As you get closer to graduation you may find that your path becomes more obvious. You may have a favorite professor with connections in a particular city? Or you may discover you have an aptitude for a certain specialty, that you can only pursue in certain places? Or you may fall in love with someone, and want to plan where you live, based on their desires as well as your own?

The point is, you have a long time until graduation, so use that time to consider all the possibilities, but don't try to plan too far ahead, when it comes to where you will live, and work. Life can take many turns, and it's best to be open to all the possibilities!

I want to do drug and alcohol counseling or do something with homeless. I plan to get an apartment first, but definitely am looking for where I want to live before I think about a wife or a job.

Ventura County has four drug and alcohol rebab centers, but the county has a system like SLO County where you start in position one, then move up to two, and then finally three. The private sector pays better, and usually if you have the experience you can end up in the top position already. SB County only has one position, and if you have the amount of experience and the degree they place you there.

I am not sure if the Ventura Youth Authority has drug and alcohol rebab positions. My dad used to have friends who worked there and said they don't, but that was years ago.

My biggest problem working in the private sector though is a lack of job security unlike the county where you join a union.

And I have two and a half years to make a decision.

[jasper12]

Move where you get a job. These days, it can be a duanting task. Also, as you get older, those tv shows, like "Friends", and "Sienfield", are just not real. People don't hang with their friends 24/7. People work, go to the gym, go to classes, do stuff. They are not with friends all the time. Part of getting older.

[the city]

Originally Posted by jasper12

Move where you get a job. These days, it can be a duanting task. Also, as you get older, those tv shows, like "Friends", and "Sienfield", are just not real. People don't hang with their friends 24/7. People work, go to the gym, go to classes, do stuff. They are not with friends all the time. Part of getting older.

Well I figure the closer I am to a big city and a degree from a prestigious university will help me get a job.

Well I guess it makes sense on the friend scene.

I figure at least twice a week though to hang with people. 5 days work, 4 days gym, 2 days friends, one day church. That's a good week for me.